120 Miles East of Gods Country
AND THEN ONLY 1 REMAINED
Over the summer Firechefs GM Justin VanHeche attempted to drink himself to death in order to avoid his upcoming nuptials.
Week 3 of KSFBFFL was everything anyone could of hoped for with the drama continuing late into Monday Night as the Tate's eeked out a 1 pt victory over the Touchdowns. After a shocking loss by the Footlongs The Firechefs of North OP emerged as the only undefeated team left despite never scoring more than 86 points and declining every week. With 10/12 teams at either 1-2 or 2-1 week 4 should separate the wheat from the chaff.
1. Farve Dollar Footlongs 2-1
With a shocking loss to the previously win less pounders the footlongs dropped from the ranks of the unbeaten. When asked why he kept Jeremy Hill and his 21pts on the bench GM Steve Murphy said there is no one to blame but him and mentioned Hill could be in play for a starting spot next week "We have some tough decisions this week as all 4 RB's are worthy of a starting spot. Blount and CJ are locked in, will come down to either Forte or Hill for the flex start". The footlongs will need all hands on deck this week as they hope to take down the undefeated Firechefs.
2. Keckism Killers 2-1
Is there a QB Controversy brewing in the crossroads? Starting QB Ben Rapelesberger continues to put up pedestrian numbers while stud frat star Matthew Stafford keeps lighting up the bench. GM Jason Stanley admits he has been impressed with Staffords big play potential which is something his team needs. "We have been very consistent scoring in the 90's every week but never breaking 100. We have some options but at this point we aren't worried. We will make the playoffs and anything can happen once there".
3. Huge Ditka's 2-1
If the season ended today the expansion Ditka's would have a first round bye as champions of the All Lives Matter Division. GM Matthew Settles is riding high on his 2 game win streak but admits there is still work to do "I feel like we are starting to play like a team. Except for the WR's...A combined 7 points from all 3 is unacceptable and will not stand against the teams coming up. Hopefully GM Jason Stanley keeps his kicker on the bye week in the lineup and I have a chance at a 3rd win in a row"
4. The Firechefs 3-0
When it comes to overachieving the undefeated Firechefs are certainly a team that comes to mind. They have the 3rd lowest pt total (78 ppg) but have taken down all comers so far this year. We reached out to GM Justin VanKeuser for his thoughts on this weeks matchup against childhood rival Steve Murphy "There really isn't alot of motivation needed considering that Susan Murphy is my rival. We also get our leader back in LeDevan Bell. The fact that we are 3-0 when we haven't even hit our stride yet shows the mental toughness of our team. We are welcoming Vin Diesel into the locker room this thursday to provide the pre game speech to our team to reiterate that it doesn't matter if you win by a mile or an inch, all that matters is winning"
5. Zipper Destroyers 2-1
The Zippers shocked the 3/5rs last week with a 12 pt victory last week on the back of Marvin Jones 32 pt performance. GM Matt Murphy was not happy though and traded next years 5th round pick for Monkeys WR Kelvin Benjamin. "I plan to make him WR2 next to the surging Allen Robinson" he said "Marvin Jones is getting bumped to the flex giving the zippers a top 3 WR core". We have seen this before though as the dawg traded his 3rd/4th picks in 2014 and his 4th 5th 6th round picks last year all without a title to show.
6. Raytown 3/5rs 2-1
"It was shocking, losing to a team like the Destroyers, we thought we were better" GM Benjamin William Keck IV said at his post game press conference. What isn't shocking is that this team once again failed to score 100 points. Look for the 3/5rs to pay closer attention to Injury reports this week as they left TY Hilton and his 23pts on the bench.
7. My Lucky Tate's 1-2
A last second pt on Monday Night football propelled the Tate's over the Touchdowns last week and GM Casey Wayne Walker knew who to thank "We just thank GOD for the win this week and look forward to hosting the rebuilding Monkeys this week". "Every week is a new opportunity" he continued, "We have had some injuries but have to adjust, our talented WR's have bailed out our struggling QB and that needs to change."
8. I Touchdown There 1-2
The Touchdowns suffered a last second meltdown last week and all of a sudden find themselves in dire straights despite having the 2nd most total points. With Aaron Rodgers on a bye this week the Touchdowns face a must win next week against the Pounders. GM Mike Gomez understands the importance of this weeks matchup saying "Its very important. We have all the right pieces in place its just a matter of executing. We are confident that we will get on track this week."
9. Polygamy Pounders 1-2
After shocking the world last week by taking down the #1 Footlongs Pounders GM Keene Cheese also realizes the importance of this weeks matchup against the Touchdowns. I spoke with him briefly and asked if a loss means its time to rebuild, "No doubt its a pivotal week for sure, You can say that for both teams, 2-2 is something that can be built on, 1-3 is a deep, deep hole"
10. Slobb on My Cobb 1-2
Reigning Champion Tristan Trupka also faces a do or die matchup this week against the 3/5rs. Unfortunately for him 2 starters are on bye leaving him to scour the waiver wire. GM Trupka realizes what a loss may mean for his hopes for a 3 peat and when asked if he would consider a rebuild if the Cobbs lose he despondently responded, "Afraid So".
11. PV Monkeys 1-2
It's rebuild time on W 70th street as GM Molly McKinley has begun trading away pieces for draft picks. WR Kelvin Benjamin was the first casualty but Antonio Brown expects to fetch the biggest bounty. When asked why he decided to rebuild so early in the year he said "We lost some important pieces for the year last week. We had an offer on the table we felt comfortable with and don't believe our team will be a championship contender this year. Sometimes its best to take 1 step back to take 2 steps forward"
12. Puff Puff Auto Pass 0-3
GM Austin Meyers declined to respond to inquiries from BWKNBNC and still has not paid his dues.
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