Waves of Change in the KSFBFFL
After a tumultuous 2020 the KSFBFFL has embraced Fairness and Equality for All as one of the key tenants they expect all clubs to adhere to. To help make sure these new directives are followed a Fairness Committee consisting of Ben Jong, Pearce Pelosi, Michael Biden and Matthew Mao has been formed and is currently reviewing a recent trade made between Matt Murphy and Austin Meyers. The fairness Committee hopes to reach their decision by early Monday Morning at the latest.
What sparked this wave of change in the normally conservative KSFBFFL? Some say that it was the passing of the reigns of ownership from Justin Van Heche to his small adorable child Millie Van Heche back in Late October. Millie’s first action as owner of the club was to trade Dalvin Cook immediately “While we appreciate what Dalvin has done for our organization, his misogynistic comments in the locker room have no place in the modern KSFBFFL. We are going to run this organization the right way. I am an agent of change and we do not stand for the attitude that Dalvin brings to our locker room.
- Biden Pulls Out 7-0-1
The Pull outs won a close won last week against the Dem’s but may have lost star player Derrick Henry for the year with a foot injury. They are hoping that recently acquired Lil Christian McCaffrey can come back strong off the IR and pick up where Henry left off.
- I Touchdown There 6-2
Coach Mike Biden will be pulling double duty this week as he joins the fairness committee in addition to his normal role as coach of the Touchdowns. “My squad is on Auto Pilot right now so I can afford to focus on the integrity of the league” Biden Said.
- PV Leg Hounds 5-3
It was stink town USA last week as the Leg Hounds were whipped by the Touchdowns. If Lil Kyler Murray keeps playing like this the Leg Hounds will go yet another year without winning the Martin.
- Cleveland Steamers 4-4
Steamers owner Tristan Schumer has yet to comment on the recent fairness controversy in the KSFBFFL so we reached out to him for a comment “Honestly I’m too busy making Friendsgiving invites to pay much attention”
- The Huge Ditkas 5-3
Matthew Mao is taking his Fairness Committee role seriously and is consulting with Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot before the Fairness Committee meets on Sunday.
- Roughing the Kooch 4-3-1
Out on the Left Coast Owner Scott Guliani has seen it all before “Sometimes I run over human poop in my car, sometimes its protestors, either way I don’t slow down”
- Dem In Dementia 4-4
Dem’s owner Matthew Trump is furious over the newly formed Fairness Committee holding up with recent trade. “I’M THE GREATEST ATTRACTION THIS LEAGUE HAS EVER SEEN, LOOK AT THE RATING THIS BLOG POST WILL GET” he tweeted at me.
- Keckism Killers 4-4
The Killers are hoping to be the first team to knock off the Pull Outs but owner Jason Cuomo has made his thoughts on the fairness committee quite clear “Its well past due” He said as the slipped his hand around the back of an intern.
- Lotawana Lake Rats 3-5
Wayne Limbaugh is still fighting to make the playoffs and has refused to comment on the leagues new Fairness Doctrine. “We are focused on winning ball games, that’s it”
- Puff Puff Pass 2-6
Puff’s owner Austin Hannity has been ordered to take a Mandatory Drug test before Sunday or forfeit the rest of the season “I thought this was America not communist CHYNA?” He said before googling “how to beat a weed test”
- The Firechiefs 2-6
New owner KaMillie Harris has sparked quite the firestorm during her first week at the helm of the Firechiefs franchise and she is not backing down “This is only the start, did you know that the KSFBFFL Offices do not have complimentary feminine hygiene products?!?”
- Farve Dollar Footlongs 1-7
Co-Commissioner Steven Carlson has been strangely silent on the leagues new Fairness Doctrine saying “With the way my team is playing I don’t deserve to have a voice”
