KSFBFFL WEEK 11 POWER RANKINGS
1. F*vre Dollar Footlongs (9-1)
The Footlongs cruised to an easy victory over the Lake Rats last week to claim the top spot in the prestigious BWKNBNC power rankings. "We brought in Mr. F*vre last week as a guest speaker and our team responded to his words and complimentary green and white crocs to be worn in our state of the art massage therapy center...We even added a certain QB who used to live in Houston to give us some tips on how to improve our massage therapy center and provide some depth for the playoffs".
2. The Firechiefs (8-2)
Firechiefs owner Millie Vanillie has no recollection of her teams last title but knows that she will stop at nothing to keep that chauvinistic prick Sven Murphy from winning another title "That man is everything that is wrong with our Patriarchal sexist society and I plan to END HIM...We are going to keep our nose to the grindstone until we win The Martin then we will promptly destroy the trophy and replace it with a gender neutral ribbon".
3. PV Football Club (8-2)
After putting the hapless Keckism Killers in their place last weekend the Football Club faces a key test against the Ditkas this week. Owner Pearce Pearce Wilson was not concerned about his matchup last week "The Killers are but a leaf in our way, we brushed them aside and are focused on securing a first round bye in our pursuit to hold the martin for a second time"
4. Two Gurleys One Kupp (5-5)
The Kupps are on a 3 game winning streak and led all teams in points scored last week. We caught up with GM Lady Keck out at the Keck Autonomous Zone last weekend where she was pouring over game film while her owner drank beer and cried about his lack of success at killing birds "The further that fuck head Ben is away from my team the better, next thing you know he is going to trade our next 3 first round draft picks for Deshaun Watson in hopes of getting some insight on how to arrange massages".
5. Huge Ditkas (6-4)
Despite having the second highest point total last week the Ditkas fell to the juggernaut that is the Kupp's. Recently married owner Matt Settle has come to a sobering conclusion "Maybe I should cheat more, on my wife, in fantasy football, in life in general...if you aint first your last". Somber words from a man broken by crushing defeat.
6. Puff Puff Pass (5-5)
While Owner Puff Meyers team is reeling in the KSFBFFL he is living HIGH on the hog in the real world. "The Puffs locker room went a little too hard after the passage of amendment 3 last week. Injuries and Bye weeks will be a challenge this week against the Ditkas but we plan to finish the season strong"
7. Keckism Killers (4-6)
The Killers are focused on one thing and one thing only "We just need to be a little bit better then the Puffs. If we can get into the dance then I can steal anyone's girl". Bold words from the Big Ma(c)n.
8. I Touchdown There (4-6)
Despite being 1 game under .500 and facing the PATHETIC Lake Rats this week Touchdown's owner Mike Gomez has decided to throw in the towel. "I have instructed Coach Coop to tank for a better draft pick, play all the shittiest players, it doesn't matter"
9. Roughing the Kooch (4-6)
Editors Note - I forgot to text Scotty for his comment so I will update once I hear back from him
10. Dem in Dementia (3-7)
The Dawgs have been living on borrowed time for years trading away draft picks for players but that has changed this year according to Alpha Dawg Matt Murphy (who is afraid of New Orleans) "We plan to finish the season breaking hearts and spoiling dreams. We have hit the rebuild button when we traded Tyreek and Mixon for some draft picks. We've realized this day would come for a while but we just kept winning so the rebuild has been put on pause until now"
11. Cleveland Steamers (3-7)
Even though they only scored 69 points last week (Nice!) GM Tucker Trupka is still optimistic about his squads chances saying "So your telling me there is a chance?!? We are the team of miracles".
12. Lake Rats (1-9)
Its been a rough year out at Lake Lottawana and GM Rattlesnake Wayne is pulling out all the excuses "Go look at my IR and all the injuries on my team. We never stood a chance".
