140 Miles East of Gods Country
Week 7 KSFBFFL Power Rankings
King of the Castle!
GM Mike Brungy surveys his kingdom
1. Touchdowns (5-1)
Can Anyone stop the Touchdowns? After a week 1 loss to the Monkeys the Touchdowns have rolled off 5 straight wins and have the 3rd highest Point total. “The guys are just going about their business. As I mentioned before we had a taste of postseason play last year year but didn’t get where we wanted” GM Mike Brungy said, “One game at a time and this week it happens to be the 3-3 Zippers”. The Touchdowns could be even more dangerous if Stefon Diggs comes back healthy.
2. Raytown 3/5rs (4-2)
After a week of punishment Head Ball Coach Lady is ready to feast on Steak and Bacon all this week. “Its on me, all on me” She said. “GM Ben Keck drafted a hell of a team and its on me to keep them focused and playing hard”. Kirk Cousins lead the team with 27pts last week and new addition J-Rod McKinnon had a breakout game putting up 19 points off 2 touchdowns.
3. PV Monkeys (4-2)
Despite a heartbreaking loss to the 3/5rs last week the Monkeys are sitting pretty at 4-2 and have topped 100 points in each of the last 2 weeks thanks to a recent QB Change. “Matty Ice wasn’t getting the job done, fortunately we have a young sexy stallion with a pringles can in his pants to replace him” Coach McKinney said referencing DeShaun Watson. Another young stallion that had a breakout game last week is Derrick Henry who is finally getting a start this week against the Ditkas.
4. Keckism Killers (3-3)
“They didn’t put together their best effort this weekend” Coach Boo remarked when asked about his squads lackluster performance against the previously 1-4 Krew. The Killers still have the highest point total this year by 3 points but have not topped 100 points since week 3. They should have an easy next 2 weeks against the Deadbeat Darryls and Footlongs but will need some more production out of their Flex spot if they want to take home The Martin.
5. Zipper Destroyers (3-3)
Left for dead after a 1-3 start the Zippers have quietly crept back to .500 and have a huge matchup against the Touchdowns this week. Always a dealer at the deadline GM Matt “Dawg” Murphy is already missing 2 draft picks “Unfortunately we don’t have many picks to deal this year” He said. “I got drunk and reckless. I am no longer handling those responsibilities as I have handed control of future picks over to Emily. We are happy with our Runningbacks and will have Ezekiel back for the Playoffs.” Luckily for the Dawg RB Dougie Fresh Martin looks primed to return to his 2015 form.
6. Puff Puff Pass (3-3)
The Puff’s eeked out a 4 point victory last week despite 0 points from RB Bilal Powell. “That Powell guy is worthless” GM Austin Meyers said “I’m in desperate need of a RB and got my eye on a couple”. If the Puff’s can secure another RB to Pair with Jordan Howard he may have a shot at the Martin. Unfortunately Aaron Rodgers injury could hurt Jordy Nelsons production for the rest of the season.
7. Huge Ditkas (3-3)
The Ditkas spent some time at the top of the power rankings earlier this year but have dropped 2 straight and there are Rumors that they could be throwing in the towel and playing for next year if they lose 1 more. Leonard Fournette would be 1 player that could command a high draft pick but GM Matt Settle isn’t ready to deal yet “We’ll see. Nothing is set in stone but I have gotten multiple offers for the youngster Fournette”.
8. Slobb On My Cobb (3-3)
A pitiful 56-44 win over the deadbeats last week stopped a 3 game skid but don’t think 2 time Champion Tristan Trupka is throwing in the towel. “We acquired an extra pick easily while in Nashville and may look to cash in on it this year” he said. Unless the dawgs 5th round pick can buy 2 RB’s and a WR is may just be a wasted cause unless Julio and Tyreek can get healthy.
9. Kaibob Kangol Krew (2-4)
The Krew are riding high on a 2 game winning streak and suddenly find themselves just 1 game out of a playoff spot after their shocking upset of the Killers last week. It was quite an impressive performance indeed as they scored 102 pts despite Aaron Rodgers going down before scoring 1 point. With Rodgers out of the mix it looks like the Krew will be relying on Andy “The Ginger” Dalton to lead them to a playoff spot.
10. The Firechefs (3-3)
Speaking of Gingers the Firechefs put up yet another dud last week in their loss to the Zippers. After 6 weeks of KSFBFFL action the Firechefs have scored above 76pts exactly once and have never broken 100 pts in a week. When asked about possible being a seller at the deadline GM Justin Van Hecke shook it off “We aren’t there yet. We feel good about Adrian Peterson’s revival but unfortunately sat him on the Bench last week. We will see how we perform this week and re-evaluate”. If they do sell LeVeon Bell could bring the biggest bounty in the league.
11. Farve Dollar Footlongs (2-4)
The Footlongs are in full fire sale mode after Injuries to OBJ and Dalvin Cook. “The phone has been ringing off the hook, no doubt about it” Coach Murphy said “However we just haven’t connected on an attractive enough offer. I’m optimistic we will get something done before the deadline though”. Look for his Gillislee/Cooks/Thompson to all find new homes before the deadline hits.
12. Deadbeat Darryls (1-5)
No. Casey has not paid his entry fee yet.
