2014 All Time Standings

KSFBFFL All Time Standings

Its here boys! Drop your cocks and grab your socks, its football(fantasy) time!

With a mere 24 hours before the 2014 KSFBFFL draft lets take a look at the all time rankings. 

Wins (W-L)

1.       Steve Murphy – 43-22

2.       Keane Horner – 41-24

3.       Justin Vanhecke – 37-28

4.       Jason Stanley – 32-33

5.       Matt Murphy – 29-23

6.       Ben Keck – 28-37

7.       Pearce McKinley – 25-27

8.       Harrison Poole – 22-43

9.       Tristan Trupka – 19-33

         Casey Walker – 16-23

         Austin Meyers – 13-13^

         Mike Brungardt – 12-14^

Win %

1.       Steve Murphy – .662

2.       Keane Horner – .631

3.       Justin VanHecke – .569

4.       Matt Murphy – .558

5.       Austin Meyers – .500

6.       Jason Stanley – .492

7.       Pearce McKinley – .481

8.       Mike Brungardt – .462

9.       Ben Keck – .431

        Casey Walker – .410

        Tristan Trupka – .365

        Harrison Poole – .338

No surprise here folks, Sven Murphy and Cheese Horner are the cream of the crop when it comes to winning. The big surprise is how shitty 2009 KSFBFFL champion Ben Ji Keck has sucked ass recently, .431??? Woof.

Total Points

1.       Keane Horner – 6,156

2.       Justin VanHecke – 5,969

3.       Steve Murphy – 5,851

4.       Jason Stanley – 5,645

5.       Ben Keck – 5,608

6.       Harrison Poole – 5,017

7.       Pearce McKinley – 4,708

8.       Matt Murphy – 4,663

9.       Tristan Trupka – 4,255

        Casey Walker – 3,416

       Austin Meyers – 2,208

        Mike Brungardt – 2,175

Total Points (Per Year Avg.)

1.       Keane Horner – 1,231

2.       Justin VanHecke – 1,193

3.       Pearce McKinley – 1,177

4.       Steve Murphy – 1,170

5.       Matt Murphy – 1,166

6.       Casey Walker – 1,139

7.       Jason Stanley – 1,129

8.       Ben Keck – 1,122

9.       Austin Meyers – 1,104

        Mike Brungardt – 1,088

        Tristan Trupka – 1,064

        Harrison Poole – 1,003

Points Against (Per Year Avg.)

1.       Harrison Poole – 1,202

2.       Ben Keck – 1,177

3.       Jason Stanley – 1,169

4.       Tristan Trupka – 1,158

5.       Casey Walker – 1,135

6.       Matt Murphy – 1,127

7.       Justin VanHecke – 1,123

8.       Keane Horner – 1,123

9.       Mike Brungardt – 1,117

        Steve Murphy – 1,114

        Pearce McKinley – 1,101

        Austin Meyers – 1,072

Things get interesting when you look at the average points per year and points against. Lets take a look at ole Pearce McKinney....Second lowest amount of points scored against him but still no titles? Pearce Pearce may have wasted some golden opportunities these last couple of years and could be in big trouble if things take a swing the other way. Another thing to note from this is that teams really seem to bring their "A" game when playing Ben Ji Keck and Jason McMillen Stanley.  

Playoff W/L (Appearance %)

1.       Steve Murphy – 4-4 (100%)

2.       Keane Horner – 4-4 (100%)

3.       Justin VanHecke – 4-2 (60%)

4.       Matt Murphy – 2-3 (75%)

5.       Ben Keck – 2-1 (60%)

6.       Pearce McKinley – 2-1 (25%)

7.       Austin Meyers – 1-1 (50%)^

8.       Jason Stanley – 1-2 (33%)

9.       Mike Brungardt – 0-1 (50%)^

         Harrison Poole – 0-1 (20%)

        Tristan Trupka - 0-0 (0%)

     .   Casey Walker - 0-0 (0%)

Still no playoff appearances for Tucker or Wayne :-(

Championships

1.       Ben Keck – 2* (2009)

2.       Steve Murphy – 1 (2012)

3.       Keane Horner – 1 (2011)

4.       Justin VanHecke – 1 (2013)

Thats right, suck it bitches. 

Final All-Time Rankings (Computer Generated)

1      Keane Horner         -

       Steve Murphy        -

       Justin VanHecke    +2

       Matt Murphy         -1

        Ben Keck                  -1

        Pearce McKinley   +2

       Austin Meyers       +3

       Jason Stanley          -2

       Mike Brungardt     -2

      Casey Walker        -1

         Harrison Poole      -          

          Tristan Trupka       -

Note: 2010 Championship was forfeit due to a Terrorist attack during the Title Game.

* 2008 Helms Title

^ Only played one season

Week 11 Power Rankings

Special guest Sven Murphy, Manager of the Prince Alberts, stopped by this week to fellatio himself while taking Selfie's. When he was done soiling my guest bedroom with sights that cannot be unseen he dropped off the week 11 power rankings for me to post.

1.      1. The Prince Alberts (8-2) – The defending champs are looking to bring another trophy home to titletown as they have won 7 straight and boast a league best, 8-2 record.  It’s no surprise that this team leads the league in total points (by almost 200) with a pitching staff full of horses like Darvish, Bumgarner, Teheran, Shields, Kazmir, and young stud Michael Wacha. This stable of a staff has combined for over 730 innings pitched.  Look for this team to stay hot and lock up the #1 playoff seed.

2.     2.  Boats-n-Hosmers (7-3) – Owner and GM, Andy Schoon, drank beer and watched his team leap to a hot 4-0 start and posting a league high 517 points in week 3. The Hosmers appeared to be the team to beat early on, but have come back down to earth after going 3-3 in their last six. However, like the top team on this list, the Hosmers tout a top notch pitching staff that has amassed 727 strikeouts in just 684 innings. No doubt power arms like Kershaw and Greg Holland will carry this team into the playoffs.

3.      3.  Los Gringos Blancos (7-3) – The Gringos have been off to a quiet, yet impressive start to the season. I say ‘quiet’ because owner and GM, Cheese Horner, claims he “barely checks his team”. Nonetheless, this squad has a strong pitching staff – and if young bats like Eric Hosmer and Brett Lawrie continue to trend upward, look out.

4.      4.  Rebel Yell (5-5) – Joining five other teams with a record of 5-5, Rebel Yell is the best of the mediocre. Not much to brag about there, but this squad has allowed the most points at 3,719. The Yells are led by veterans Adam Wainwright and Troy Tulowitzki, who are the leading vote-getters for their respective positions in this year’s mid-summer classic. Birry Butrer changing his diet is the only chance this team has at pulling away from the pack.

5.       5. HGH Junkies (5-5) – Coming in at #5 are your Kansas City Royals!!! No seriously, they are your win one – lose one, win two – lose two—just like our boys in blue. GM, Pearce McKinney, is optimistic, however, due to his strong pitching staff led by Japanese stars Masahiro Tanaka and Hisashi Iawkuma. The recent acquisition of Anibal Sanchez has the Fighting McKinneys all in this year.  Rumor has it, though, that Junkies’ ownership has looked into moving the team to Tokyo. Ahh won ton wahhhhh! See you in da prayoffs??!!

6.    6.   Team Elephant (5-5) – Checking in at #6 are the NEWLYWEDS! Shortly after GM Casey Wayne’s big day, he released Anibal Sanchez?!?!?!?!?! Sanchez was signed for 5 years 80 million and boasted a 2.24 ERA for the ‘Phants so far in his 2014 campaign. You can’t argue with this team’s bats, however, as they’ve produced 435 RBI thus far behind guys Like Miggy Cabrera, Jose Bautista, Charlie Blackmon, Sal Perez,  and now Lonnie Chisenhall. My prediction: pitching is everything and this team doesn’t have it.

7.     7.  CW’s Trouser Trout (5-5) – The Trout’s have already won this year’s “Best Team Name” award. Bravo CW! After a hot 3-0 start, this team was destined for another playoff appearance. That was until the injury bug plagued their young pitching staff. GM Sven Murphy can thank GM CW for much his success at the plate as he traded George Springer for a can of grizz wintergreen  back in May. The Trout’s success lies in the hands of its namesake, Mike Trout – and if young fireballers Yordano Ventura and Chris Sale can stay healthy – book this team another trip to the playoffs.

8.    8.   Penn Valley Pooches (5-5) – The parody of this league continues as ANOTHER team checks in at 5-5. Felix Hernandez and Edwin Encarnacion are proven leaders who may just lead this team to the promise land. You have to credit Pooches GM, Matt Murphy, for keeping this team’s identity the same since the inception of this league. Once again, the Pooches lead the league in saves and hold the least amount of starting pitchers on their roster. An interesting strategy to say the least, but remember – this team has done it before, a la 2012.

9.      9.  Prairie Village Predators (2-8) – Has anyone seen Harry? Yeah, me neither.  The Pradators have lost six straight and are last in total points. Enough said.

      10.   Crocs in Florida (1-9) – Last and definitely least, the Crocs are this year’s Astros. This team has the second most points allowed, but they are also second to last in points scored.  Hard to believe this team is so awful with guys like Goldschmidt, Donaldson, Hanley Ramirez, Joey Votto, and Yoenis Cespedes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: pitching is everything. Rumor has it Jason is willing to trade his baseball players for fantasy football draft picks – any takers?!?!?!

2013 KSFBFFL Championship Game Preview

Ben Ji
135 Miles East of Gods Country

KSFBFFL Championship Preview

The Firechefs (11-2) vs PV Porch Monkeys (9-4)

This is it folks! The big Mama Jama! The KSFBFFL season all comes down to this match up of two teams desperate for their First Title. Gone are the Keckism Killers, the Taints have limped home to lick their wounds, the 3/5rs have already cleaned out every one's lockers and stopped returning phone calls. The only two teams that matter are playing today and BOY OH GOLLY it should be a Classic Matchup!

The Firechef's have been the early favorites since putting up 165 points in week one. Their powerful offense is led by Cyborg Manning and his stable of targets including Megatron, Ashley Jeffries, Reggie Bush and Andre Johnson. With a victory over the Monkeys the Chef's will solidify their squad as one the greatest teams in the history of the KSFBFFL.

The PV Porch Monkeys season has been a story of Redemption. Nothing in GM Pearce McKinleys past showed anything like this was possible, its really been quite the Cinderella season for ole pearcy poo. After the draft the Monkeys were predicted to finish in last place by numerous media outlet's including BWKNBNC and surely their season would come crashing down when QB Aaron Rogers got hurt? Nope, Alex Smith has stepped in nicely to fill the void and keep the dream season going.

Before we get to the BWKNBNC Prediction lets see what other GM's around the league have to say. 

"I have the go with the Firechef's. They have the most impressive resume of any team" -Terrible interviewer Steve Murphy

"Firechef's. I had the privilege of sitting next to their GM at the well for a meal the other night. I can't disclose the exact conversation but he seemed more confident and his chicken Ceaser salad showed me a healthy gm with the drive to win it all." -Matt Murphy

"I'll go with the monkeys. Abu is well rested and gronk is out, jimmy graham had 2 points last week. I think he has a big game next week and the tight end position makes a difference." -Jason Stanley

"Firechefs by a mile and that is no slight to the porch monkeys. The firechefs lineup is simply overwheling and GM C.W. has put together a championship caliber team and overcome challenges cush as the tickle monster and his crotch quite literally being on fire. I'm looking forward to welcoming him into the championship fraternity" Chamionship GM Keane Cheese


BWKNBNC Breakdown-

	Firechefs		Monkeys
Projected	133	x	116
Last Wk	88		103	x
Avg	115	x	100
5 week high	113		121	x
5 week low	71		88	x
Total		2		3

Wow! Not what we were expecting?!? The BWKNBNC Formula is actually predicting a 108-97 Victory for the Monkeys.

Mark it down, by 9pm tonight GM Pearce McKinley will be sipping a cold beverage out of The Martin. We asked ole Pearce Pearce how he plans to celebrate his champion ship.."The Porch Monkeys will be celebrating with fried chicken, watermelon and Colt .45's for all"

Week 11 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
130 Miles East of God's Country

The Keckism Killers were expected to cruise through the rest of their weak schedule but GM Mike Gomez would have none of it saying "We believe...We believe that we....WE BELIEVE that we will....WE BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN, WE BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN OUT AND MAKE THE PLAYOFFS AND KEEP ON WINNING UNTIL I'M HAVING A THREESOME WITH MY WIFE AND THE MARTIN"


With the playoffs starting in 3 weeks anything is possible as the KSFBFFL standings have been thrown into disarray. The only constant so far this season has been the Firechefs just straight up slaughtering peeps.


Lets take a look at how the playoff picture shakes out.

Locks

1. The Firechefs, 9-1

For the first time since week 4 the Firechefs did not have the highest scoring team in the league. Despite 27 points from Peyton and 20 points from Megatron the Firechefs were barely able to put up 112 points to squeak out a victory over the Porch Monkeys. If GM Brooke Van Heche had not picked up the Giants D the firechefs may have lost. 

Remaining Schedule-

• Raw Dawg, 3-7
• 50 Shades of Taint, 7-3
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-8

Predicted Finish- 12-1

Safe

2.Team McKinney, 6-4

The Porch Monkeys put up a valiant effort against the Firechefs last week but came up short by 12 points. QB Christian Ponder had a sub par effort last week and will be replaced by Alex Smith. If the Monkeys want to make some noise in the Playoffs they had better hope Aaron Rogers returns soon and that their running backs start producing.

Remaining Schedule-

• I Touchdown There, 4-6
• Costa Concordia Disaster, 5-5
• Keckism Killers, 5-5

Predicted Finish- 9-4

3. 50 Shades of Taint, 7-3

Whats wrong down at Quality Hill? The Taints started the year on a tear and were once seen as the only team that may be able to challenge the Firechefs but things have taken a turn for the worse including a pitiful 69 point performance last week. Romo needs to step up his game(9 points last week, barf) and Stevie will need more production from his WR's(6 combined points) if he wants to be a serious contender. 

Remaining Schedule-

• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-8
• The Firechefs, 9-1
• Puff Puff Pass, 5-5

Predicted Finish- 9-4

Clusterfuck

4.Dixieland Three Fifthers, 5-5

The highest scoring team last week, the 3/5r's are on another 2 game winning steak thanks to some studly performances by Brandon Marshall(25 points) and Marshawn Lynch(21). They should be favored in every game from here on out and could contend for a 3 seed if they win out.  

Remaining Games

• Puff Puff Pass, 5-5
• Polygamy Pounders, 5-5
• I Touchdown There, 4-6

Predicted Finish- 8-5 

5. Keckism Killers, 5-5

Two weeks ago BWKNBNC predicted the Killers would go on a tear the rest of the year and lock up a 3 seed....Two straight losses have changed alot and what looked to a a cakewalk has now turned into a elephant walk.  

Remaining Schedule- 

• Costa Concordia Disaster, 5-5
• Johnny Footballs, 4-6
• Team McKinney, 6-4

Predicted Finish- 7-6

6. Polygamy Pounders, 5-5

The 62 points the Pounder's put up last week won't cut it if they are serious about contending for a playoff spot. This team is made up of Boom or Bust players and need some more consistent performers. Look for a rebound this weekend against the struggling Footballs. 

Remaining Schedule

• Johnny Footalls, 4-6
• Dixieland 3/5r's, 5-5
• Raw Dawg, 3-7

Predicted Finish- 7-6 

7. Costa Concordia Disaster, 5-5

What an exciting game last week(FLUSHES THE TOILET)! Seriously, has a team ever had a worse win? This team has substantially less points scored than all the other 5-5 teams and will need to win at least 2/3 to have a chance at the playoffs....One side note, if GM Wayne Walker had not traded for Demarco Murray he would of lost last week and pretty much been eliminated from the playoffs. 

Remaining Games

• Keckism Killers, 5-5
• Team McKinney, 6-4
• Johnny Footballs, 4-6

Predicted Finish-6-7

8. Puff Puff Pass, 5-5

This team is ranked this high on W/L record alone and after scoring 44 points last week I dont feel like wasting any time writing about them. 

Remaining Games

• Dixieland Three Fifthers, 5-5
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-8
• 50 Shades of Taint, 7-3

Predicted Finish - 6-7

Lose and They are out

9/10. I Touchdown There, Johnny Footballs- 4-6

The Touchdowns shocked the world last week putting up 112 points while taking down the Killers. If either of these teams hope to make the playoffs they had better win out and hope everyone else loses. 


Projected Playoff Bracket



                               
                                           1. Firechefs


                                          _____________
4. Dixieland Three Fifthers---l
                                          l
5. Keckism Killers-------------l



3. 50 Shades of Taint--------l
                                        l
6. Polygamy Pounders-------l
                                         _________________
    

                                         2. PV Porch Monkeys
                                       

Blurbs and Blubs

Ben Ji
132 Miles East of Gods Country

BLURBS AND BLUBS

NOT SO FAST!!!

• Everyone was quick to write the Touchdowns off but GM Mike Gomez kept slaving away down in Texas and it paid off. Great call to start Nick Folds over Matt Ryan.
• Remember when the Taints were a shoe-in for the 2 seed and a first round bye? Not anymore. 
• All the pundits who assumed the Keckism Killers were a lock for the playoffs have to be questioning their sanity. The "weak" remaining schedule suddenly looks alot more daunting after 2 straight losses. 
• The 3/5r's and Disasters both had huge victories this week and have thrown the playoff picture into disarray. 

WASTED CHANCES

• The Pounder's of Salt Lake pulled a double whammy this weekend. They had a chance to effectively eliminate the Disasters from playoff contention while almost assuredly securing themselves a playoff spot....But they fucked it up by losing in a ugly, ugly, ugly, uuuugggggglllllyyyyyyy game.
• The PV Porch Monkeys had a chance to show they are a legit title contender but fell short against the Firechefs. Had they won they would of been in the driver seat for the #2 seed. 
• Is Puff Puff Pass GM Austin Meyers still checking in? His Team seems to have laser focus one week(110 points) and shitty grandma focus the next(44 points this week).  

Who Cares

• I think the Dawgs beat Harri or something. 

Week 9 Playoff Preview

Ben Ji
130 Miles East of God's Country

The Stove Is Hot!!!

With the trade deadline less than 4 hours away the league has separated into two distinct groups...Buyers and Sellers. 

The Dixieland Three Fifthers started things out by sending Julius Thomas and their 2nd round pick in 2014 to the West Canaan Coyotes in exchange for Marshawn Lynch. 

Things really heated up on Monday when GM Sven Murphy decided to add another elite back by acquiring Knowshoe Moreno for Giovanni Bernard and the Taints 4th round pick in 2014.

Not to be outdone, the Costa Concordia Disasters went on a buying spree sending Brian Hartline and 4th round pick to the Johnny Footballs in exchange for WR Josh Gordon. Less than 30 minutes later GM Wayne Walker struck another deal to send Julian Edelman and a 5th round pick to the Coyotes in exchange for the currently injured Demarco Murray. 

Its pretty clear we only have 8 teams that are still in the running as the Coyotes, Touchdowns, Dawgs and Footballs have all started rebuilding for next year. 

Lets break these 8 teams down into 3 separate groups

Locks

1. The Firechefs, 7-1

The Firechefs are the class of the league and should cruise to the #1 seed in the playoffs. 

Remaining Schedule-

• Keckism Killers, 5-3
• Team Mckinney, 5-3
• Raw Dawg, 2-6
• 50 Shades of Taint, 6-2
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-6

Predicted Finish- 11-2

2. 50 Shades of Taint, 6-2

With the recent addition of Knowshoe Moreno GM Sven Murphy believes a repeat is a given "Book it, in fact we have already booked the Martin a trip to Paris next Spring"

Remaining Schedule-

• Johnny Footalls, 3-5
• Dixieland 3/5r's, 3-5
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-6
• The Firechefs, 7-1
• Puff Puff Pass, 4-4

Predicted Finish- 10-3

Safe

3. Team McKinney, 5-3

Team McKinney is happy with their team and have decided not to acquire anyone before the deadline. 

Remaining Schedule-

• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-6
• The Firechefs, 7-1
• I Touchdown There, 3-5
• Costa Concordia Disaster, 4-4
• Keckism Killers, 5-3

Predicted Finish- 8-5

4. Keckism Killers, 5-3

The Killers GM Jason Stanley enjoyed a quick getaway to mexico as his team cruised to an easy W over the Coyote and should continue to cruise against an easy schedule. His team still does have some holes and some media members are wondering if his absence at the trade deadline may end up hurting his team in the playoffs.  

Remaining Schedule- 

• Firechefs, 7-1
• I Touchdown There, 3-5
• Costa Concordia Disaster, 4-4
• Johnny Footballs, 3-5
• Team McKinney, 5-3

Predicted Finish- 9-4

Danger Zone

5. Polygamy Pounders, 4-4

The Pounders may not face another above .500 team this year, look for them to keep putting up steady point totals from 80-100 every week. 

Remaining Schedule

• I Touchdown There, 3-5
• Costa Concordia Disaster, 4-4
• Johnny Footalls, 3-5
• Dixieland 3/5r's, 3-5
• Raw Dawg, 2-6

Predicted Finish- 7-6

6. Costa Concordia Disaster, 4-4

The Disasters have mortgaged the farm but what did they really get for their 4th and 5th round picks next year? A Promising RB with injury problems who is currently injured? The best WR on a turrible team? To make things worse their schedule is about to get alot harder. 

Remaining Games

• Puff Puff Pass, 4-4
• Polygamy Pounders, 4-4
• Keckism Killers, 5-3
• Team McKinney, 5-3
• Johnny Footballs, 3-5

Predicted Finish- 6-7

7. Puff Puff Pass, 4-4

The Puff's only put up 51 points last week in their win over the Touchdowns. Rumors have it that if the Puff's miss the playoffs they could relocate to a new city. 

Remaining Games

• Costa Concordia Disaster, 4-4
• Johnny Footballs, 3-5
• Dixieland Three Fifthers, 3-5
• West Canaan Coyotes, 2-6
• 50 Shades of Taint, 6-2

Predicted Finish - 6-7

8. Dixieland Three Fifthers, 3-5

The only 3-5 team to still be considered a contender, the three fifthers have had the most points scored against them so far this year. Their recent addition of Marshawn Lynch should help them climb up the standings thanks to a weak schedule. 

Remaining Games

• Raw Dawg, 2-6
• 50 Shades of Taint, 6-2
• Puff Puff Pass, 4-4
• Polygamy Pounders, 4-4
• I Touchdown There, 2-6

Predicted Finish- 7-6

Your Projected Playoff Bracket

                                                      1. The Firechefs, 11-2

                                                                                         

5. Polygamy Pounders, 7-6 -------                                                                              

                                                 >>>>  _______________

4. Team McKinney, 8-5 -----------

                                                     

6. Dixieland 3/5rs, 7-6----------

                                            >>>>>>>________________

3. Keckism Killers, 9-4----------

                                                                                                

                                                       2. 50 Shades of Taint, 10-3

Mid Season Report

Steve Murphy
Kansas City, MO

Mid-season Report

Best Team: Fire Chiefs

Boasting a league-leading 804 total points has led GM Justin VanHecke’s squad to an impressive 6-1 record. This star-studded unit is led by veterans Peyton Manthing and former Taint’s star wide-out, Calvin Johnson. With the recent return of STUD Rob Gronkowski, there is no sign of the Fire Chiefs slowing down. Prediction: finish with a 10-3 record and lose in the title game.

Best Player: Peyton Manthing

There is no argument here as  the 37 year old future Hall of Famer is averaging an astounding 27.6 points per game. He has scored at least 20 points in 6 of 7 games so far this season. GM Justin Kueser has found himself replacing his knee pads each and every week amid Peyton’s success. Prediction: Manning gets hemorrhoids in week 16 forcing the title to slip out of Justie’s hands.

Most Productive Player: Jamaal Charles

GM Wayne Walker is thrilled with his 2^nd overall pick thus far (who was passed by Ben Keck for Trent Richardson LOLERZ). Charles leads all RBs with 127 total points (18.1 avg), including 15 or more in EVERY game this season. Although Jamaal’s success has facilitated a nice little 4-3 start for Costa Concordia Disaster, rumor is that teammates are still pissed at him for impregnating Jovan Belcher’s girlfriend. Prediction: Charles gets stabbed in the locker room showers after week 10.

Best Defense: Kansas City Chiefs

Nope, that’s not a typo. Your hometown team has the best defense in the NFL. The Chiefs’ D has been ridiculously productive this year forcing 19 turnovers, 35 sacks, and 5 TDs. Prediction: Accumulation of turnovers and sacks slows down, but they hold the #1 defensive rank all season long.

Rookie Sensation: Gio Bernard

Credit GM, Sven Murphy, of the Taints for snagging this youngster in the 5^th round of the draft. Although his number aren’t eye-popping (9.1 ppg), the rookie out of North Carolina has a promising future and has been the most impressive rookie this season. Prediction: Bernard’s workload increases as does production in the flex position for the Taints as they look to bring yet another trophy to “Titletown”.

Steal of the Draft: Phyllis Rivers and Chiefs D

It was hard to ignore the value that these two have brought to their respective teams. Rivers was drafted in the 14^th round (161^st overall) while he ranks as the 3^rd best QB at 19.1 ppg so far this season. Although he has played for two teams (Keckism Killers traded him to The Dawgs), Phyllis has had no problem learning each new offense. As for the Chiefs D (also picked in the 14^th round) , see BEST DEFENSE.

Pick-up of the Year: Julius Thomas

As Peyton’s go-to red zone target, Thomas was a hot commodity after week 1. Thanks to a despicable week 1 performance, playboy GM Pearce Pearce McKinney was able to claim the third year tight end. The Fighting McKinneys already had STUD TE Jimmy Graham, so Thomas was quickly wrapped in stink bait and thrown into the Missouruh river. GM Ben Keck nabbed the promising TE for Freddy Jackson. Prediction: Thomas remains a top 5 TE all year long.

Best Turnaround: Costa Concordia Disaster

After a disappointing 4-9 2012 season, GM Wayne Walker has been the best turnaround story so far in this young season at 4-3. Much credit is given to the Disaster’s GM for trading Aaron Rodgers to the Taints last year for a 3^rd round pick in the 2013 draft. It’s paying early dividends as this team is poised to make its first ever playoff appearance. Predcition: A matchup versus the Fighting McKinney’s in week 12 decides a final playoff spot.

Biggest Disappointment: Raw Dawg

GM Matt Murphy’s storied franchise is in danger of missing the playoffs for the first time ever after feeble 2-5 start. This squad may look good on paper, but they can’t seem to put together a winning formula. Problem #1: drafting MJD…WOOF! (pun intended- see what I did there). Prediction: The Dawgs finish 6-7 and watch the playoffs from their luxury kennel.

First Round Bust: Trent Richardson/Steven Jackson

Taken #1 overall by GM Ben Keck in this year’s draft, the Alabama product is the 26^th ranked RB averaging just 6.6 points per game. When asked about why he passed on prospective #1 overall RB Jamaal Charles, GM Ben Keck stated that he spent more time on his lawn this summer than preparing for the draft. Steven Jackson is also an obvious first round BUST. Playing in just 2 games this year (14 carries), Jackson was a horrific draft choice by GM Scott Pioli (Brungy).

Show us your tiiiiiiiiiits!

Your Commish,

Sven Murphy