140 Miles east of Gods Country
HOT STOVE EDITION
Killers GM Jason Stanley has been an especially active participant in trades
Completed Trades
****Trade deadline is Thursday October 29th*****
Keckism Killers trade Carlos Hyde to the Leashed Pooches for their 5th and 14th round pick in 2016
Footlongs trade Antonio Brown, Greg Olsen and their 6th round pick to the PV Monkeys for their 2nd and 8th round picks in 2016.
Keckism Killers trade Dez Bryant and CJ Anderson to the Dixieland 3/5rs for their 5th round pick in 2016.
Footlongs trade Matt Ryan and Julio Jones to the Leashed Pooches for their 4th and 6th round picks in 2016.
POWER RANKINGS
Championship Contenders
1. PV Monkeys (6-0)
The Monkeys were dominate last week as they put up 122 pts in a victory over the 3/5rs to keep their record perfect. Five different players scored in double digits while both starting running backs scored over 22 points.
The Monkeys aren't resting though, instead they are gearing up for a championship push by acquiring Antonio Brown and Greg Olsen. When reached for comment GM Pearce McKinney said "We are done with bridesmaid dresses, we are going all in with the expectation of wearing white in December"
2. Firechiefs (5-1)
Chris Ivory's 25 points led the Firechiefs to another impressive victory last weekend while Carson Palmer has revitalized his career this year with the Firechiefs and is having a top 5 season. If Adrian Peterson can stop beating children and go back to putting up 15 pts a game this team will be hard to beat.
Expect another victory next week as when GM Justin VanHecke takes on the deadbeat Puff Puff Pass.
3. Dixieland 3/5rs (4-2)
With Jamaal Charles out for the year and 2 top 10 RB's on bye (Latavious Murray, Doug Martin) the 3/5rs faced a tough road last week against the Monkeys. Despite the loss this team still leads the league in total points and should be dangerous once newly acquired Dez Bryant gets back to playing.
We asked GM Benjamin William Keck III about breaking his no trade vow and acquiring Dez and CJ from his arch rival the Keckism Killers "Things change Mox. If Jamaal doesn't go down we don't make this trade....but he did and we had to reevaluate our roster and put ourselves in the best position to bring The Martin back to her rightful home."
4. Slobb On My Cobb (4-2)
The defending champs have not garnered much press this year but have no doubt GM Trenny Trupka has put together a team that has a chance to be the first back to back Martin winners. Trenny took an unorthodox approach this year choosing to build his team (2nd highest point total) around the Denver Bronco's defense who have averaged a remarkable 16.5ppg. Throw in a late round pick like Eli Manning having a career year and its easy to see how this team is a legit contender.
If Arian Foster can stay healthy the Trupka's could be spending another summer with The Martin.
Playoff Contenders
5. Polygamy Pounders (3-3)
Despite his 1st round draft pick sitting on the bench and his 2nd round draft pick contributing 1 point the Pounders scored 105 points in a victory last week. Mark Ingram and Jonathan Stewart have picked up Eddie Lacy's slack and Keenan Allen has had a breakout season.
If Eddie Lacy and Andrew Luck can start playing like top draft picks GM Cheese Horner may be taking The Martin back to the Wasatch Mountains.
6. West Canaan Coyotes (4-2)
Since being left for dead after an embarrassing 32-36 loss to the Keckism Killers 3 weeks ago the Coyotes have won 2 straight in impressive fashion. This week GM Lance Poole rode Tommy Brady and Calvin Johnson to another victory scoring 104 points.
7. Leashed Pooches (2-4)
It's October so that can only mean 1 thing...GM Matt Murphy has begun trading all of next years draft picks for a shot at the Martin. Doing some quick math (beep...boop....beep...beep...boop) I'm projecting he will enter the 2018 draft with no picks in the first 10 rounds.
By acquiring Julio Jones/Matt Ryan/Carlos Hyde the pooches have once again gone all in for a taste of The Martin.
Better Luck Next Year
8. I Touchdown There (1-5)
Another disappointing year for the Touchdowns as they are once again eliminated from the playoff picture before Halloween. Expect Larry Fitzgerald and Marshawn Lynch to be playing for another team by this time next week.
9. Farve Dollar Footlongs (1-5)
KSFBFFL will be without GM Sven Murphy in the playoffs for the first time this year as the Footlongs have gone into rebuilding mode by dealing Matt Ryan and Julio Jones.
We reached out to Sven to get his thoughts "This is tough, real tough. I feel terrible for the fans who have had to watch us these last 6 weeks but I owe it to them to put us in the best position possible next season"
10. Keckism Killers (2-4)
Another year without a title for the man on west 73rd Terrace. After averaging an embarrassing 55 points a game GM Boo Boo Stanley has sold off his meager pieces for a couple of 5th round draft picks.
Better luck next year kid.
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