1. PV Football Club – Coming off a dominating beatdown of the Lake Rats the PV Football Club only gets stronger with the addition of Star Running back Austin Eckler who is coming back off injury. “Coach Lola has the kids playing hard and we plan to keep our head down and grind out some wins the old fashioned way” Owner Pearce McKinley said.
2. Keckism Killers – The Killers are also undefeated but are taking a different approach than the Football Club “I just ordered some coach prime sunglasses and a gold chain, trying to follow in his footsteps” Coach Stanley said between sips of his gay bud light bottle. If DeVante Adams can stay hot this team has a bright future.
3. Christian Mingle’s Dingle – After a crushing week 1 loss the Dingle’s have bounced back with 2 straight wins and face the reeling Steamers this weekend. “Not Worried, not worried at all” Coach Lady said with a shotgun pointed towards her head.
4. Puff Puff Pass – Despite having the 8th most points scored the Puff’s are sitting at pretty atop the south division at 2-1 mainly thanks to the Cowboys Defense. They face a knock down drag out slugfest against their old nemesis the PV Football Club this weekend but their Coach decided to take off for a quick vacation to California. “I remember the last time I got in a slugfest with McKinney, it was a breeze and didn’t turn out to well for him” Coach Puff smirked.
5. Huge Ditkas – The Ditka’s haven’t scored more than 94 points so far this season but are 2-1 and Head Coach Button Settle is looking to shake things up and steal a page from Kelce’s book “Joe Burrow is getting one more chance to show up and not be a dud. He’s looking for someone famous to invite to the game and sit in his moms suite to give him a boost. Olivia Rodrigo hasn’t responded to his DM’s yet so we will see…..”
6. Dem in Dementia – The Dem’s were second in the KSFBFFL in scoring last week but pound leader Dawg Murphy is not satisfied “We are going to keep relying on our dawgs out there and Jonathon Taylor will be back. We have a deep team but need a TE.” He said before barking at the mailman.
7. I Touchdown There – It seemed as if the Touchdowns had last weeks game in Hand before the Killers came roaring back to win the game. “It appears as if we got a little too excited and might of prematurely blew our load” GM Brungardt said “Hopefully next week we can last a little longer”
8. Farve Dollar Footlongs – At 1-2 the Footlongs appear to have thrown in the towel with coach Charlie spotted wearing a #Tank4Caleb t-shirt on the only walk he got this week.
9. The Firechiefs – Determined not to let this season get away Coach Donut Boi addressed the media yesterday “Well we can’t let the Dementia’s beat us twice. We’ve got to put last week in the rear view and move ahead. We have had some big injuries but our team has a “Next man up mentality”. He then promptly blew his entire waiver wire budget on the Dolphins backup RB.
10. Cleveland Steamers – The Steamers got their first win of the season last week and it’s got Master Tucker all rev’d up “Feels good to get a W in the books. Week 1 is on the coaching staff. We took the hype pill thinking Geno was ready for primetime but he went straight back to his holgerson days. We’ll stick with our gut from now on to keep the momentum rolling.” They face a tough matchup next week against the SURGING Dingle’s.
11. Lotawana Lake Rats – The waves are rough to start the fall out at Lake Lotowana and the Lake Rats are taking on water faster than the Titanic. GM Wayne Walker seems more concerned about posting fake golf scores on 18 birdies than managing his ball club.
12. Roughing The Kooch – Out in Oregon the Kooches are the only winless team in the KSFBFFL but Managing Director Scott Harris thinks the has Identified the problem… “Our problem is an auto drafted team plays with no heart. We need to find our heart or acquire one from a willing donor in the Philippines.”
