140 Miles East of Gods Country
KSFBFFL Semi Final Preview
It was all chalk in the first round of the playoffs as the TD's and Garter Snakes both advanced with ease. How will things shake out this weekend in the semifinals?
NE JoCo Garter Snakes VS Farve Dollar Footlongs
The Footlongs stellar regular season saved them from what
surely would have been a first round exit last week as they scored a paltry 61
points. This week they take on the red hot Garter Snakes who have won 6
straight games. General Manager Svennika is not concerned though and had this
to say about his matchup this week “We feel that Charlie gives us an edge from
a coaching perspective but are dealing with a few unexpected roster changes. We
have cut kicker Brett Maher and are currently holding tryouts for a new foot
fairy. Secondly Coach Charlie has not made his decision on which QB will be
starting. We didn’t expect to have a QB controversy at this point in the season
but we are confident our beloved canine will make the right decision. I predict
a 113-96 win for the Footlongs.”
Meanwhile in NE Johnson County Coach Lady is on thin ice
after a piss poor performance pheasant hunting last weekend. We caught up with
her in her kennel to ask if the pressure is getting to her “Pressure? From
Fantasy Football? I can coach this team in my sleep. What I can’t do is run
around in a field full of grass that is 3 times taller than me while my asshole
owner shoots a shotgun over my head. Its like WTF, you expect me to sniff out
some wild birds and then after a big BANG put them in my mouth and bring them
back? I don’t even like fireworks…Whatever, I’ll win the Martin for Ben and
hopefully he will let me sleep next to that instead of a shotgun. Look for the
Snakes to pull off a 125-103 win”
BWKNBNC Prediction – Garter Snakes keep the train rolling
and the footlongs flounder. Garter Snakes 118, Footlongs 91
I Touchdown There VS Prairie Village Leg Hounds
After sending the Kooch’s to a first round exit the
Touchdowns were a little confused on who they were playing next and gave us a
preview of how they plan to beat the Garter Snakes….After being reminded they
still have to play the Leg Hounds this week GM Mike Brungy was less than concerned
“The TD’s are not worried about the Leghounds…Molly will have something very
important for Pearce Pearce to do like take Lola to the spa or something and
distract him from coaching his team. TD’s by 25 points.”
The Leg Hounds spent last weekend with their legs kicked up
on the couch and still managed to put up an impressive 140 points. With another
trip to the championship game on the Line GM Pearce McKinney was not worried
about his matchup against the TD’S. “Come over to my closet and let me know you
something” he said “See that? Bridesmaid dress from 2017. That one? Bridesmaid
dress from 2014. Over there? That’s my 2013 Bridesmaid dress….Its what we do
here on 70th Ter, we make championship games and lose. This will be
the TD’s last game of the season, we will win 110-85
BWKNBNC Prediction – The TD’s pull off a shocker and make
their first KSFBFFL Championship game. Touchdowns 99, Leg Hounds 87.
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