1. 1. The Prince Alberts (8-2) – The defending champs
are looking to bring another trophy home to titletown as they have won 7
straight and boast a league best, 8-2 record.
It’s no surprise that this team leads the league in total points (by
almost 200) with a pitching staff full of horses like Darvish, Bumgarner,
Teheran, Shields, Kazmir, and young stud Michael Wacha. This stable of a staff
has combined for over 730 innings pitched. Look for this team to stay hot and lock up the
#1 playoff seed.
2. 2. Boats-n-Hosmers (7-3) – Owner and GM, Andy Schoon,
drank beer and watched his team leap to a hot 4-0 start and posting a league
high 517 points in week 3. The Hosmers appeared to be the team to beat early
on, but have come back down to earth after going 3-3 in their last six.
However, like the top team on this list, the Hosmers tout a top notch pitching
staff that has amassed 727 strikeouts in just 684 innings. No doubt power arms
like Kershaw and Greg Holland will carry this team into the playoffs.
3. 3. Los Gringos Blancos (7-3) – The Gringos have
been off to a quiet, yet impressive start to the season. I say ‘quiet’ because
owner and GM, Cheese Horner, claims he “barely checks his team”. Nonetheless,
this squad has a strong pitching staff – and if young bats like Eric Hosmer and
Brett Lawrie continue to trend upward, look out.
4. 4. Rebel Yell (5-5) – Joining five other teams with
a record of 5-5, Rebel Yell is the best of the mediocre. Not much to brag about
there, but this squad has allowed the most points at 3,719. The Yells are led
by veterans Adam Wainwright and Troy Tulowitzki, who are the leading
vote-getters for their respective positions in this year’s mid-summer classic.
Birry Butrer changing his diet is the only chance this team has at pulling away
from the pack.
5. 5. HGH Junkies (5-5) – Coming in at #5 are your
Kansas City Royals!!! No seriously, they are your win one – lose one, win two –
lose two—just like our boys in blue. GM, Pearce McKinney, is optimistic,
however, due to his strong pitching staff led by Japanese stars Masahiro Tanaka
and Hisashi Iawkuma. The recent acquisition of Anibal Sanchez has the Fighting McKinneys
all in this year. Rumor has it, though,
that Junkies’ ownership has looked into moving the team to Tokyo. Ahh won ton wahhhhh!
See you in da prayoffs??!!
6. 6. Team Elephant (5-5) – Checking in at #6 are the
NEWLYWEDS! Shortly after GM Casey Wayne’s big day, he released Anibal
Sanchez?!?!?!?!?! Sanchez was signed for 5 years 80 million and boasted a 2.24
ERA for the ‘Phants so far in his 2014 campaign. You can’t argue with this
team’s bats, however, as they’ve produced 435 RBI thus far behind guys Like
Miggy Cabrera, Jose Bautista, Charlie Blackmon, Sal Perez, and now Lonnie Chisenhall. My prediction:
pitching is everything and this team doesn’t have it.
7. 7. CW’s Trouser Trout (5-5) – The Trout’s have
already won this year’s “Best Team Name” award. Bravo CW! After a hot 3-0
start, this team was destined for another playoff appearance. That was until
the injury bug plagued their young pitching staff. GM Sven Murphy can thank GM
CW for much his success at the plate as he traded George Springer for a can of
grizz wintergreen back in May. The
Trout’s success lies in the hands of its namesake, Mike Trout – and if young
fireballers Yordano Ventura and Chris Sale can stay healthy – book this team
another trip to the playoffs.
8. 8. Penn Valley Pooches (5-5) – The parody of this
league continues as ANOTHER team checks in at 5-5. Felix Hernandez and Edwin
Encarnacion are proven leaders who may just lead this team to the promise land.
You have to credit Pooches GM, Matt Murphy, for keeping this team’s identity
the same since the inception of this league. Once again, the Pooches lead the
league in saves and hold the least amount of starting pitchers on their roster.
An interesting strategy to say the least, but remember – this team has done it
before, a la 2012.
9. 9. Prairie Village Predators (2-8) – Has anyone
seen Harry? Yeah, me neither. The
Pradators have lost six straight and are last in total points. Enough said.
10. Crocs in Florida (1-9) – Last and definitely
least, the Crocs are this year’s Astros. This team has the second most points
allowed, but they are also second to last in points scored. Hard to believe this team is so awful with
guys like Goldschmidt, Donaldson, Hanley Ramirez, Joey Votto, and Yoenis
Cespedes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: pitching is everything.
Rumor has it Jason is willing to trade his baseball players for fantasy
football draft picks – any takers?!?!?!
