Week 3 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country

KSFBFFL WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

1. Mississippi Leg Hounds 2-0 – The Leg Hounds of Prairie Village are lighting up scoreboards this year averaging 123 points per game and that has Playboy Owner Pearce McKinney all hot and bothered “The Leg Hounds are feeling extremely optimistic about their hot start. If we can stay healthy I think it could be our year to cradle The Martin” McKinney said while slowly stroking his cat Ursala.
2. NE JoCo Garter Snakes 2-0 – The snakes have managed to stay undefeated despite piss poor QB play from Scam Newton. “Cam’s production has been disappointing so far this year” Head ball coach Ben Keck said while flexing shirtless into the mirror “Luckily for Garter Snake fans we have a young guy named Lamar Jackson who has been tearing it up and will be getting the start next week”.
3. Farve Dollar Footlongs 1-1 – 37 Points from the Patriots Defense??!?! Some pundits are saying these team is all smoke and mirrors and GM Sven Murphy agrees that some changes need to be made after a tough loss to the Touchdowns “Head Coach Charlie Murphy has now assumed play calling duties and co-GM Sinnikka Murphy has been stripped of all duties until she gains more experience” Murphy whispered “Now if you will excuse me its time for Sinnikka’s nightly foot massage and I cant be late”
4. Slobb On My Cobb 1-1 – Never doubt a proven GM like Jenny Trupka. A big win last week against the reeling dawgs has put the league on notice that the Cobbs expect another playoff season. “Zeke has really stepped up as a leader this year but its never too early to make a deal and everyone is for sale at the right price”  She said after putting tiny lil baby drake down in his crib. Could the Cobbs be looking to sell already? What?
5. Deadbeat Darryls 1-1 – Patrick Mahomes is going to put up video game numbers all season long and the Darryls will ride him harder than Kilmer rode Mox. “Boy needs to learn some toughness, tough love is still love” Coach Wayne said between spits of tobacco juice.
6. Texas Dawgs 1-1 – After a dominating week 1 performance the Dawgs put up a turd in Week 2 and may have lost RB James Conner for an extended amount of time. Will GM Pooch Murphy go into gunslinger mode and start making deals? “We are underperforming and need to figure out our TE position” Pooch said while drinking an old fashioned and smoking a black and mild.
7. Roughing The Kooch 1-1 – We caught up with first year coach Scotty Harris while he was watching his servant polish his yacht after getting shellacked by the Leg Hounds last week and he hopes to bounce back this week against Footlongs. “We are feeling good about our team despite the loss to the hounds and are looking at the bigger picture. Seasons are won and lost on the waiver wire so expect some transactions this week” he said before he started throwing silver dollars at homeless people.
8. Huge Ditkas 1-1 – A big win in week 2 against the Puff’s shows that the Ditkas are not ready to give up the Martin just yet. The big question is whether Kamara can keep his production up while Drew Bree’s is injured. “An easy win this week helped us gel and gave us confidence that we can be a contender again this year” defending champion Matt Settle said before going back to his game of blackjack.
9. I Touchdown There 1-1  – Coach Mike Gomez jetted off to Hawaii before the game last week and his team seemed to respond positively with a come back win against the footlongs.  He phoned into the weekly conference call with some insight “You know, I’m really not that great at this whole fantasy football things so I’m basically going to put it on AutoPilot and see what happens…That’s all I have to say, gotta run to Sonic!”
10. Keckism Killers 0-2 – You are starting Oaklands Backup RB….You are lucky to be ranked this high. Here is GM Aces Stanely in his own words (while chugging mountain dew) “We are not a good team”
11. Puff Puff Pass 1-1  – What the hell was that? After a 104pt week 1 showing the Puff’s put up a paltry 47 pts in week 2. With Drew Bree’s out for most of the season it may be time for Coach Meyers to start planning for next season “Terrible performance in week 2, long road ahead for the Puffs and our first priority is to figure out our QB situation” the coach said while eating a bag of Doritos.
12. The Firechefs 0-2 – At least you have some trade bait I guess? We knocked on the door of Head Coach Justin Van Heche for a comment but he just closed the blinds and pretended he wasn’t home.

2019 Season Preview / Week 1 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country

2019 KSFBFFL SEASON PREVIEW

(A group of KSBFFL Owners enjoy a leisurely boat ride 1 day before the draft)

First of all I would like to congratulate all the owners of the KSFBFFL for paying their dues before the season started. This year is a special season for the KSFBFFL as we celebrate the 10 year anniversary of the league. Before we preview our upcoming season lets take a moment to recognize our past champions. 

2009 - NE JoCo Garter Snakes (Ben Keck)
2010 - ***VACATED DUE TO TERRORIST ATTACK**
2011 - Turrible Tabernacle (Keane Cheese) - Franchise is now Roughing the Kooch
2012 - 50 Shades of Taint (Sven Murphy)
2013- The Firechiefs (Justin Van Heche)
2014 - Slobb On My Cobb (Tristan Trupka)
2015 - Slobb On My Cobb (Tristan Trupka) 
2016 - My Lucky Tate (Casey Wayne Walker)
2017 - Keckism Killers (Jason Stanley)
2018 - Huge Ditkas (Matt Settle)

Before we get to the power rankings lets hear from a representative of each team about how they are feeling about the upcoming season. 

Texas Dawgs Owner Matt Murphy – “Excited about the whole squad but I think we have the best running back trio and when you add a healthy Watson it’s a scary team. There’s really no weakness and there is some added depth which we haven’t had in recent memory. I’m predicting an 11-2 regular season and the #1 seed.”

Mississippi Leg Hounds assistant GM Pearce McKinney – “We feel really good about our teams talent and depth. I think we are a preseason Martin contender and should be favored nearly every game this season.”

Puff Puff Pass super fan Austin Meyers  – “We think this is the best team the puffs have put together since entering the league. We have lacked solid RB’s in the past but are feeling good this year and expecting at least an 8-5 regular season. Ironically team tight end could use some better tight ends, still work to be done.”

FireChefs GM Brooke Van Heche – “The draft didn’t fall quite like we wanted it to. That being said we think we are set to finish around .500 and squeak into the playoffs where anything can happen. Look for Darrel Guice to breakout this year and be a top 10 back.”

Slobb On My Cobb VP of Player Personnel Tucker Trupka – “We knew going in this was a rebuilding year so we drafted the roster accordingly. Zeke is very close to a deal with the Cobb’s and will be a factor in week 1. Considering where we are at today, 7-6 and squeaking into the playoffs is going to be our goal this year. Talk to anyone but the Ditka’s and you will understand the Cobb’s are a formidable opponent in the month of December.”

Huge Ditka’s GM Matt “Button” Settles – “The Ditkas have some fresh faces this year and are excited about our young talent and 60 year old Kicker. We are ready to defend the Martin and have another stellar season.”

Keckism Killers owner Boo Boo Stanley – “Heeeeyyyy Benjamin”

NE JoCo Garter Snakes Coach Lady – “WOOF, WOOF WOOF BARK, BARK BARK WOOF (We’re the best, forever, nothing ever going to hold us back)”

Farve Dollar Footlongs Co-Owner Sinnika Murphy – “My husband told me that Damien Williams was a steal in the 3^rd round but I’m pretty sure that Shady McCoy is going to steal a lot of his touches. I think we should add some more depth and pickup Terrel Owens if he is still available, would definitely help us to 13-0”

Roughing the Pooches Coach Scott Harris – “Mr. Keck. My media team will contact you when I’m not so intoxicated” (His media team never reached out)

I Touchdown There Assistant Water Boy Mike Brungy – "The Touchdownsare feeling very good about this season. We finally have all the pieces in place for a deep run. Look out for Nick Chubb this year, he has a chip on his shoulder after hearing Kareem may take over after his suspension. I'm conservatively predicting a 10-3 record for us this year"

Deadbeat Darryls season ticket holder Chuck Walker – “We ride and die with my guy Mahomes. If Fournette can put together a decent season and David Montgomery has the breakout year we are expecting there is no reason we cant go 10-3 and make a run at The Martin.

1. Huge Ditkas – To be the best you have to beat the best so the Ditka’s start off the year on top. Unfortunately for them I don’t see much Talent on their roster besides Kamara.
2. Texas Dawgs - The Dawgs finally learned how to acquire draft picks instead of trading them and have what some are calling the best backfield in the league with Watson/Gurley/Conner/Freeman. 
3. NE JoCo Garter Snakes – If Dalvin Cook and Cameron Newton stay healthy this team will be a force to be reckoned with in December.
4. Mississippi Leg Hounds – The Leghounds are primed for a bounceback season on the back on Kelce and David Johnson.
5. Deadbeat Darryls – If Mahomes performs like he is expected (60 TD’s 6,000yds) this team will win the Martin.
6. The Firechefs – Rumor has it coach Van Heche is moving to New England this season to camp outside of Josh Gordons house to keep him away from the weed.
7. I Touchdown There – Look for Tyreek to stay out of trouble and keep this team in the playoff picture.
8. Puff Puff Pass – Team Tight End is now Team QB with 3 currently on the roster (Bree’s/Rapelisberger/Trubisky). If Drake and Bell stay healthy this is a playoff team.
9. Farve Dollar Footlongs – Would not surprise me is Christian McCaffrey is on the trading block by week 4.
10. Keckism Killers – Auto Draft? Does he even care?
11. Slobb On My Cobb – Team Boom or Bust is looking like a bust right now but never count out a seasoned owner like Jenny Trupka.
12. Roughing The Kooch - The Kooches inaugural season in the KSFBFFL may be a rough one but at least it won't be as rough as the time owner Scott Harris got punched in the face by a girl then convinced Justin and I that he got jumped and then we went over to fight them but found out scott walked into the wrong house and tried to kick everyone out which led to him getting punched in the face by a girl.