Week 12 Power Rankings

WEEK 12 POWER RANKINGS

BREAKING NEWS-

BWKNBNC has learned that reigning champion Matt Murphy has recently sold his team to "The Dawg".  The Speculation that has always circled around the KC Brosmers regarding who the true owner is has finally been put to rest. 

So what do we know about this mystery figure simply called "The Dawg"? Well not much, a quick google search shows that he is a playboy millionaire who was last spotted in the boom boom room of the B-Slider.

We reached out to Matthew Murphy who confirmed that "The Dawg" has bought the team and will be renaming them "The Penn Valley Pooches". Mr Murphy had no other news for us but speculated the roster would stay intact.

END BREAKING NEWS-

The Cano's hold on the the top spot but have been floundering of late. We reached out to GM Sven Murphy last week to ask about his teams recent woes.

1. How do the recent injuries to Peavy and Strasburg effect your attempt at a championship

The injuries to JP and Sven are very minor A DL stint for the two youngsters ensures their arms will be fresh for games that matter. Expect them both the be back in the lineup soon.(Editors note, Peavy was waived right after the comment)

2. Any truth both pitchers were injured in a locker room fight over a case of natty?

As for the fight we are taking away the clubhouse video games until the all star break. Too much gambling fighting and childish activity has been going on lately.

3. How many games in a row can you lose before you decide a drastic change is needed?

The cano's have hit a tough stretch, yes, but we have a championship demeanor that is instilled in every one of your players. Look for leaders like Robbie Cano, Justin Upton(since traded) and CC Sabatia to step up.

4. Any truth to the rumors your namesake Robbie Cano is on the trading block?

Cano is our franchise player and is going nowhere. End of comments.

Here is this week’s Power Rankings

 "STUD'S"

1. Paddle Your Own Cano (7-3) - Sven Murphy

The Cano's have not been as impressive as they were at the start of the year squeaking out a 17 point win over the floundering Blanco's. With 2 starters on the DL GM Sven Murphy decided to shake things up by acquiring Zacko the Wacko from the elephants. Tough match up this week against the scorching hot Fisters.

2. Rebel Yell (6-4) – Ben “10 for 10” Keck

League High 426 pts last week put a damper on the HBT's attempts at a comeback 

The key player of the week was Kyle Lohse who rejoined the team Sunday morning and put up an impressive 33 pt performance after being relegated to the waiver wire for 1 month.

3. Furbush Fisters (6-4) – Juice Christine

After starting the year 0-3 the Fisters have been tearing up buttholes left and right including their latest victim Crocs in Florida. Mike Minor and Shelby Miller both had solid weeks to lead the Fisters to their latest victory.

We reached out to GM Brook Van Heche to see if she had any comments about allegations regarding PED's like Steroids and Amphetamines being handed out like candy on Halloween. Brook was visibly upset by the allegations and refused to comment.

4. Billy Buttlicks (6-4) - Schoon McGoon

The Buttlicks cruised to an easy 70 point victory over the Elephants while putting up 398 points. There is nothing flashy about this team but with the recent addition of Yasiel Puig to an offense already featuring Trumbo this team has the look of a contender.

"PUD'S"

No dud's this week as we still have a clusterfuck at the bottom.

5 . Crocs In Florida (4-6)- Allan Baird

The Crocs have been hot recently but had an off week putting up a measly 309 points in their latest matchup. David Ortiz came through again but his 35 points were almost wiped out by a -24 effort by Ian Kennedy.

  

6. Prairie Village Predators (5-5) - Old Man River

The Predators have been slumping lately but they still sit at 5-5. With the harvest season starting soon expect to see Old Man River spend more time tending his garden then his baseball squad.

7. Los Gringos Blancos (4-6) – Cheese Horner

The Blanco's drop to 4-6 after losing a heart breaker to the 1st place Cano's. We reached out to GM Cheese Horner but he could not be reached for comment after consuming 2 lbs of montery jack while on a monday night bender.

8. Penn Valley Pooches (4-6) – The Dawg

New ownership brings deep pockets to the Penn Valley Pooches. We tried to reach out to The Dawg tonight but he had jumped the fence and all his voice mail said was "Dawg out chasing bitches, leave a message at the WOOF WOOF BARK"

9. Hidden Ball Tricks (4-6) – Pearce McKinney

The HBT's put up the second highest point total last week but still got the L after running into the buzz saw that is REBEL YELL.

Despite their recent showing I'm not sold the on the HBT's chances, they still have the lowest season point total.

10. Team Elephant(4-6) – Wayne Walker

While the Elephants are not terrible someone needs to be in last and this week it is the Elephants.

The season is never over for GM Wayne Walker who recently traded his Pitching Keeper from last year Zacko The Wacko. We reached out to Wayne about some recent unpaid rent at his soon to be former residence but could not get ahold of him