Week 4 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country

AND THEN ONLY 1 REMAINED

              Over the summer Firechefs GM Justin VanHeche attempted to drink himself to death in order to avoid his upcoming nuptials. 

       Week 3 of KSFBFFL was everything anyone could of hoped for with the drama continuing late into Monday Night as the Tate's eeked out a 1 pt victory over the Touchdowns. After a shocking loss by the Footlongs The Firechefs of North OP emerged as the only undefeated team left despite never scoring more than 86 points and declining every week. With 10/12 teams at either 1-2 or 2-1 week 4 should separate the wheat from the chaff.



1. Farve Dollar Footlongs 2-1

With a shocking loss to the previously win less pounders the footlongs dropped from the ranks of the unbeaten. When asked why he kept Jeremy Hill and his 21pts on the bench GM Steve Murphy said there is no one to blame but him and mentioned Hill could be in play for a starting spot next week "We have some tough decisions this week as all 4 RB's are worthy of a starting spot. Blount and CJ are locked in, will come down to either Forte or Hill for the flex start". The footlongs will need all hands on deck this week as they hope to take down the undefeated Firechefs.

2. Keckism Killers 2-1

Is there a QB Controversy brewing in the crossroads? Starting QB Ben Rapelesberger continues to put up pedestrian numbers while stud frat star Matthew Stafford keeps lighting up the bench. GM Jason Stanley admits he has been impressed with Staffords big play potential which is something his team needs. "We have been very consistent scoring in the 90's every week but never breaking 100. We have some options but at this point we aren't worried. We will make the playoffs and anything can happen once there".

3. Huge Ditka's 2-1

If the season ended today the expansion Ditka's would have a first round bye as champions of the All Lives Matter Division. GM Matthew Settles is riding high on his 2 game win streak but admits there is still work to do "I feel like we are starting to play like a team. Except for the WR's...A combined 7 points from all 3 is unacceptable and will not stand against the teams coming up. Hopefully GM Jason Stanley keeps his kicker on the bye week in the lineup and I have a chance at a 3rd win in a row"

4. The Firechefs 3-0

When it comes to overachieving the undefeated Firechefs are certainly a team that comes to mind. They have the 3rd lowest pt total (78 ppg) but have taken down all comers so far this year. We reached out to GM Justin VanKeuser for his thoughts on this weeks matchup against childhood rival Steve Murphy "There really isn't alot of motivation needed considering that Susan Murphy is my rival. We also get our leader back in LeDevan Bell. The fact that we are 3-0 when we haven't even hit our stride yet shows the mental toughness of our team. We are welcoming Vin Diesel into the locker room this thursday to provide the pre game speech to our team to reiterate that it doesn't matter if you win by a mile or an inch, all that matters is winning"

5. Zipper Destroyers 2-1

The Zippers shocked the 3/5rs last week with a 12 pt victory last week on the back of Marvin Jones 32 pt performance. GM Matt Murphy was not happy though and traded next years 5th round pick for Monkeys WR Kelvin Benjamin. "I plan to make him WR2 next to the surging Allen Robinson" he said "Marvin Jones is getting bumped to the flex giving the zippers a top 3 WR core". We have seen this before though as the dawg traded his 3rd/4th picks in 2014 and his 4th 5th 6th round picks last year all without a title to show.

6. Raytown 3/5rs 2-1

"It was shocking, losing to a team like the Destroyers, we thought we were better" GM Benjamin William Keck IV said at his post game press conference. What isn't shocking is that this team once again failed to score 100 points. Look for the 3/5rs to pay closer attention to Injury reports this week as they left TY Hilton and his 23pts on the bench.

7. My Lucky Tate's 1-2

A last second pt on Monday Night football propelled the Tate's over the Touchdowns last week and GM Casey Wayne Walker knew who to thank "We just thank GOD for the win this week and look forward to hosting the rebuilding Monkeys this week". "Every week is a new opportunity" he continued, "We have had some injuries but have to adjust, our talented WR's have bailed out our struggling QB and that needs to change."

8. I Touchdown There 1-2

The Touchdowns suffered a last second meltdown last week and all of a sudden find themselves in dire straights despite having the 2nd most total points. With Aaron Rodgers on a bye this week the Touchdowns face a must win next week against the Pounders. GM Mike Gomez understands the importance of this weeks matchup saying "Its very important. We have all the right pieces in place its just a matter of executing. We are confident that we will get on track this week."

9. Polygamy Pounders 1-2

After shocking the world last week by taking down the #1 Footlongs Pounders GM Keene Cheese also realizes the importance of this weeks matchup against the Touchdowns. I spoke with him briefly and asked if a loss means its time to rebuild, "No doubt its a pivotal week for sure, You can say that for both teams, 2-2 is something that can be built on, 1-3 is a deep, deep hole"

10. Slobb on My Cobb 1-2

Reigning Champion Tristan Trupka also faces a do or die matchup this week against the 3/5rs. Unfortunately for him 2 starters are on bye leaving him to scour the waiver wire. GM Trupka realizes what a loss may mean for his hopes for a 3 peat and when asked if he would consider a rebuild if the Cobbs lose he despondently responded, "Afraid So".


11. PV Monkeys 1-2

It's rebuild time on W 70th street as GM Molly McKinley has begun trading away pieces for draft picks. WR Kelvin Benjamin was the first casualty but Antonio Brown expects to fetch the biggest bounty. When asked why he decided to rebuild so early in the year he said "We lost some important pieces for the year last week. We had an offer on the table we felt comfortable with and don't believe our team will be a championship contender this year. Sometimes its best to take 1 step back to take 2 steps forward"

12. Puff Puff Auto Pass 0-3

GM Austin Meyers declined to respond to inquiries from BWKNBNC and still has not paid his dues.

Week 3 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country

SHOCKER IN RAYTOWN!!!

Killers WR Larry Fitzgerald cost his team a W last week

      Wow! What a ending to week 2! The Killers thought they had squeaked out a 1 point victory over their Arch Rival 3/5rs but a late stat correction by The World Wide Leader in Sports sent the Killers spirits in the dumpster. 

Lets take a look at this weeks power rankings. 

1. Farve Dollar Footlongs 2-0

The Footlongs continued their dominate start to the season with a 104-95 win over the Touchdowns. CJ Anderson will need to keep up his stellar play this week as fellow back Matthew Forte is listed as questionable. Luckily for the footlongs they have an easy matchup against the hapless Pounders. 

2. Raytown 3/5rs 2-0

Raytown erupted into riots last night when an ESPN Stat adjustment gave them the victory over the Keckism Killers. "Its BIG" GM Ben Keck said "We knew the stats were off and brought our case directly to ESPN. I'm glad they did the right thing but we have been focused on our matchup with the Zippers since Tuesday and did not participate in the looting last night"

3. Keckism Killers 1-1

While Raytown erupted in riots of elation all was somber in the crossroads last night. Star RB Todd Gurley has been a total disappointment this year and will look to rebound this week with an easy matchup against Puff Puff Auto Pass. 

4. I Touchdown There 1-1

A solid 95 point performance by the Touchdowns last week was not enough to slow down the scorching hot Footlongs. Carlos Hyde took the blame for the loss last week saying "2 Points man, I put up 2 points. That's not going to cut it". They face a tough matchup next week against the erratic but desperate Tates. 

5. The Firechiefs 2-0

Despite the 2-0 record no one seems to be taking the 2013 champs seriously due to their low point total. GM Justin VanKeuser hopes to squeak out one more victory over his former roommate Pearce McWilson this week before all star RB LedeVeonel Bell comes back from his dope addiction. 

6. The Huge Ditka's 1-1

The Ditka's seem to have found their stride in the KSFBFFL last week with a league high 116 points. WR Stefon Diggs appears on his way for a breakout season which could propel first year GM Matthew Settles into the playoffs. 

7. My Lucky Tates 0-2

Are the Tates for real? After an impressive 118 point total in week 1 the Tates laid an egg last week in what should of been an easy victory over the Firechiefs. Things don't get any easier this week as the tates take on the #4 ranked Touchdowns. 

8. Prairie Village Monkeys 1-1

The Monkeys slept walked to a unimpressive victory last week against the Pounders. It appears as if the monkeys will need big games from Antonio Brown every week it they intend to make a playoff push. 

9. Zipper Destroyers 1-1

Left for dead after week 1 the Destroyers shocked the defending champs last week putting up 111 pts. GM Matthew Murphy was not surprised "Send my team more bulletin board material. I'll trade my 4th 5th 6th rounds picks in 2017 if anyone wants them. They dont matter, I'll just defer those rounds. 

10- Slobb on My Cobb 1-1

Has GM Tristan Trupka's magical run come to an end? With Co-GM Jenny Trupka running her own team now the Cobb's seem to have lost the Magic they had during their past 2 championship runs. 

11. Puff Puff Auto Pass 0-2

The Auto Pass's put up a respectable 95 points last week with a solid all around performance. They need a big W this week against the Killers to avoid falling in the dreaded 0-2 hole. 

12. Polygamy Pounders 0-2

2011 Champion Keane Horner may be looking to trade off his pieces as soon as next week. The Pounders have failed to score over 70 points in any week but do have some nice pieces that other teams may be interested in. 

Week 2 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country

Farve Dollar Footlongs Party All Night Long!

Brett Farve Checks Back Into Rehab After Relapsing on Opiates celebrating the Victory

    The first week of the K-State Finest Bro's Fantasy Football League(KSFBFFL) kicked off with a bang this week with what some are already calling the game of the year. The Monkeys of Prairie Village, led by Antonio Brown, took an 18 pt lead heading into the final Monday Night Football game.

   Week 2 should be just as exciting as one of the leagues oldest rivalries takes center stage when the Killers visit the 3/5rs new home in Raytown for the first time. We caught up with a local Raytown citizen named Jim Kramer who works at Jiffy Lube for his take "WWHOOOOO?!? The KILLERS?!? THEY ARE GARBAGE, 3/5R'S ARE THE BEST TEAM ON THE PLANET AND WE GONNA WIIIINNNNNNN!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Power Rankings

1. Farve Dollar Footlongs (1-0)

The Footlongs were by far the most impressive team in week 1 as they jumped out to an early lead on their way to scoring a league high 143 points. With 4 of the Top 23 RB's the footlongs have plenty of pieces to play with in their quest for a second title. 

2. Keckism Killers (1-0)

Jumping out to an early lead on the back of the Murray Twins the Killers were never really challenged last week in a easy victory over the Destroyers. Todd Gurley may have been able to sleep walk through week 1 but the Killers need all hands on deck this week as they take on their Arch Rival the Raytown 3/5rs. 

3. My Lucky Tate (0-1)

Another Tough break for the Tate's as they finished with the second highest point total but still lost. GM Casey Wayne Walker has put together a fearsome team led by a resurgent Andrew Luck. If Spencer Ware can remain the Chiefs feature back and Jordy Nelson returns to his 2014 form the Tates could be hoisting The Martin next December. 

4. Raytown 3/5rs (1-0)

Led by breakout star William Snead IV the 3/5rs easily handled the expansion Ditkas in week 1 but QB Kirk Cousins is feeling the heat after his 9 point performance. GM Ben Keck had this to say "It wasn't what we were looking for out of him. We plan to stick with him for now but Matty Ice has been throwing lasers all week in practice. 

5. FireChiefs (1-0)

GM Justin VanKueser had mixed emotions about watching his 4th round pick Keenan Allen's season end after only one half "It was terrible seeing Keenan go down after having 62 yards in the first half. Time for Jordan Matthews to put on his big boy pants". Hopefully next week they will get more than 21 pts from their 5 RB/WR's. 

6. I Touchdown There (1-0)

The Touchdowns won an instant classic over the snake bitten Monkeys of PV but I would hold off on joining the Touchdowns bandwagon tho as they have a reputation for tanking after week 1. The running back core of David Johnson and Carlos Hyde may be enough to keep them in contention for the Martin. 

7. Slobb On My Cobb (1-0)

No doubt in my mind that Tuck Tuck spent all day spooning with The Martin while watching his team sleepwalk to another victory. Their lackluster week was saved by Deangelo Williams 28pts but it was Arian Foster and his refusal to stand for the National Anthem that GM Tuck Tuck mentioned after the game "He was benched for a reason. We don't condone such behavior, but the men who have died for this country before us fought for his right to do just that". 

8. Prairie Village Monkeys (0-1)

For every great comeback win there is a loser who allowed it to happen. This week that loser resides in PV and goes by the name Pearcey Poo. The monkeys epic 18 pt defensive collapse had GM Pearce Wilson LIVID as he spent the entire post game press conference muttering "Too fat! Too Slow! More conditioning for the defense....(inaudible muttering)...fat...slow"

9. Huge Ditka's (0-1)

The Ditkas were welcomed to the KSFBFFL with an 18 pt beat down that was never as close as the score indicated. GM Matthew Settles is not worried "Devonta may not be what he was last year, but this first week doesn't scare me. I'm also excited about the possibilities Brandin Cooks will bring to the take and if Brandon Marshall can play to his potential the Ditkas will have a great second week against Puff Puff Auto Pass". ***Editors Note - Devonta was recently demoted to second string by the Falcons***

10. Polygamy Pounders (0-1)

Elder Horner was less than pleased with his teams performance in week 1 saying "The zero's put up by our TE and Flex players are troubling but we are focusing on what can be done in week 2. We need better from our starters". No mention about his confusion Sunday morning when he realized he Couldn't start both Cam Newton and Andy Dalton "Where I come from you can have both...at the same time"

11. Puff Puff Pass (0-1)

The Puff Puff Auto Pass's may be out of playoff contention before Tommy Braddy comes back from suspension. With Dez Bryant and LeSean McCoy at least he will have some decent trade pieces. 

12. Zipper Destroyers (0-1)

^^^^^This years Jason Stanley. Time to start trading away what meager pieces you have for the shot at being decent next year. 

2016 KSFBFFL Week 1 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country


Without further ado, here are you week 1 power rankings.




1. Slobb On My Cobb -

As the first GM to win 2 straight titles in the Modern Era alot of pundits are starting to compare Tristan Trupka to legendary Bama Coach Nick Saban giving him the moniker "Lil Nicky". The Cobb's don't appear to have much talent wise this year outside of Gronk but the odds are Lil Nicky knows something we dont.


2. Farve Dollar Footlongs

Worst to First? Its a possibility for the Footlongs this year as they took advantage of a plethora of extra draft picks. ESPN projects them as the highest scoring team in Week 1 but I am less than impressed with their squad. Their QB is 57 years old (Drew Brees) and their second best running back is a toss up between someone with the most carries in the past 8 years (Matt Forte) and someone splitting time in a 3 back system (CJ Anderson).

3. The Firechiefs

2013 Champion Justin VanKueser is hoping All Pro RB Adrian Peterson can keep his switch locked up for the next 6 months while he leads the Firechiefs to another championship. If the Firchiefs can avoid a slow start in the first 3 weeks the return of Le'Veon Bell will give this team the best RB duo in the league.

4. Keckism Killers

The Killers traded the house last year for a shot at the Title that has eluded Jason Stanley for his entire fantasy career. The team appears to have all the pieces they need this year led by Todd Gurley and 3 top 10 receivers from last year(Fitzgerald, Hopkins, Decker). The big unknown is how the Killers recent move from the safe suburbs to the inner city will effect their ability to game plan from week to week.

5. Raytown 3/5rs

Fresh faces abound for the 3/5rs after their relocation from Dixieland. This years squad hopes to make a splash in Raytown with the Dynamic Runningback duo of Doug Martin and Lamar Miller who were both top 6 backs last year. If his WR core of T.Y. Hilton and Mike Evans can play to their potential GM Ben Keck could bring home a record 3rd overall Title.

6. My Lucky Tate

The Tates have added another brain to their war room with the addition of lil charlie as a co-gm. They are betting big on bounceback years from Andrew Luck and Jordy Nelson but their running back core of Ryan Matthews and Lil Danny Woodhead may hold them back from serious contention.

7. I Touchdown There

GM Michael Brungy has been laid up in bed for months with a leg injury and this is the best team he could come up with? Aaron Rodgers should make decent trade bait around week 7 and maybe someone will throw an 8th round pick at David Johnson after he comes back to earth this year.

8. West Canaan Coyotes 

GM Matthew Settles joins the league this year taking over for long time cellar dweller Harry Poole. The coyotes do have last years #1 running back Dvonta Freeman and #3 WR Brandon Marshall but after that things look bleak with Tyrod Taylor starting at QB. Things could get rough for first time GM but better to take his lumps now and learn from the experience.

9. Polygamy Pounders 

The pounders are a perennial contender who made it all the way to the championship game last year but things are not looking great this year. Look for Cam Newton to be playing on the 3/5rs by week 8.

10. PV Porch Monkeys

Longtime bridesmaid Pearce McKinley is hoping the addition of Molly Wilson as Co-GM will get him over the hump. Other than Antonio Brown I just don't see alot of talent on this team. Their QB plays for Jacksonville which is basically a AAA franchise and their best RB will be second string by week 5. Could be a long year on W 70th St.

11. Zipper Destroyers 

The Zippers traded the farm last year for a shot at glory and are now paying the the price. They currently have 5 rookies on their roster as well as Jamaal Charles who recently underwent an experimental surgery to replace his knees with tennis balls and string cheese. Is this the year he finally has a fire sale and builds for next year?

12. Puff Puff Pass

GM Puff Meyers shocked everyone in 2013 with a playoff berth but it has been all downhill since then. His most recent draft included 2 QB's in the first 3 rounds and 2 TE's in the first 7 rounds. If captain Autodraft can turn this pile of shit into a playoff team he will lock up manager of the century.