140 Miles East of Gods Country
Lady and the 3/5r's take over the Top Spot!
3/5'rs Coach Lady Fronts On the Haters
1. Raytown 3/5rs (3-1)
Coach Lady has the 3/5rs rolling on all cylinders right now after a 95-60 beat down of the Cobbs. “We feel real good right now. We are the only team in the league with 3 players who can’t be dropped so we know its all going to be on the MGMT to have a successful season”. Fans in Raytown shouldn’t get to comfortable in the #1 spot as they face a trap game this week against a Puffs squad that led all teams last week with 132 points.
2. Huge Ditkas (3-1)
That was a statement win last week by 2nd year GM Matt Settles as he dismantled former #1 Keckism Killers behind 20 pts from the Houston D. But will he stick with them this week? “As of now I’m working on some last minute defensive changes so I’m not rooting against the Chiefs” Settles said “The projections for this week don’t scare me, look for the Ditkas to keep rolling against the Zippers”.
3. Keckism Killers (2-2)
The killers have the highest point total in the league at 398 but unfortunately their defense has more holes than swiss cheese. Luckily for the Killers they have 4 games remaining against the 2 worst teams in the league(KKK / Deadbeats)
4. I Touchdown There (3-1)
"The squad is doing great" GM Shannon Gomez said. "Really pleased with how we bounced back from a week 1 loss. Obviously DJ's death hit us hard but the ream has really rallied around him to win 3 straight." The Touchdowns have a challenging match up this week against the Firechefs who finally showed some life last week.
5. The FireChefs (3-1)
Finally! Some signs of life out of this team with a solid 93 pt win last week but it was not without a loss. "We suffered a big injury last week as our up and coming RB Chris Carson was placed on IR, but like Coach Reid we preach the next man up philosophy" GM Justice VanHeche remarked.
6. Puff Puff Pass (1-3)
WHAT? The Puff's are this high?!? Led by 2 top 6 Wide receivers in Nelson and Hopkins GM Smokey The Bear was feeling confident after last weeks win "We turned this ship aground! Look for another strong performance this week after putting up a league high 132pts last week" The bear said "The 3/5rs better bring their A game this week!"
7. Slobb On My Cobb (2-2)
Last weeks game on National Television against the 3/5rs ended in a dud as the Cobbs only managed 60 points in a humiliating loss. "Need some better play out of our flex core, really shit down our leg last week" Coach Trupka said. The Cobbs face another tough matchup this week against the Killers.
8. Farve Dollar Footlongs (2-2)
Tough Times in Tampa as star rookie Dalvin Cook had part of his lower leg amputated after a freak wood chopping accident. "We are battered and bruised" Sinnika Murphy said "These next two weeks will determine whether we are buyers or sellers at the deadline" Unfortunately for the Footlongs they don't really have much to sell.
9. Prairie Village Porch Monkeys (3-1)
When asked to comment on his team GM Pearce Wilson simply responded with a poop emoji.....and he couldn't have said it any better. Despite being 3-1 this team has scored the 3rd fewest points and has been trending downward recently putting up a season low 50 pts last week.
10. Zipper Destroyers (1-3)
GM Matt Murphy is pulling out all the stops to turn this season around. When asked at his Tuesday Morning press conference about his team he did his best Mike Gundy impression by saying "I'm a man! Come after me! Leave the Kids alone!" Hopefully he can pull himself together to at least trade off some pieces for draft picks.
11. KKK (0-4)
Its still baseball season in the desert as GM Keane "Front Runner" Horner is now somehow a die hard D-Backs fan. Maybe they can get their first W of the season this week against the Darryls?
12. Deadbeat Darryls (1-3)
The Darryls GM has been placed on the IR but that still does not exempt him from PAYING HIS FUCKING DUES.
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