140 Miles East of God's Country
Week 10 Power Rankings
1. Raytown 3/5rs (7-2)
“It wasn’t pretty but we took care of business and got the W
against the hapless Footlongs” head ball coach Lady said. This week should be a
little tougher as they face off with the Firechefs in what some people are
calling “The Rumble on 75th St”. With Kareem Hunt on bye Lady is
looking for some big production from a recently healthy Rob Kelley saying “We
feel good about him in there. He is now healthy and the clear #1 in Washington,
his 2 TD’s last week showed that he is a talented player”. The 3/5rs have all
but locked up a playoff spot and are now gunning for the #1 overall seed.
2. Keckism Killers (5-4)
The Killers led the KSFBFFL in points last week and seem to
have found their stride after a couple midseason struggles. With the best RB
threesome in the league the Killers main problem has been staying focused and
beating the teams they should beat (Losses to KKK/Deadbeats) but GM Jason
“Aces” Stanley is not worried. “Our guys are ready to make the push and expect
to be drinking champagne out of The Martin in Late December” He remarked. “I
like the way the playoffs are shaping up and we know the only team that can
beat us is ourselves”
3. The Huge Ditkas (5-4)
Chicagoland is buzzing about the Ditkas after they topped
100 points each of the last 2 weeks and Coach Settles thinks they have reason
to be excited “Key players such as Alshon and Kamara are hitting on all
cylinders right now. Look for us to be even more commanding vs the struggling
footlongs in the next game” he said. The Ditkas also welcome back RB Louise
Fournette after his one game suspension for missing a team picture.
4. Porch Monkeys (7-2)
If the season ended now the Monkeys would be the 2 seed but
the loss of Deshaun Watson is weighing heavy in the locker room. GM Pearcey Poo
Wilson thinks that Matty Ice can fill the void left by Deshaun “The pressure is
back on Matty Ice, this was his team before and its his team again. We are
going to sink or swim based on how he can handle the pressure”. The Monkeys
should make the playoffs but face an incredibly hard end to the season with the
Cobbs/Killers/3/5rs and Ditkas all coming up.
5. Slobb on My Cobb (5-4)
The Cobbs are hanging on to the final playoff spot by a
thread thanks to an ugly 60-47 win over the Touchdowns. “We got lucky this
week. Will need better effort next week against the Monkeys” Newly minted
Eudora resident Tristan Trupka remarked. The Cobbs running back core has been
terrible this year so its going to be on Tyreek, Julio and Dak to lead this
team to the playoffs.
6. The Firechefs (5-4)
On the outside of the playoff picture looking in the
Firechefs know that time is running out “Our players are aware of the urgency
of the playoff situation and know they need to play their hearts out in order
to give our fans a playoff birth” Coach Van Kueser said. “At this point we just
have to utilize the players we have and play at the best of our ability”.
Unfortunately for the Firechefs their players don’t have much ability as they
have not scored 100 points during any game this year.
7. Puff Puff Pass (4-5)
GM Puff Meyers was noticeably upset after his loss to the Monkeys last week “We let one slip through our fingers, nobody to blame but the GM” He said “Poor handling of the lineup left a lot of points on the bench. Back to the drawing board for a strong finish to the season”. Luckily for the Puff’s they have what some consider the easiest remaining schedule left with games against the KKK/Deadbeats/Footlongs before finishing the year with the Firechefs. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Puffs end the year at 7-6 with a shot at the playoffs.
8. Zipper Destroyers (4-5)
Despite all his wheeling and dealing at the deadline the
Destroyers lost again last week and have been dealing with a lot of drama
lately due to AJ and Zeke. “It certainly doesn’t help. AJ is a veteran and
leader on this team and we expect more out of him. That ejection was the
difference in our game. Doug Baldwin called for a players only meeting this
morning to press the urgency that we need to win out” Coach Murphy remarked.
The Destroyers have 2 gimmes coming up against the footlongs and deadbeats
before taking on the Firechefs and Touchdowns to end the season.
9. I Touchdown There (5-4)
What has gone wrong in the big D?!? After a 5-1 start the
Touchdowns have dropped 3 straight and looked dead in the water last week
putting up a measley 47 points in a loss to the Cobbs. If that is not bad
enough the Touchdown’s next 3 games are against the top 3 teams in the power
rankings. Coach Brungy didn’t seem fazed though “We always beat the 3/5rs so
that’s one win, all we have to do is pickup another W against the
killers/ditkas/destroyers and we are in the playoffs”.
10. Kaibob Kangol Krew (3-6)
The Krew are still fighting and are actually 3-2 over their
last 5 games. Look for them to knock off at least one more team before the year
is over.
11. Deadbeat Darryls (2-7)
The Darryls have no paid and are free to change their name
to whatever they like.
12. Farve Dollar Footlongs (2-7)
Is it time for a rebranding to get the stench off after this
terrible year?
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