Week 2 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 East of Gods Country

Week 2 KSFBFFL Power Rankings

This weeks top spot belongs to the West Canaan Coyotes led by reclusive owner Sir Harrison W Poole. This picture, taken on the French Riviera (Ozarks) in 2006, is the last known sighting of Sir Poole. There are many rumors about his current whereabouts including leaving to fight ISIS as a one man wrecking ball, in hiding due to his chronic masturbatory syndrome or possibly just living a normal post-grad life in Prairie Village. One thing is for sure, the Coyotes are the team to beat in 2014.

Here at BWKNonBlogNewsCorp we make it a point to cover every story in depth so we reached out to Sir Harrison W Poole's secretary and were granted a brief interview with the man, the myth, the legend.

Are you surprised by your teams success so far this year?

In West Canaan, Football is a way of life - We always expect good results. 

I noticed that Ray Rice is still on your ball club, are you making a statement that you support beating women?

We will refrain from commenting on the Ray Rice situation, the league has our full support.

Julian Thomas has been a complete stud this year. How were you able to acquire him AND a second round pick for Marshawn Lynch last year?

Julius Thomas was a great acquisition last year. It takes a keen eye to recognize talent at an early point in a players career - Some organizations have it and some obviously do not.

Any predictions on how this year turns out?

I'm not one to make bold declarations but let me tell you this. We have the most talent we've had since Tweeter/Billy Bob/Wendell and Mox graced the sidelines back in 99. 



1. West Canaan Coyotes (2-0)

After week 2 the Coyotes are the only undefeated team left thanks to herculean performances by Jordy Nelson(26 Points) and Giovani Bernard (22 Points). Their trade of Marshawn Lynch last season keeps paying dividends as Julio Thomas caught another touchdown pass last week.

2. Raw Dawg (1-1)

The Dawgs put up 100 points last week but ended up with an L after the usually solid Seahawks DST scored -3 points. Antonio Gates had a breakout game scoring 27 point while Chris Johnson had another sub-par performance putting up a measly 2 points. Look for the dawgs to rebound next week against Puff Puff Pass.

3. Dixieland 3/5rs (1-1)

The 3/5rs were sweating out their match up against the defending champion Firechefs until late Sunday night when Brandon Marshall caught his third TD. RB Darren Sproles looks to be the steal of the draft (7th Round) as he currently leads all RB's in points. GM Ben Keck has decided to take a vacation to Gods Country instead of prep for next weeks game saying "Come on, we're playing Wayne, Lady could set my lineup from the waiver wire and we would still win"

4. PV Porch Monkeys (1-1)

The Porch Monkeys have rocketed up the rankings this week after scoring 107 in a upset of the Dawgs. The PM's could of scored even more but opted to leave Phillis Rivers 24 points on the bench after taking advice from a GM without much success(Jason Stanley). The monkeys are still waiting for some production from #14 overall pick Doug Martin and may be looking to acquire a running back to start some competition.

5. Keckism Killers (1-1)

Speaking of Jason Stanley the Killers check in at #5 this week after a respectable showing in week two. The Killers are hoping to stay in the hunt long enough to get Josh Gordon back in week 11....to make it that far they will need to find a better flex option as Marquise ColdStoneCreamery scored 0 points last week.

6. Slob On My Cobb (1-1)

The Cobb's didn't play bad last week but could of used Kniles Davis's 21 points to get the W. With Jamaal Charlie out for at least a couple of weeks the Cobbs are looking to ride the hot, black and sweaty, back of Kniles Davis for a couple of weeks. (CO-GM Jenny Trupka just fainted)

7. Puff Puff Pass (1-1)

The Pass's rebounded from a week one loss by bukakking the Keckism Killers with a solid performance by the entire team. 5 different players scored in double digits including Darren Sproles Backup, LeSean McCoy, who put up 15 points in garbage time work. They have a tough matchup next week against but dawgs but feel they are up to it saying "Maple syrup man! These Canucks can't get enough of it!"

8. Polygamy Pounders (1-1)

The Pounders aren't back to their normal championship form yet (Possibly due to the above 3.2 beer Cheese's parents smuggled into Utah) but they were able to squeak a win out over the Taints last week despite an injury to starting QB Roberto Griffinte. The pounders will need Colin Kapernick to step up if they want to keep this mini win streak going.

9. 50 Shades of Taint (1-1) 

The taints lost in heart wrenching fashion last week but some analysts are saying its god's way of punishing them for Harboring Child Abusing Pieces of Shit on their Roster. The Taints have no choice but to accept and coddle Adrian Peterson, who was recently arrested on a felony warrant for child abuse, now that Ben Tate and Mark Ingram are injured. When reached for a comment GM Sven Murphy simply said "I don't care how many Children he beats, just get in the dam endzone every sunday. Just win baby."

10. I Touchdown There (1-1)

Well lookie here...one week after scoring 120 Points to take down the 3/5rs the Touchdowns can only muster a lousy 55 points in a loss to the dreadful Tates. Eat a dick brungy.

11. My Lucky Tate (1-1) 

Despite winning the cripple fight against the Touchdowns last week the Tate's are still a god awful football team. With Jamaal Charles hitting the IR about as much as Adrian Peterson hits his child this could be another long year at lake lottawana.

12. FireChefs (0-2)

From First to Worst? GM Juice VanHeche don't care, telling the haters "Talk to me when you win a title". Recent news coming out of the group home on 73rd Ter is that the FireChefs could be in fire sale mode by week 5.

2014 Week 1 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country

KSFBFFL Power Rankings

Look at this Smug Sack of Shit. Despite selecting STEVEN JACKSON as his keeper he knew he would have no problem in his week one match up against the Dixieland 3/5rs. In the Three years since he has joined the league The Touchdowns have come out swinging on week one scoring 102, 120 and 114 points, all victories over the Dixieland 3/5rs.

We reached out to Douchebag Micheal to ask him a couple of questions.

What do you attribute your success in week one to?

"I attribute our early success to our preparation in the off season and hard work during training camp. We made a couple moves in the draft that allowed us to better leverage our strengths and as you can see its working out well for us so far"

Was there any household Pressure to select Steven Jackson as your keeper? Some sources have reported links between Shannon Brundgart and Steven Jackson as a possible reason for the bizarre keeper selection.

"There was no pressure from the Boss to keep Jackson, those rumors are untrue and have no basis in reality. We think he still has alot of positives that he can contribute to our team and we are excited to see him on the field next week."

The Touchdowns looked like world beaters last week, how do you think they will fair this season?

The sky is the limit this year. We really think that after feeling out the league for the first couple of seasons and making the playoffs one of those years we are ready to take home the hardware. Its a long season though.....Staying healthy is a big part of success so talk to me again in 12 weeks and we will see. Just have to keep sawing wood. Speaking of wood I gotta run, the boss woman is ovulating and needs some attention if you know what I mean (Winks and walks away)"



1. I Touchdown There (1-0)

Scoring a KSFBFFL high 115 points in week one puts the touchdowns at the top spot in the inaugural power rankings. The Touchdowns have a formidable threesome in QB Matt Ryan/RB LeVon Bell/TE Vernon Davis that should keep them in most games. If the touchdowns want to hold on to the top spot throughout the season they will need some more production from Fred Jackson and Larry Fitzgerald.

2. West Canaan Coyotes (1-0)

The Coyotes owner Harrison Poole traded the farm last season and appears to be reaping the benefits. In a sport that puts emphasis on productive RB's no one in the KSFBFFL can match this teams depth at Running back(Matt Forte/Reggie Bush/Giovani Bernard/Knowshon Moreno). A top end QB may be the only thing holding this team back from a championship, look for one of these backs to be dealt by mid season. We reached out to GM Harrison Poole who told us "Anything can happen".

3. Raw Dawgs (1-0)

Locking up the 3 spot this week are the Dawgs who thoroughly dismantled the storied Polygamy Pounders in week one. The Dawgs are led by a pair of Mile High Studs(Manning/Ball) and a solid cast of surrounding characters.

4. Slobb on my Cobb (1-0)

The Cobbs are another team that has benefited from the new rules allowing draft picks to be traded as they crushed the Lucky Tate's last week. Matthew Stafford and Marshawn Lynch (Combined 53 points) may be the best QB/RB combo in the league. If the Cobbs can get solid production from Andre Ellington/Torrey Smith/Alshon Jeffery this season could be special. GM Tristan Trupka already has a planned for increased production from those three saying simply "Lashings".

5. Dixieland 3/5r's (0-1)

Despite scoring 95 points last week the 3/5rs were once again crushed in week one by the Touchdowns. 4th round pick Cam Newton should return next week to give the 3/5rs a lift in their match up against he defending champs. A RB core that was questioned going into the year had a solid showing in week one. GM Ben Keck plans to keep "Chopping wood" and stay focused on "Getting a little better every day".

6. 50 Shades of Taint (1-0)

The Taints pulled out a W last week but didn't look very impressive in their 84-68 win over the Puff's. Steven Murphy doesn't seem concerned about Adrian Peterson and Dez Bryant's lack of production saying "I take full Responsibility, I didn't get the ball in their hands enough. But, ultimately a W was first on our list and we accomplished that". RB Carlos Hyde was a bright spot on the bench and could become a starter by mid season.

7. Keckism Killers (1-0)

Is this the year the Killers break their championship drought? Team owner Jason Jones certainly thinks so saying "If the 3/5rs can win back to back titles, WHY NOT US??!?" Unfortunately for the Killers they lacked championship form while sleepwalking to a W over the PV Porch monkeys. If the Killers are for real about competing for a championship they will need some more production from Aaron Rodgers and their WR's.

8. Polygamy Pounders (0-1)

The Pounders have been a model of consistency by reaching the playoffs every year since they relocated to Utah but could this be the year they miss the cut? Injuries to RB Eddie Lacy and Toby Gerhart have the Pounders scrounging the waiver wire for replacements.


9. FireChefs (0-1)

Championship Hangover maybe? GM Juice VanKueser agree's saying "We have a bad team this year. The owner was drunk when he drafted...luckily the championship bought me at least 5 years with the fans so I can afford a shitty season. Hell just look at the 3/5r's, they haven't won a title since Prince was a coach and their fans still show up". Cordelle Patterson looks to be a great selection but may have his production canceled out by a slumping Zac Stacy.

10. PV Porch Monkeys (0-1)

Speaking of championship game hangovers the Monkeys certainly looked uninspired in their week one loss to the Killers. If the Monkeys want to compete for a championship again this year they are going to need more production from the #14 overall pick Doug Martin who scored 0 points last week.

11. Puff Puff Pass (0-1)

The Puff's shocked the world last year with a 3rd place finish but seem to have lost their way putting up a measly 68 points in a week one loss to the taints. The Puff's have the talent to compete but need to avoid starting 0-4 before getting WR Wes Welker back from suspension.

12. My Lucky Tate (0-1)

The Tate's vowed that this year would be different, they were a changed team and had a responsible married GM at the helm...Unfortunately things looked the same as always in week one.  QB Andrew Luck was the only player in double digits and Jamaal Charles only scored 2 points.

2014 All Time Standings

KSFBFFL All Time Standings

Its here boys! Drop your cocks and grab your socks, its football(fantasy) time!

With a mere 24 hours before the 2014 KSFBFFL draft lets take a look at the all time rankings. 

Wins (W-L)

1.       Steve Murphy – 43-22

2.       Keane Horner – 41-24

3.       Justin Vanhecke – 37-28

4.       Jason Stanley – 32-33

5.       Matt Murphy – 29-23

6.       Ben Keck – 28-37

7.       Pearce McKinley – 25-27

8.       Harrison Poole – 22-43

9.       Tristan Trupka – 19-33

         Casey Walker – 16-23

         Austin Meyers – 13-13^

         Mike Brungardt – 12-14^

Win %

1.       Steve Murphy – .662

2.       Keane Horner – .631

3.       Justin VanHecke – .569

4.       Matt Murphy – .558

5.       Austin Meyers – .500

6.       Jason Stanley – .492

7.       Pearce McKinley – .481

8.       Mike Brungardt – .462

9.       Ben Keck – .431

        Casey Walker – .410

        Tristan Trupka – .365

        Harrison Poole – .338

No surprise here folks, Sven Murphy and Cheese Horner are the cream of the crop when it comes to winning. The big surprise is how shitty 2009 KSFBFFL champion Ben Ji Keck has sucked ass recently, .431??? Woof.

Total Points

1.       Keane Horner – 6,156

2.       Justin VanHecke – 5,969

3.       Steve Murphy – 5,851

4.       Jason Stanley – 5,645

5.       Ben Keck – 5,608

6.       Harrison Poole – 5,017

7.       Pearce McKinley – 4,708

8.       Matt Murphy – 4,663

9.       Tristan Trupka – 4,255

        Casey Walker – 3,416

       Austin Meyers – 2,208

        Mike Brungardt – 2,175

Total Points (Per Year Avg.)

1.       Keane Horner – 1,231

2.       Justin VanHecke – 1,193

3.       Pearce McKinley – 1,177

4.       Steve Murphy – 1,170

5.       Matt Murphy – 1,166

6.       Casey Walker – 1,139

7.       Jason Stanley – 1,129

8.       Ben Keck – 1,122

9.       Austin Meyers – 1,104

        Mike Brungardt – 1,088

        Tristan Trupka – 1,064

        Harrison Poole – 1,003

Points Against (Per Year Avg.)

1.       Harrison Poole – 1,202

2.       Ben Keck – 1,177

3.       Jason Stanley – 1,169

4.       Tristan Trupka – 1,158

5.       Casey Walker – 1,135

6.       Matt Murphy – 1,127

7.       Justin VanHecke – 1,123

8.       Keane Horner – 1,123

9.       Mike Brungardt – 1,117

        Steve Murphy – 1,114

        Pearce McKinley – 1,101

        Austin Meyers – 1,072

Things get interesting when you look at the average points per year and points against. Lets take a look at ole Pearce McKinney....Second lowest amount of points scored against him but still no titles? Pearce Pearce may have wasted some golden opportunities these last couple of years and could be in big trouble if things take a swing the other way. Another thing to note from this is that teams really seem to bring their "A" game when playing Ben Ji Keck and Jason McMillen Stanley.  

Playoff W/L (Appearance %)

1.       Steve Murphy – 4-4 (100%)

2.       Keane Horner – 4-4 (100%)

3.       Justin VanHecke – 4-2 (60%)

4.       Matt Murphy – 2-3 (75%)

5.       Ben Keck – 2-1 (60%)

6.       Pearce McKinley – 2-1 (25%)

7.       Austin Meyers – 1-1 (50%)^

8.       Jason Stanley – 1-2 (33%)

9.       Mike Brungardt – 0-1 (50%)^

         Harrison Poole – 0-1 (20%)

        Tristan Trupka - 0-0 (0%)

     .   Casey Walker - 0-0 (0%)

Still no playoff appearances for Tucker or Wayne :-(

Championships

1.       Ben Keck – 2* (2009)

2.       Steve Murphy – 1 (2012)

3.       Keane Horner – 1 (2011)

4.       Justin VanHecke – 1 (2013)

Thats right, suck it bitches. 

Final All-Time Rankings (Computer Generated)

1      Keane Horner         -

       Steve Murphy        -

       Justin VanHecke    +2

       Matt Murphy         -1

        Ben Keck                  -1

        Pearce McKinley   +2

       Austin Meyers       +3

       Jason Stanley          -2

       Mike Brungardt     -2

      Casey Walker        -1

         Harrison Poole      -          

          Tristan Trupka       -

Note: 2010 Championship was forfeit due to a Terrorist attack during the Title Game.

* 2008 Helms Title

^ Only played one season

Week 11 Power Rankings

Special guest Sven Murphy, Manager of the Prince Alberts, stopped by this week to fellatio himself while taking Selfie's. When he was done soiling my guest bedroom with sights that cannot be unseen he dropped off the week 11 power rankings for me to post.

1.      1. The Prince Alberts (8-2) – The defending champs are looking to bring another trophy home to titletown as they have won 7 straight and boast a league best, 8-2 record.  It’s no surprise that this team leads the league in total points (by almost 200) with a pitching staff full of horses like Darvish, Bumgarner, Teheran, Shields, Kazmir, and young stud Michael Wacha. This stable of a staff has combined for over 730 innings pitched.  Look for this team to stay hot and lock up the #1 playoff seed.

2.     2.  Boats-n-Hosmers (7-3) – Owner and GM, Andy Schoon, drank beer and watched his team leap to a hot 4-0 start and posting a league high 517 points in week 3. The Hosmers appeared to be the team to beat early on, but have come back down to earth after going 3-3 in their last six. However, like the top team on this list, the Hosmers tout a top notch pitching staff that has amassed 727 strikeouts in just 684 innings. No doubt power arms like Kershaw and Greg Holland will carry this team into the playoffs.

3.      3.  Los Gringos Blancos (7-3) – The Gringos have been off to a quiet, yet impressive start to the season. I say ‘quiet’ because owner and GM, Cheese Horner, claims he “barely checks his team”. Nonetheless, this squad has a strong pitching staff – and if young bats like Eric Hosmer and Brett Lawrie continue to trend upward, look out.

4.      4.  Rebel Yell (5-5) – Joining five other teams with a record of 5-5, Rebel Yell is the best of the mediocre. Not much to brag about there, but this squad has allowed the most points at 3,719. The Yells are led by veterans Adam Wainwright and Troy Tulowitzki, who are the leading vote-getters for their respective positions in this year’s mid-summer classic. Birry Butrer changing his diet is the only chance this team has at pulling away from the pack.

5.       5. HGH Junkies (5-5) – Coming in at #5 are your Kansas City Royals!!! No seriously, they are your win one – lose one, win two – lose two—just like our boys in blue. GM, Pearce McKinney, is optimistic, however, due to his strong pitching staff led by Japanese stars Masahiro Tanaka and Hisashi Iawkuma. The recent acquisition of Anibal Sanchez has the Fighting McKinneys all in this year.  Rumor has it, though, that Junkies’ ownership has looked into moving the team to Tokyo. Ahh won ton wahhhhh! See you in da prayoffs??!!

6.    6.   Team Elephant (5-5) – Checking in at #6 are the NEWLYWEDS! Shortly after GM Casey Wayne’s big day, he released Anibal Sanchez?!?!?!?!?! Sanchez was signed for 5 years 80 million and boasted a 2.24 ERA for the ‘Phants so far in his 2014 campaign. You can’t argue with this team’s bats, however, as they’ve produced 435 RBI thus far behind guys Like Miggy Cabrera, Jose Bautista, Charlie Blackmon, Sal Perez,  and now Lonnie Chisenhall. My prediction: pitching is everything and this team doesn’t have it.

7.     7.  CW’s Trouser Trout (5-5) – The Trout’s have already won this year’s “Best Team Name” award. Bravo CW! After a hot 3-0 start, this team was destined for another playoff appearance. That was until the injury bug plagued their young pitching staff. GM Sven Murphy can thank GM CW for much his success at the plate as he traded George Springer for a can of grizz wintergreen  back in May. The Trout’s success lies in the hands of its namesake, Mike Trout – and if young fireballers Yordano Ventura and Chris Sale can stay healthy – book this team another trip to the playoffs.

8.    8.   Penn Valley Pooches (5-5) – The parody of this league continues as ANOTHER team checks in at 5-5. Felix Hernandez and Edwin Encarnacion are proven leaders who may just lead this team to the promise land. You have to credit Pooches GM, Matt Murphy, for keeping this team’s identity the same since the inception of this league. Once again, the Pooches lead the league in saves and hold the least amount of starting pitchers on their roster. An interesting strategy to say the least, but remember – this team has done it before, a la 2012.

9.      9.  Prairie Village Predators (2-8) – Has anyone seen Harry? Yeah, me neither.  The Pradators have lost six straight and are last in total points. Enough said.

      10.   Crocs in Florida (1-9) – Last and definitely least, the Crocs are this year’s Astros. This team has the second most points allowed, but they are also second to last in points scored.  Hard to believe this team is so awful with guys like Goldschmidt, Donaldson, Hanley Ramirez, Joey Votto, and Yoenis Cespedes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: pitching is everything. Rumor has it Jason is willing to trade his baseball players for fantasy football draft picks – any takers?!?!?!

2013 KSFBFFL Championship Game Preview

Ben Ji
135 Miles East of Gods Country

KSFBFFL Championship Preview

The Firechefs (11-2) vs PV Porch Monkeys (9-4)

This is it folks! The big Mama Jama! The KSFBFFL season all comes down to this match up of two teams desperate for their First Title. Gone are the Keckism Killers, the Taints have limped home to lick their wounds, the 3/5rs have already cleaned out every one's lockers and stopped returning phone calls. The only two teams that matter are playing today and BOY OH GOLLY it should be a Classic Matchup!

The Firechef's have been the early favorites since putting up 165 points in week one. Their powerful offense is led by Cyborg Manning and his stable of targets including Megatron, Ashley Jeffries, Reggie Bush and Andre Johnson. With a victory over the Monkeys the Chef's will solidify their squad as one the greatest teams in the history of the KSFBFFL.

The PV Porch Monkeys season has been a story of Redemption. Nothing in GM Pearce McKinleys past showed anything like this was possible, its really been quite the Cinderella season for ole pearcy poo. After the draft the Monkeys were predicted to finish in last place by numerous media outlet's including BWKNBNC and surely their season would come crashing down when QB Aaron Rogers got hurt? Nope, Alex Smith has stepped in nicely to fill the void and keep the dream season going.

Before we get to the BWKNBNC Prediction lets see what other GM's around the league have to say. 

"I have the go with the Firechef's. They have the most impressive resume of any team" -Terrible interviewer Steve Murphy

"Firechef's. I had the privilege of sitting next to their GM at the well for a meal the other night. I can't disclose the exact conversation but he seemed more confident and his chicken Ceaser salad showed me a healthy gm with the drive to win it all." -Matt Murphy

"I'll go with the monkeys. Abu is well rested and gronk is out, jimmy graham had 2 points last week. I think he has a big game next week and the tight end position makes a difference." -Jason Stanley

"Firechefs by a mile and that is no slight to the porch monkeys. The firechefs lineup is simply overwheling and GM C.W. has put together a championship caliber team and overcome challenges cush as the tickle monster and his crotch quite literally being on fire. I'm looking forward to welcoming him into the championship fraternity" Chamionship GM Keane Cheese


BWKNBNC Breakdown-

	Firechefs		Monkeys
Projected	133	x	116
Last Wk	88		103	x
Avg	115	x	100
5 week high	113		121	x
5 week low	71		88	x
Total		2		3

Wow! Not what we were expecting?!? The BWKNBNC Formula is actually predicting a 108-97 Victory for the Monkeys.

Mark it down, by 9pm tonight GM Pearce McKinley will be sipping a cold beverage out of The Martin. We asked ole Pearce Pearce how he plans to celebrate his champion ship.."The Porch Monkeys will be celebrating with fried chicken, watermelon and Colt .45's for all"

Week 11 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
130 Miles East of God's Country

The Keckism Killers were expected to cruise through the rest of their weak schedule but GM Mike Gomez would have none of it saying "We believe...We believe that we....WE BELIEVE that we will....WE BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN, WE BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN OUT AND MAKE THE PLAYOFFS AND KEEP ON WINNING UNTIL I'M HAVING A THREESOME WITH MY WIFE AND THE MARTIN"


With the playoffs starting in 3 weeks anything is possible as the KSFBFFL standings have been thrown into disarray. The only constant so far this season has been the Firechefs just straight up slaughtering peeps.


Lets take a look at how the playoff picture shakes out.

Locks

1. The Firechefs, 9-1

For the first time since week 4 the Firechefs did not have the highest scoring team in the league. Despite 27 points from Peyton and 20 points from Megatron the Firechefs were barely able to put up 112 points to squeak out a victory over the Porch Monkeys. If GM Brooke Van Heche had not picked up the Giants D the firechefs may have lost. 

Remaining Schedule-

• Raw Dawg, 3-7
• 50 Shades of Taint, 7-3
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-8

Predicted Finish- 12-1

Safe

2.Team McKinney, 6-4

The Porch Monkeys put up a valiant effort against the Firechefs last week but came up short by 12 points. QB Christian Ponder had a sub par effort last week and will be replaced by Alex Smith. If the Monkeys want to make some noise in the Playoffs they had better hope Aaron Rogers returns soon and that their running backs start producing.

Remaining Schedule-

• I Touchdown There, 4-6
• Costa Concordia Disaster, 5-5
• Keckism Killers, 5-5

Predicted Finish- 9-4

3. 50 Shades of Taint, 7-3

Whats wrong down at Quality Hill? The Taints started the year on a tear and were once seen as the only team that may be able to challenge the Firechefs but things have taken a turn for the worse including a pitiful 69 point performance last week. Romo needs to step up his game(9 points last week, barf) and Stevie will need more production from his WR's(6 combined points) if he wants to be a serious contender. 

Remaining Schedule-

• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-8
• The Firechefs, 9-1
• Puff Puff Pass, 5-5

Predicted Finish- 9-4

Clusterfuck

4.Dixieland Three Fifthers, 5-5

The highest scoring team last week, the 3/5r's are on another 2 game winning steak thanks to some studly performances by Brandon Marshall(25 points) and Marshawn Lynch(21). They should be favored in every game from here on out and could contend for a 3 seed if they win out.  

Remaining Games

• Puff Puff Pass, 5-5
• Polygamy Pounders, 5-5
• I Touchdown There, 4-6

Predicted Finish- 8-5 

5. Keckism Killers, 5-5

Two weeks ago BWKNBNC predicted the Killers would go on a tear the rest of the year and lock up a 3 seed....Two straight losses have changed alot and what looked to a a cakewalk has now turned into a elephant walk.  

Remaining Schedule- 

• Costa Concordia Disaster, 5-5
• Johnny Footballs, 4-6
• Team McKinney, 6-4

Predicted Finish- 7-6

6. Polygamy Pounders, 5-5

The 62 points the Pounder's put up last week won't cut it if they are serious about contending for a playoff spot. This team is made up of Boom or Bust players and need some more consistent performers. Look for a rebound this weekend against the struggling Footballs. 

Remaining Schedule

• Johnny Footalls, 4-6
• Dixieland 3/5r's, 5-5
• Raw Dawg, 3-7

Predicted Finish- 7-6 

7. Costa Concordia Disaster, 5-5

What an exciting game last week(FLUSHES THE TOILET)! Seriously, has a team ever had a worse win? This team has substantially less points scored than all the other 5-5 teams and will need to win at least 2/3 to have a chance at the playoffs....One side note, if GM Wayne Walker had not traded for Demarco Murray he would of lost last week and pretty much been eliminated from the playoffs. 

Remaining Games

• Keckism Killers, 5-5
• Team McKinney, 6-4
• Johnny Footballs, 4-6

Predicted Finish-6-7

8. Puff Puff Pass, 5-5

This team is ranked this high on W/L record alone and after scoring 44 points last week I dont feel like wasting any time writing about them. 

Remaining Games

• Dixieland Three Fifthers, 5-5
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-8
• 50 Shades of Taint, 7-3

Predicted Finish - 6-7

Lose and They are out

9/10. I Touchdown There, Johnny Footballs- 4-6

The Touchdowns shocked the world last week putting up 112 points while taking down the Killers. If either of these teams hope to make the playoffs they had better win out and hope everyone else loses. 


Projected Playoff Bracket



                               
                                           1. Firechefs


                                          _____________
4. Dixieland Three Fifthers---l
                                          l
5. Keckism Killers-------------l



3. 50 Shades of Taint--------l
                                        l
6. Polygamy Pounders-------l
                                         _________________
    

                                         2. PV Porch Monkeys
                                       

Blurbs and Blubs

Ben Ji
132 Miles East of Gods Country

BLURBS AND BLUBS

NOT SO FAST!!!

• Everyone was quick to write the Touchdowns off but GM Mike Gomez kept slaving away down in Texas and it paid off. Great call to start Nick Folds over Matt Ryan.
• Remember when the Taints were a shoe-in for the 2 seed and a first round bye? Not anymore. 
• All the pundits who assumed the Keckism Killers were a lock for the playoffs have to be questioning their sanity. The "weak" remaining schedule suddenly looks alot more daunting after 2 straight losses. 
• The 3/5r's and Disasters both had huge victories this week and have thrown the playoff picture into disarray. 

WASTED CHANCES

• The Pounder's of Salt Lake pulled a double whammy this weekend. They had a chance to effectively eliminate the Disasters from playoff contention while almost assuredly securing themselves a playoff spot....But they fucked it up by losing in a ugly, ugly, ugly, uuuugggggglllllyyyyyyy game.
• The PV Porch Monkeys had a chance to show they are a legit title contender but fell short against the Firechefs. Had they won they would of been in the driver seat for the #2 seed. 
• Is Puff Puff Pass GM Austin Meyers still checking in? His Team seems to have laser focus one week(110 points) and shitty grandma focus the next(44 points this week).  

Who Cares

• I think the Dawgs beat Harri or something.