140 Miles East of Gods Country
The Tables Have Turned!
Longtime cellar dweller Jason Stanley may have the Killers on a championship path!
1. Keckism Killer (2-1)
After starting the year 12th in the Power Rankings the Keckism Killers have come charging out of the gate to take the top spot this week. Todd Girly and Devonta Freeman pose the best 1 2 RB punch in the league and the WR's have been good enough to keep lil Danny Amendola Chris Hogan riding the pine for now. The one weakness this team may have is their QB play. They are currently playing Musical Chairs with Eli and Stafford but need to settle on one to keep up their hot start. GM Boo Boo Stanley thinks otherwise "They each bring something to the table and we will continue to play who we think gives us the best chance to win this week".
2. Slobb On My Cobb (2-1)
2 Time champion (That's 2 times more than Jason) Tristan Trupka has another solid ball club this year scoring over 90 points in each of his first 3 games. If he would of started Demarco Murray last week they would of beat the Ditkas and taken over the top spot in the rankings. Despite lacking elite skill players GM Tristan Trupka may have found an inefficiency in the system to exploit by picking an elite D/ST and K and riding them all season.
3. Farve Dollar Footlongs (2-1)
While alot of GM's were already rosterbating GM Sven Murphy selected #3 ranked RB Chris Thompson with the 140th pick of the draft. "We knew he had excellent pass catching ability in an offense that uses screens and check downs often." Murphy said "In addition, we anticipated that an unproven backfield led by Rob Kelly and Samaje Perine could give a speedy and athletic youngster like Thompson an opportunity to earn more snaps". Throw in Dalvin Cook/OBJ/Brandin Cooks and this team should make a deep run in the postseason.
4. Raytown 3/5rs (2-1)
A crushing last second loss to their arch rivals in week 2 could of derailed their season but Coach Lady make sure all of her players were focused for week 3 "I pulled Kareem aside this week and let him know how much we needed him to refocus. Same with Kirk and Gronk, they all responded just as I expected and we kicked the shit out of the Destroyers". Week 4 brings a HUGE matchup against the #2 ranked Cobbs that is sure to have the fans in Raytown on their feet.
5. I Touchdown There (2-1)
Left for dead after David Johnson died in a freak accident during week 1 the Touchdowns came back to life the past 2 weeks averaging over 100 points per game. Stefon Diggs and Carlos Hyde let the team to a W last week and they face an easy challenge this week against the 0-3 KKK. I reached out to Touchdowns GM Shannon Brungardt to ask how she keeps her team focused during these pushover games "We have had a small taste of what the postseason is like. We didn't accomplish our goal last year and I remind them of that frequently. Our team remains focused each week and takes each game seriously. Any team is capable of beating you on any given day.... THAT IS WHY YOU PLAY THE GAME."
6. Prairie Village Monkeys (3-0)
Despite being the last unbeaten in the KSFBFFL some pundits are saying the Monkeys are nothing but FAKE NEWS, here at BWKNBNC we tend to agree. A high score of 83 pts after week 3 doesn't bode well for a deep playoff run and Antonio Brown is their only player ranked in the Top 10. GM Pearce McKinley does not seem fazed though "We get it. We have played like shit but we're 3-0, everyone else would kill to be 3-0 right now. We know we have some weaknesses but look for us to address them before the trade deadline"
7. Huge Ditkas (2-1)
The Ditkas pulled off a huge upset of the Cobbs last week behind an impressive 32pt performance from QB Russel Wilson. Things don't get any easier this week as they take on the #1 ranked Killers but GM Matthew Settles doesn't seem fazed "It will be a tough matchup for sure, but I am confident you will not say anything nice about the keckism killers so regardless of what I say you will come up with a good diss against them! I'm not scared!"
8. Zipper Destroyers (1-2)
Its only week 4 of the KSFBFFL season but the Destroyers have already gambled away their 5th and 6th round picks for next year and are on a 2 game losing streak. If we know 1 thing about Matt "The Dawg" Murphy its that he will not go down without a fight.
9. The Firechefs (2-1)
Things could be worse off ole Maple Drive but the Firechefs have somehow managed to win 2 games despite averaging less than 60 points a game and his best player is now kneeling for the national anthem. We reached out to GM Justin Van Keuser to see if he planned to shake up his roster to bring some life to his team "As a matter of fact, no. With the way our team has played we more than likely wont win another game this year"
10. Puff Puff Pass (0-3)
The Puffs have 3 top 10 players (Brees/Howard/Watkins) but have gotten off to a terrible start this year and may be looking to make some moves before the trade deadline approaches. "We are embarrassed by our performance and how it reflect on the newest member of our family" GM Austin Stuart said "We are giving it 1 more week, if we dont right this ship I'll be looking for draft picks and rebuilding for 2018".
11. Kaibob Kangol Krew (0-3)
The Krew seem to be having a hard time adjusting to their new home in the desert of Arizona but have slowly been getting better each week. "Life if pain, in a few weeks it will all be over" GM Keane Cheese remarked. If they can't win next week against the Touchdowns look for Rodgers and Melvin Gordon to elicit a frenzy of trade offers before the end of the year.
12. Pay Your God Dam Entry Fee (0-3)
It could be a down year for the reigning KSFBFFL champion Casey Wayne Walker as he recovers from a bulged disc in his back. "Its the worst thing. Imagine all day non stop no matter if you sit, stand r lay all you can feel is a sharp pain that throbs down your back down the leg to your ankle". Tough sledding for ole Wayne Walker, we can only hope he is treasuring his remaining moments with The Martin.
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