Looking at you through your window now....
PV Monkeys Skyrocket up the rankings!
PV Monkeys Playboy Owner Pearce McKinley Celebrates His 8-2 Start with Cocaine, lots of cocaine.
The 2017 rendition of K-States Finest Bros Fantasy Football League is coming down to an exciting end with 9 of 12 teams still .500 or above. The PV Monkeys and the Raytown 3/5rs are the class of the league at 8-2 and seem destined for first round byes. A step below them and its a like a bull in a china shop, just absolute mayhem as 7 teams fight for the 4 remaining playoff spots.
Without further adoo here are the week 11 Power Rankings.
1. Raytown 3/5rs (8-2)
It was business as usual last week as the 3/5rs earned their 8th Win of the season. “Kirk and Greg both had a hell of a game and we are going to need the same type of performance from them next week” Coach Lady Said referencing their HUGE matchup with the Touchdowns. Since joining the league in 2012 the Touchdowns have beat the 3/5rs 7 out of 8 times but Lady isn’t fazed “This is only my second year as a coach so I can’t comment on what happened before. What I can comment on is that the Touchdowns are a trash team, and a trash organization led by a coach who has yet to win a playoff game (Drops mic)”
2. PV Monkeys (8-2)
Time to give the Monkeys the respect they deserve after a 21pt beat down of the cobbs. Christian McCaffrey is finally playing like the 3rd round pick he was and has put up double digit totals the last 2 weeks. The Monkeys matchup this week is the desperate Killers who need a win to stay in the playoff Hunt. GM Pearce McKinney says that while all games count the same this one means a little more “The Monkeys and Killers always enjoy each other’s failure. It dates back to the days when their GMs would wait in hiding for hours to scare the opposing GM into Peeing their pants”.
3. Huge Ditka’s (6-4)
Despite putting up 101 pts in a win last week Ditka’s dropped a spot to make room for the red hot Monkeys. GM Matthew “Button” Settle is not worried tho “I feel good for the end of our season. Since our week seven slump we have been consistently rising with 3 100+ point games in a row.” RB Alvin Kamara has been a HUGE part of that putting up double digits in each of the last 4 games. A first round bye may be out of the picture for the Ditkas due to their remaining schedule “We have a tough road ahead against some of the top teams to end the season”
4. I Touchdown There (6-4)
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Cam Newton. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Lesean McCoy. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Carlos Hyde. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Here is coach Brungardt with a comment "Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb"
5. Slobb on My Cobb (5-5)
Two time KSFBFFL Champion Tristan Trupka has guided his team to a 5-5 record but finishes out the season with 3 teams deep in the rebuilding process. "The Cobbs opponents over the next 3 weeks represent the bottom of the league. Game plan will be to get fat and hope to come out on top of the Chaos" Coach Moose said. With Touchdown Tom rocketing the ball around the field to Julio and Tyreek the Cobbs will be a force if they can grab a playoff spot.
6. Puff Puff Pass (5-5)
Coach Puff led his team to a league high 69 points last week but was till not happy "There are still concerns with our running backs. All 3 on byes this week but we are confident we can pick up wins over the next 2 weeks setting up a must win against the FireChefs in week 13" he said referencing his upcoming games against the Deadbeats and Footlongs before finishing by saying "Never ever have 2 RB's from the Jets. Thats my biggest takeaway from this season".
7. Keckism Killers (5-5)
The Killers have a large advantage over the Puffs and Cobbs in total points but they face a tough matchup this week against the RED HOT Monkeys. "I don't really have much to say" Despondent coach Boo said "Historically speaking the Monkeys are a better program than us. More wins, more playoff appearances, more playoff wins. They are what we aspire to be". If the Killers can somehow manage to knock off the Monkeys they can coast into a playoff spot by winning their last 2 games against the KKK and Deadbeats.
8. Zipper Destroyers (5-5)
Locked into a similar scenario as the Killers is the Zipper Destroyers. They have plenty of points but have to finish the season against the Touchdowns and FireChefs without Star RB Zeke McZeke. "He is working with the zippers legal team to get his suspension down to 4 games. We expect he will suit up for week 14" Zippers GM Scooby Doo opined hopefully. Soon after that statement the courts ruled that the entire 6 game suspension is being upheld much to the chagrin of Scooby Doo. "Whatever" He said "Black Jordy will carry the load. We are deep and do not depend on any one player"
9. The FireChefs (5-5)
Lurking on the outside of the Playoff picture with no gimmes left on their schedule the FireChefs have been demoralized after their Coach Juice VanHeche was caught on a hot mike saying "My team fucking sucks". It seems like the only thing they have left to look forward to is spoiling a playoff spot for one of the teams above.
10. Kaibob Kangol Krew (3-7)
Keane is to cool for Groupme now that he has a GF and doesn't actually read this so I'm not going to bother giving my opinion on his shitty ass team.
11. Farve Dollar Footlongs (2-8)
The Footlongs put a scare in the Ditkas last week when they put up 86 Points. Look for them to sneak up and win at least 1 of their next 3 games.
12. Deadbeat Darryls (2-8)
You should bring Chuck to Friendsgiving.
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