Week 4 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country

The Tables Have Turned!

Longtime cellar dweller Jason Stanley may have the Killers on a championship path!

1. Keckism Killer (2-1)

After starting the year 12th in the Power Rankings the Keckism Killers have come charging out of the gate to take the top spot this week. Todd Girly and Devonta Freeman pose the best 1 2 RB punch in the league and the WR's have been good enough to keep lil Danny Amendola Chris Hogan riding the pine for now. The one weakness this team may have is their QB play. They are currently playing Musical Chairs with Eli and Stafford but need to settle on one to keep up their hot start. GM Boo Boo Stanley thinks otherwise "They each bring something to the table and we will continue to play who we think gives us the best chance to win this week". 

2. Slobb On My Cobb (2-1)

2 Time champion (That's 2 times more than Jason) Tristan Trupka has another solid ball club this year scoring over 90 points in each of his first 3 games. If he would of started Demarco Murray last week they would of beat the Ditkas and taken over the top spot in the rankings. Despite lacking elite skill players GM Tristan Trupka may have found an inefficiency in the system to exploit by picking an elite D/ST and K and riding them all season. 

3. Farve Dollar Footlongs (2-1)

While alot of GM's were already rosterbating GM Sven Murphy selected #3 ranked RB Chris Thompson with the 140th pick of the draft. "We knew he had excellent pass catching ability in an offense that uses screens and check downs often." Murphy said "In addition, we anticipated that an unproven backfield led by Rob Kelly and Samaje Perine could give a speedy and athletic youngster like Thompson an opportunity to earn more snaps". Throw in Dalvin Cook/OBJ/Brandin Cooks and this team should make a deep run in the postseason. 

4. Raytown 3/5rs (2-1)

A crushing last second loss to their arch rivals in week 2 could of derailed their season but Coach Lady make sure all of her players were focused for week 3 "I pulled Kareem aside this week and let him know how much we needed him to refocus. Same with Kirk and Gronk, they all responded just as I expected and we kicked the shit out of the Destroyers". Week 4 brings a HUGE matchup against the #2 ranked Cobbs that is sure to have the fans in Raytown on their feet. 

5. I Touchdown There (2-1)

Left for dead after David Johnson died in a freak accident during week 1 the Touchdowns came back to life the past 2 weeks averaging over 100 points per game. Stefon Diggs and Carlos Hyde let the team to a W last week and they face an easy challenge this week against the 0-3 KKK. I reached out to Touchdowns GM Shannon Brungardt to ask how she keeps her team focused during these pushover games "We have had a small taste of what the postseason is like. We didn't accomplish our goal last year and I remind them of that frequently. Our team remains focused each week and takes each game seriously. Any team is capable of beating you on any given day.... THAT IS WHY YOU PLAY THE GAME."

6. Prairie Village Monkeys (3-0)

Despite being the last unbeaten in the KSFBFFL some pundits are saying the Monkeys are nothing but FAKE NEWS,  here at BWKNBNC we tend to agree. A high score of 83 pts after week 3 doesn't bode well for a deep playoff run and Antonio Brown is their only player ranked in the Top 10. GM Pearce McKinley does not seem fazed though "We get it. We have played like shit but we're 3-0, everyone else would kill to be 3-0 right now. We know we have some weaknesses but look for us to address them before the trade deadline" 

7. Huge Ditkas (2-1)

The Ditkas pulled off a huge upset of the Cobbs last week behind an impressive 32pt performance from QB Russel Wilson. Things don't get any easier this week as they take on the #1 ranked Killers but GM Matthew Settles doesn't seem fazed "It will be a tough matchup for sure, but I am confident you will not say anything nice about the keckism killers so regardless of what I say you will come up with a good diss against them! I'm not scared!"

8. Zipper Destroyers (1-2)

Its only week 4 of the KSFBFFL season but the Destroyers have already gambled away their 5th and 6th round picks for next year and are on a 2 game losing streak. If we know 1 thing about Matt "The Dawg" Murphy its that he will not go down without a fight. 

9. The Firechefs (2-1)

Things could be worse off ole Maple Drive but the Firechefs have somehow managed to win 2 games despite averaging less than 60 points a game and his best player is now kneeling for the national anthem. We reached out to GM Justin Van Keuser to see if he planned to shake up his roster to bring some life to his team "As a matter of fact, no. With the way our team has played we more than likely wont win another game this year"

10. Puff Puff Pass (0-3)

The Puffs have 3 top 10 players (Brees/Howard/Watkins) but have gotten off to a terrible start this year and may be looking to make some moves before the trade deadline approaches. "We are embarrassed by our performance and how it reflect on the newest member of our family" GM Austin Stuart said "We are giving it 1 more week, if we dont right this ship I'll be looking for draft picks and rebuilding for 2018". 

11. Kaibob Kangol Krew (0-3)

The Krew seem to be having a hard time adjusting to their new home in the desert of Arizona but have slowly been getting better each week. "Life if pain, in a few weeks it will all be over" GM Keane Cheese remarked. If they can't win next week against the Touchdowns look for Rodgers and Melvin Gordon to elicit a frenzy of trade offers before the end of the year. 

12. Pay Your God Dam Entry Fee (0-3)

It could be a down year for the reigning KSFBFFL champion Casey Wayne Walker as he recovers from a bulged disc in his back. "Its the worst thing. Imagine all day non stop no matter if you sit, stand r lay all you can feel is a sharp pain that throbs down your back down the leg to your ankle". Tough sledding for ole Wayne Walker, we can only hope he is treasuring his remaining moments with The Martin. 

Week 1 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of God's Country

K-States Finest Bro's Fantasy Football League Week One Power Rankings. 

(Three Fifthers superfan Carrie Underwood get the crowd hyped)

1. My Lucky Tates 

To be the champ you have to beat the champ. Few people expected much out of the Tates last year but coach Casey Wayne Walker pulled off a late season stretch that culminated with him raising The Martin above his head. Despite trading a couple of draft picks and picking at the end of the 1st round the Tates look surprisingly formidable this year. With 7 of 9 starters ranked in the Top 10 of their position the Tates could go BACK to BACK. 

2. Kaibab Kangol Krew

After making the postseason his first 5 years former KSFBFFL Champion Keene Cheese has decided to relocate his Franchise to the sandy shores of Arizona after missing the playoffs 2 of the past 3 years. When asked about his team this year....well I'll just let you read it. 

Mark him down for a 10-3 season with a first round bye. 

3. Raytown 3/5rs

2016 was a bounce back year for the 3/5rs as they found a welcoming home in the bustling metropolis of Raytown. While the season ended in a semifinal loss the 2017 3/5rs welcome back Michael Evans, Kirk Cousins, and Ameer Addullah to a star studded roster. "I'm real proud of what we accomplished last year but at the end of the day we didn't achieve the goal we set for ourselves" GM Ben Ji said. "We decided to let Matt Ryan enter Free Agency after his super bowl meltdown and look forward to seeing what Kirk Cousins can do with the keys to the car"

4. Slobb on My Cobb

Before last year The Martin had resided in KCMO for 2 consecutive years as the Cobb's started a Mini Dynasty. The Cobbs came crashing down to reality in 2016 with a 2-11 record but some owners were whispering that GM Tuck Tuck was playing 3D chess and tanking the season for the #1 Pick. "We had some technical difficulties before the draft but I'd say everything went as planned"Tuck said. "Look for big years out of Tyreek and CJ as they plan on running wild against the AFC West". 

5. Puff Puff Pass  

Loaded with draft picks the Pass's will look to come out swinging for the fences in 2017. Led by Super Studly Jordy Nelson and ageless Wonder Drew Brees the Puff Puff's should put up some points this year.  A tough week 1 match up against 2 time champ Slobb On My Cobb will be a good litmus test for how far this squad can go this year. 

6. Zipper Destroyers 

Newly minted Texan Matt Murphy felt good about his draft saying “I think we did well on draft day. You can always do better and there were a few that slipped through our fingers but we scouted and targeted each draftee knowing they would be a good fit”. Unfortunately the only place his roster fits is in a Jail Cell with Zeke and the Muscle Hamster both starting the year out on suspension. While he waits for those players to be released from Jail he will be relying on another former criminal who just got out, Joe Mixon, and old timer Frank Gore. “Joe is a youngster with plenty of upside” the Al Davis of the KSFBFFL said, “And Frank, well you know what you’re gonna get with Frank and it is a solid interim fit that provides veteran leadership”.

7. I Touchdown There

The Touchdowns had a breakout season in 2016 scoring the most overall points and making the playoffs for the first time since their inaugural season in 2012. David Johnson returns for another year and GM Mike Gomez plans to build the team around him "Draft day went great! Really please with the group we got to put around DJ". When asked about how he intends to follow up last years performance he responded "I believe our team has a great opportunity to make a deep run this year. Gonna be a long season, we will have to weather the injuries and all that comes with playing 16 games. Touchdowns are taking home the trophy!"

8. The Firechefs

Former Champ Justin Van Heche fell 1 game short last year and seems a little deflated this year saying “Eh, I feel pretty shitty about my team”. “My season boils down to Marcus Mariota having a breakout year along with an old man (Adrian Peterson) and a fat man (Eddie Lacey)” he continued. Here at BWKNBNC we feel that if 2 of those 3 can have top 10 seasons to go along with LeVeontric Bell and Travis Kelce the Firechefs will be sitting pretty in December.

9. PV Monkeys

Pearce “Andre” McKinney had a rough draft day when he spent his 8^th round pick on Cameron Merideth who had torn his ACL earlier in the day “Fortunately we had some extra picks” he said. Those extra picks did land him Matt Ryan who will enjoy slinging the ball around to Antonio Brown this year and Mckinney says to keep an eye out for the white guy “We think Mr Christian McCaffrey will be a breakout rookie. He’s got a great bloodline and we have him penciled into the starting role in a strong offense”.

10. Farve Dollar Footlongs 

With no 4^th round pick this year GM Sven Murphy had to reach for some young guys with Potential but will rely on 2 top 10 receivers from last year (Cooks and Beckham). “Look for big numbers out of our “Core Four” – Including what we are calling “The law Firm” in Cook & Cooks who along with Beckham and TE Hunter Henry” he proclaimed. It’s hard to doubt the most successful Fantasy GM in the History of the KSFBFFL but with the current lineup just making the playoffs would be a successful season.

11. Huge Ditkas

"I learned a-lot in my First Season as a KSFBFFL Owner" Second Year GM Matthew Settles remarked. "Like, did you know that longer field goals are worth more points??! I spent the first 6 weeks thinking ESPN was making an error and didn't want to tell anyone and lose the extra points". Despite this rudimentary understanding of the game Settles led the Ditkas to an 8-5 record last year and a playoff berth. When Russell Wilson is the highest ranked position player on your team you can expect some regression in 2017. 

12. Keckism Killers

It was a rough year last year and the Killers of Keckism are feeling the heat from their fans after a dismal 5-8 season. "I mean, we just aren't very good even though we try hard" SuperFan Gene from Moline(IL) said. "I've been a die-hard since that Magical year back in 2014 when we went 11-2 but the last 2 years have been pure and utter shit". With disappointing RB Todd Girly back on the Roster and a 38 year Old Marshawn Lynch suiting up don't expect tears of Joy to be streaming from Gene's eyes anytime soon.