2016 KSFBFFL Week 1 Power Rankings

Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country


Without further ado, here are you week 1 power rankings.




1. Slobb On My Cobb -

As the first GM to win 2 straight titles in the Modern Era alot of pundits are starting to compare Tristan Trupka to legendary Bama Coach Nick Saban giving him the moniker "Lil Nicky". The Cobb's don't appear to have much talent wise this year outside of Gronk but the odds are Lil Nicky knows something we dont.


2. Farve Dollar Footlongs

Worst to First? Its a possibility for the Footlongs this year as they took advantage of a plethora of extra draft picks. ESPN projects them as the highest scoring team in Week 1 but I am less than impressed with their squad. Their QB is 57 years old (Drew Brees) and their second best running back is a toss up between someone with the most carries in the past 8 years (Matt Forte) and someone splitting time in a 3 back system (CJ Anderson).

3. The Firechiefs

2013 Champion Justin VanKueser is hoping All Pro RB Adrian Peterson can keep his switch locked up for the next 6 months while he leads the Firechiefs to another championship. If the Firchiefs can avoid a slow start in the first 3 weeks the return of Le'Veon Bell will give this team the best RB duo in the league.

4. Keckism Killers

The Killers traded the house last year for a shot at the Title that has eluded Jason Stanley for his entire fantasy career. The team appears to have all the pieces they need this year led by Todd Gurley and 3 top 10 receivers from last year(Fitzgerald, Hopkins, Decker). The big unknown is how the Killers recent move from the safe suburbs to the inner city will effect their ability to game plan from week to week.

5. Raytown 3/5rs

Fresh faces abound for the 3/5rs after their relocation from Dixieland. This years squad hopes to make a splash in Raytown with the Dynamic Runningback duo of Doug Martin and Lamar Miller who were both top 6 backs last year. If his WR core of T.Y. Hilton and Mike Evans can play to their potential GM Ben Keck could bring home a record 3rd overall Title.

6. My Lucky Tate

The Tates have added another brain to their war room with the addition of lil charlie as a co-gm. They are betting big on bounceback years from Andrew Luck and Jordy Nelson but their running back core of Ryan Matthews and Lil Danny Woodhead may hold them back from serious contention.

7. I Touchdown There

GM Michael Brungy has been laid up in bed for months with a leg injury and this is the best team he could come up with? Aaron Rodgers should make decent trade bait around week 7 and maybe someone will throw an 8th round pick at David Johnson after he comes back to earth this year.

8. West Canaan Coyotes 

GM Matthew Settles joins the league this year taking over for long time cellar dweller Harry Poole. The coyotes do have last years #1 running back Dvonta Freeman and #3 WR Brandon Marshall but after that things look bleak with Tyrod Taylor starting at QB. Things could get rough for first time GM but better to take his lumps now and learn from the experience.

9. Polygamy Pounders 

The pounders are a perennial contender who made it all the way to the championship game last year but things are not looking great this year. Look for Cam Newton to be playing on the 3/5rs by week 8.

10. PV Porch Monkeys

Longtime bridesmaid Pearce McKinley is hoping the addition of Molly Wilson as Co-GM will get him over the hump. Other than Antonio Brown I just don't see alot of talent on this team. Their QB plays for Jacksonville which is basically a AAA franchise and their best RB will be second string by week 5. Could be a long year on W 70th St.

11. Zipper Destroyers 

The Zippers traded the farm last year for a shot at glory and are now paying the the price. They currently have 5 rookies on their roster as well as Jamaal Charles who recently underwent an experimental surgery to replace his knees with tennis balls and string cheese. Is this the year he finally has a fire sale and builds for next year?

12. Puff Puff Pass

GM Puff Meyers shocked everyone in 2013 with a playoff berth but it has been all downhill since then. His most recent draft included 2 QB's in the first 3 rounds and 2 TE's in the first 7 rounds. If captain Autodraft can turn this pile of shit into a playoff team he will lock up manager of the century.