120 Miles East of Gods Country
WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS!
- Kaibob Kangol Krew (1-0) –
WOW! Who saw a 128 pt week 1 victory coming from Keene Cheese? Certainly
not the esteemed media members that follow the KSBFFL! Its certainly
possible that the fighting white robes from the desert will come crashing
back to reality if Aaron Rodgers misses significant time but for now they
are on top.
- The Huge Ditkas (1-0) – An
impressive week 1 win over the always competitive MonStars has GM Button
Settle feeling confident “We had a great draft. I missed the Memo on
keepers but unlike some other teams in the league I didn’t have to wait 6
rounds between picks”. Button Settle better hope Alvin Kamarakura keeps
playing like a stud if we he going to be throwing that kind of shade
around.
- Farve Dollar Footlongs
(1-0) – Will a move to the Tar Heel state help turn Sven Murphy’s franchise
around? Sven thinks so and much like his days at 509 he has been picking
up the local boys “We are leaning on our hometown heroes Cam and
Christian. Pairing them with our amazing receiving core (OBJ, Jarvis
Landry, Keenan Allen) should bring us back to our rightful position on the
top of the league”
- Keckism Killers (1-0) –
The Killers defended their championship with an easy win over the hapless
dawgs from Texas but lost star WR Marquise Goodwin to a severed leg. “Its
tough, real tough to lose a guy like Marquise” Defending champion Jason
Aces Stanley said, “But as hard as this loss is Marquise just wasn’t a key
part of our ball club. As long as Todd THE MACHINE Gurley is on our squad
we feel good about our chances of repeating”.
- The FIrechefs (0-1) –
Despite an impressive 120 point performance the FireChefs started the year
out with a tough loss to the KKK. “I’m not happy about my draft and I
expect to lose every game” Head Ball coach Justin Van Heche said. With
LeVeon Bell out all season with a poor attitude Coach Van Heche better
hope James Conner Brings his lunch pail in every week.
- Deadbeat Darryls (0-1) –
When 3 players score 70% of your points its never a good sign but the
Darryls should get back on a winning track if Dalvin Cook and Jimmy Graham
can find the end zone.
- Slob on my Cobb (1-0) –
Week 1 wasn’t pretty for ole Tuck Tuck but he eeked out a 4 point win over
the Puffs. “To be honest I didn’t even set my lineup as I HAVE A SMALL
CHILD INSIDE OF ME TRYING TO COME OUT AND I REALLY JUST WANT IT OUT SO I
CAN POUND SANGARITAS AGAIN” GM Jenny Trupka said.
- Raytown MonStars (0-1) –
Coach Lady was pretty angry after their week one loss and was overheard
dressing her team down in the locker room after their week 1 loss “YOU ARE
ALL PATHETIC, PATHETIC WASTES OF ATHLETIC ABILITY. IF I HAD OPPOSABLE
THUMBS I WOULD STRANGLE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU”. Look for Kareem “The
Dream” Hunt to be more involved in their week 2 matchup.
- Texas Dawgs (0-1) –
“Considering we had 2 picks in the first 7 rounds we are happy with where
our team is after week 1” Coach Dawg said. “We fully expect Marcus to be a
top 3 QB by the end of the season and won’t sit on our laurels if we think
we have a chance to win this year”. Of course not Matthew, of course not.
- Puff Puff Pass (0-1)
- After spending all week trying to
trade Carlos Hyde GM Puff Meyers left him and his 12 points on the bench
last week which costs him a win in week 1. “I took some bad advice, look
for Carlos to be back in the starting lineup.
- I Touchdown There (1-0) –
Despite a week 1 victory the Touchdowns have a lot of unanswered questions
heading into week 2. Will Big Ben still be the starter? Will David Johnson
ever return to his 2016 form? Will Little Baby Coop be ready to take over
the franchise in 40 years?
- Prairie Village PC Police
(0-1) – We are all dumber after seeing your week 1 performance. I award
you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.
