All Time Rankings(Football)

We hear the talk all the time.

"Your a shit fantasy owner" "Your team is hot garbage who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag"

"Did Stevie Wonder pick your team?"

"I hope you have retarded children"

But how do we know who the best fantasy owner really is? Is it the team with the most titles? The team that has made the playoffs every year? What about the crap teams at the bottom of the league? Is Pearce really a better GM than Casey?

Thankfully your faithful GM's Ben Keck and Stevie Murphy took some time out of their busy days of PornHub/GoEmaw/Banging Chicks(Steve)/Rosterbating to rank every fantasy owner.

Quick Scoring Breakdown

Low is good.

Each team is assigned a score from 1-12 in 4 categories with the highest ranked team receiving a 1 and the lowest ranked team receiving a 12. If there is a tie that cannot be easily decided both teams are awarded the same number.

Each category is weighted with importance, Total championships count for 40% of your total score while Winning Percentage/Points Per Year/Playoff Win Percentage each count for 20%.

A perfect score would be 1.25.

Add everything up and we have a good overall picture of just who the best Fantasy GM's are....and some of the results may SHOCK YOU.


Overall Stats

Championships 40% of score

1.       Ben Keck – 2* (2008/9)

2.       Steve Murphy – 1 (2012)

3.       Keane Horner – 1 (2011)

The first category we chose was championships...everyone knows you can't be #1 without winning a title so we made this category worth 40% of your total score. Ben Ji has the tie breaker over Steve and Keane due to his helms title from 2008. ***2010 Title was destroyed in a Terrorist Attack***

Scoring Example- Ben Ji received a 1, Steve/Keane received a 2, Everyone else received a 4. 

Win % 20% of score

1.       Steve Murphy – .673

2.       Keane Horner – .654

3.       Matt Murphy – .641

4.       Mike Brungardt – .538^

5.       Justin VanHecke – .500

6.       Jason Stanley – .481

7.       Austin Meyers – .462^

8.       Ben Keck – .423

9.       Pearce McKinley – .410

10.   Casey Walker – .385

11.   Harrison Poole – .365

12.   Tristan Trupka – .359

Since we have had a couple expansion/relocation's after the Terrorist attacks of 2010 we decided to use winning percentage over total wins in order adequately represent our new owners. The big surprise here is that two time champion Ben Ji Keck has a below .500 career record. 

Total Points (Per Year Avg.) 20% of score

1.       Keane Horner – 1,236

2.       Matt Murphy – 1,198

3.       Steve Murphy – 1,173

4.       Casey Walker – 1,148

5.       Pearce McKinley – 1,132

6.       Jason Stanley – 1,120

7.       Justin VanHecke – 1,118

8.       Austin Meyers – 1,115^

9.       Mike Brungardt – 1,105^

10.   Ben Keck – 1,103

11.   Tristan Trupka – 1,083

12.   Harrison Poole – 1,019

Look at ole Casey Wayne up there at #4, pretty impressive for a team that has never made the playoffs...Maybe his teams have been snake bitten all these years?

Playoff W/L (Appearance %) 20% of score*Bye's count as W's

1.       Ben Keck – 3-1 (50%)

2.       Keane Horner – 5-3 (100%)

3.       Steve Murphy – 4-3 (100%)

4.       Matt Murphy – 3-3 (100%)

5.       Harrison Poole – 1-1 (25%)

6.       Justin VanHecke – 1-2 (50%)

7.       Jason Stanley – 0-1 (25%)

8.       Mike Brungardt – 0-1 (100%)^

9.       Pearce McKinley – 0-0 (0%)

10.   Tristan Trupka - 0-0 (0%)

11.   Casey Walker - 0-0 (0%)

12.   Austin Meyers - 0-0 (0%)^

The best teams get the job done when the money is on the line.


Final Rankings

#1 Keane Horner -2.2

Apparently there is nothing else to do in Utah besides Roster-Bate and drink 3.2 beer. GM Keane Horner has become the top GM in the league by way of never missing the playoffs and winning the title back in 2011.

#2 Steve Murphy- 2.8

Ole Sven Murphy is right up there with Cheese in his Manic dedication to the Craft of Fantasy Football. Just like Cheese he has made the playoffs every year and took the title back to Kansas last year. Great work all around Stevie.

#3 Matt Murphy- 4.1

Our first big surprise has the Raw Dawg Matt Murphy sitting pretty at #3. While the Dawg has never won a title he has made the playoffs and won a game each of his 3 years. Could this be the year the Dawg finally escapes from his kennel?

#4 Ben Keck- 6.05

The good news is that 2013 is an odd year and ole Ben Ji seems to excel in odd years. In 2009 he won the title and in 2011 he was the #1 seed before losing in the semifinals to Keene.  The bad news is that his teams have been a bucket of fetid sewage in even years taking last overall in 2010 and 2012.


#5 Justin Van Heche- 6.8

The definition of Average here Justin has gone 6-7/7-6/7-6/6-7 the past 4 years. Hopefully the promotion of Strength & Conditioning coach Brook Kaiser to Offensive Coordinator will allow them to compete at a new level.

#6 Jason Stanley- 7.1

Stans Stans Stans Stans. With only 1 winning season in 4 years its a wonder you are this high on the list.

#7 Mike Brungardt- 7.4

Mikey Gomez joined the league last year and has a solid 7-6 performance. A couple more good years and he could find himself a lil higher up in the rankings.

#8 Pearce McKinley- 8

3 years with no playoff appearances....At least last year was his first winning season!


#8 Casey Walker- 8

Despite averaging the 4h most points per year the Walkers have yet to have a winning season or make the playoffs. Stephanie Walker has vowed that will change this fall as she brings her Dixie mind to the organization.

#10 Austin Meyers- 8.3

Despite going 6-7 in his inaugural year the Puff Puff Pass's are pretty low on this list.

#11 Harrison Poole- 9.8

Despite going 8-5 last year Harrison Poole is near the bottom of the list after 2 disastrous years on 2010 and 2011.

#12 Tristan Trupka- 10.7

3 Years of Frustration can provide alot of momentum on a swing.

2013 Week 1 Power Rankings

Fire Bill Snyder(Unless Sams plays alot and we win)


1. 50 Shades of Taint- Steve Murphy

The Taints take the first spot atop the power rankings this year as the reigning champion. The key player from that championship run, Adrian Peterson, returns as well hoping to join the Dixieland 3/5'rs as the only team to win BACK 2 BACK titles. If Grandpa Gore and Uncle Welker can stay healthy this team has a chance at that goal.

Key Player- Giovani Benard. No idea who this guy is but for some reason Stevie thinks his shit dont stink.

2. Dixieland Three Fifthers- Ben Ji Keck

The 3/5'rs had a rough go last year but look to bounce back behind a superb stable of Running Backs including Alfred Morris, Trent Richardson and David Wilson. Starting QB Matthew Stafford is primed for a come back year and is excited to sling the rock to newly acquired recievers Dwayne Bowe and Brandon Marshal "Yeah should be cool I guess, now leave me alone dude" he said.

Key Player- David Wilson. With the pre-season Injury to Andre Ware, Wilson will look to make big things POP as the every down back. 

3. DezRespect Your Mother- Casey McIntosh

Is this the year Casey Wayne breaks through and makes the playoffs? Stud RB's Doug Martin and Jamal Charles say yes! If Andrew Luck has another stellar year and Lil Danny Amendola become's the new Wes Welker up in New England this team could be a threat to win the WHOLE DAM THING.

Key Player- Lamar Miller. Miller was recently named the starter in Miami, if he can become a top 20 back.....

4. The FireChefs- Justin Van Heche

Is this a 7 on 7 league? One would think so after looking at the this teams roster. Stud QB Peyton Manning Molloy should find plenty of open recievers between Calvin/Andre Johnson and Jordy Nelson. Who will run the ball though?

Key Player- Reggie Bush. Bush hopes a move to Detroit will help get the taste of Kayne's Dick out of his mouth.

5. Matt Millen Is My GM- Jason Scott Stanley

Can we just rename your squad "Running Backs Need Not Apply"? Luckily for Mr. Stans he's got Drew Bree's slinging the Rock to Julio Jones and AJ Yellow. If Darren McFadden can stay healthy team "Running Backs Need Not Apply" could win the first ever title for GM Stans The Man.

Key Player- DARRYL Richardson. Never heard of the guy but he has a cool name.


6. I Touchdown There- Mike Brungy(I can never remember how to spell your last name)

The Touchdown's hope new RB Steven Jackson has enough in the tank to complement super stud back CJ Spiller. If Jackson can't produce Brungy will have to hope Matt Ryan connects with Victor Cruz for some long touchdowns.

Key Player- Eddie Lacy. Lacy will be the starter in GB and could be primed for a great rookie season.

7. West Canaan Coyotes- Harri Houdini

This ball club could be a contender if everything falls in to place....C2K bounces back...Tony G still has it.....He finds a QB......Demarco Murray stays healthy......but right now there are too many question marks

Key Player- Demarco Murray. Plays for Cowboys, ask wayne about him or something.

8. Johnny Footballs- Tristan & Jenny Trupka

GM Jenny Trupka expects big things from starting QB Cam Newton this year and hopes he can carry the teams geriatrics(Ray Rice, Steve Smith) on his back.

Key Player- Montee Ball. Big fat guy from wisconsin, supposedly starting in denver.

9. Polygamy Pounders- Cheese Horner

Woof, Matt Forte/Dez Bryant/Larry Fitzgerald are the only proven performers on the team. Looks to be a rough year for socks in the Horner Household.

Key Player- Collin Kapernick. Dude sucks so bad the Coyotes cut him right after the draft.

10. Raw Dawg- Matt "Pooches" Murphy

Here is a picture of starting QB Robert Griffin's Knee

Arian Foster and MJD should be at an old folks home not on a roster...and Reggie Wayne should be dead.

Key Player- Mike Vick. If Mike D can ride Vick to a Title anything is possible for the Dawgs if Vick reclaims his 2011 form.

11. Puff Puff Pass- Austin Meyers

Besides Tom Brady this team pretty much sucks, A+ draft grade or not. If the Puff's want to make it to the playoffs they will need Lesean "Shady" McCoy to lock it the fuck up because he certainly didnt do that last year when he fucked over my entire team by being a little cry baby bitch and maybe he's not the only reason my squad won 3 games but fuck if i cant blame it all on his peice of shit bowlegged frame.

Key Player-Rashad Mendenhall. Sucked in Pittsburgh, will prob suck in Arizona as well.

12. Team McKinney- Pearce "Blouse" McKinney

Keeping Ridley was dumb but starting Micheal Bush opposite him was dumber. Look for GM Pearce Pearce to start dismantling his squad for draft picks around week 7.

Key Player- Stevie Ridley. I dare you to prove me wrong.

2013 Fantasy Baseball Playoff Breakdown

Locks-
These teams are looking to take care of business this week to improve their seeding in the playoffs.

Paddle Your Own Cano (13-8)- The Cano's face off against the Buttlicks this week with the #1 playoff seed on the line.  The Cano's own the tiebreaker over the Fisters and will be the #1 seed with a win, if they lose and the Fisters lose they will be the #2 seed.

Billy Buttlicks (13-8) - The Buttlicks are in the same boat as the Cano's but do not hold a tiebreaker over the Fisters. If the Buttlicks and Fisters both win the Buttlicks will be the #2 Seed.

Furbush Fisters (13-8)- The Fisters have a tough challenge this week against Rebel Yell but if they win they still have a chance at the top playoff spot as long as the Cano's lose. If they lose and The Buttlicks lose they will have the Tiebreaker and take the #2 seed.

PV Predators (11-10)- Might as well pencil the predators into the playoffs as they have an easy matchup against the Elephants this week, if they win they will be the #4 seed. If they lose they could fall all the way to a 5/6 seed if  Rebel Yell and The Los Gringos Blancos both Win. Luckily for GM Old Man River they hold the tie breaker over the the Pooches so even with a loss they will still make the playoffs.

Work Left To Do-

The midseason Tie between the Blancos and Yell makes this pretty easy.

Rebel Yell (10-10-1)- Win and they are in. If Rebel Yell chokes this week they will need either a Blanco's or Pooche's loss to make the playoffs.

Los Gringos Blancos (10-10-1)- Win and they are in. If The Blanco's choke on a Kapernick sized cock they will have to hope the Pooches lose as well since Rebel Yell holds the Tiebreak over them.

Penn Valley Pooches (10-11) - A midseason ownership change reinvigorated the Pooches but they still need some help to make the playoffs. If they win and either Rebel Yell or Los Gringos Blanco's lose then they will live to play another week.


Projected Seeding

#1 Winner of Cano/Buttlicks or Fisters if Buttlicks win and Fisters win
#2 Loser of Cano/Buttlicks or Fisters
#3 Loser of Cano/Buttlicks or Fisters
#4 PV Predators
#5 Rebel Yell
#6 Los Gringos Blancos

2013 League of Extraordinary Men Playoff Preview

With 5 games left in the 2013 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is a giant clusterfuck of Mediocrity that would make Mizzou fans blush. The only team that looks like a lock for the playoffs started out the year 0-3 and the team that started 5-0 is currently 1 game above .500. To make matters even more confusing Three of the Four Highest scoring teams last week(Blanco’s, HBT’s, Yell) wouldn’t even make the playoffs if they started today.

Let’s take a look how these teams sort out and their chances for making the playoffs.

Ticket Punched

Furbush Fisters (11-6)-

Despite scoring 417 pts last week the Fisters squandered a 100+ pt lead in the final day and lost a close ne to Rebel Yell. If Trout and Fernandez keep playing like stud’s the Fisters should have no problem from here on out including 2 gimmes against the Elephants and HBT’s.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Crocs- W

HBT- W

Billy Buttlicks-L

Team Elephant- W

Rebel Yell- L

Anything Could Happen

Billy Buttlicks (9-8)-

The Buttlicks faced the Cano’s last week and ended up on the wrong side of the Cripple Fight losing by 5pt. Their schedule toughens up a bit this week when the scorching hot Blanco’s come to town. Big rematch against the Cano’s to end the season.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Los Gringos Blanco’s- L

Penn Valley Pooches- W

Furbush Fisters- W

PV Predators- W

Paddle Your Own Cano-L

Paddle Your Own Cano (9-8)-

This team is 4-8 over their last 12 games and seem to be tailing off as we reach the dog days of Summer. They were able to eek out a win last week against the Buttlicks and really need a breather this week against the Elephants.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Team Elephant- W

Rebel Yell- L

Crocs In Florida-L

Hidden Ball Tricks- W

Billy Buttlicks- W

Crocs In Florida (9-8)-

All is not well in Allen Bairds office after a pitiful 210pt performance this week. With the 1^st place Fisters coming to town this week the Crocs may want to stock up on some Astro Glide.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Furbush Fisters- L

PV Predators- W

Paddle Your Own Cano- W

Los Gringos Blanco’s- L

Penn Valley Pooches- L

Penn Valley Pooches (9-8)-

The Pooches coasted to an Easy W last week despite not playing well. Rumor has it that 1B Eric Hosmer attributes his second half turn around to being on a tight lease after partying a bit too much in April and May.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Hidden Ball Tricks- L

Billy Buttlicks- L

Team Elephant- W

Rebel Yell- W

Crocs In Florida- W

Los Gringos Blanco’s (8-8-1)-

The Blanco’s put the league on notice last week with their 470pt performance. They certainly have some work to do if they want to make the playoffs but GM Keane Horner knows what it takes to win a championship.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Billy Buttlicks- W

Team Elephant- L

Rebel Yell- W

Crocs in Florida-W

Hidden Ball Tricks-L

Rebel Yell (8-8-1)-

Rebel Yell appears to have recovered from their recent swoon and knocked off the 1^st place Fisters with a furious Sunday Rally. The schedule doesn’t cut them any breaks to end the year but Starting Pitchers Jake Peavy and Max Scherzer plans to drag this team to the playoffs on their backs.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

PV Predators- W

Paddle Your Own Cano- W

Los Gringos Blanco- L

Crocs in Florida- W

Furbush Fisters- W

PV Predators (8-9)-

The Predators took a tough L last week against The Elephants that may just cost GM Harrison Poole a chance at the playoffs. They have 2 gimme’s to round out the year and need to beat Yell,Crocs or Buttlicks if they want to make something happen in September.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Rebel Yell- L

Crocs in Florida- L

Hidden Ball Tricks- W

Billy Buttlicks- L

Team Elephant- W

Down But Not Out

Hidden Ball Tricks (7-10)-

What to Make of the Ball Tricks? They put up 400pts last week but could not secure the W against the Blanco’s. While they still control their own destiny they pretty much need to win out if they want a shot and hoisting hardware over their head this year.

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Penn Valley Pooches- W

Furbush Fisters- L

PV Predators- L

Paddle Your Own Cano- L

Los Gringos Blanco’s- W

Better Luck Next Year

Team Elephant (6-11)-

VEGAS?!?

Upcoming Schedule and Prediction-

Paddle Your Own Cano- L

Los Gringos Blanco’s- W

Penn Valley Pooches- L

Furbush Fisters- L

PV Predators- L

Projected Final Finish

1. Furbush Fisters- (14-8)

2. Rebel Yell- (12-9-1)

3. Paddle Your Own Cano- (12-10) Head to Head Tie breaker over Buttlicks

4. Billy Buttlicks- (12-10)

5. Los Gringos Blanco’s- (11-10-1)

6. Penn Valley Pooches- (11-11) Head to Head Tie breaker over Crocs

7. Crocs in Florida- (11-11)

8. PV Predators- (10-12)

9. Hidden Ball Tricks- (9-12)

10. Team Elephant- (7-15)

Weed 14 Power Rankings

WEEK 14 POWER RANKINGS

We have a surprise team on top this week the 8-4 Furbush Fisters. We caught up with GM "Juice" Van Heche on the way to the clubhouse this week and asked him a couple of questions.

 First of all Congratulation on taking the top spot of the BWKNBNC Week 14 power rankings. Has this been a goal of your team since the season started?

 I don't think any of the teams in this league made it their goal to be in first place this early in the season.  Our goal is to hoist the trophy at the end of the season.  There are no trophies to be won in week 13.  We have a lot of work left to do and believe that our best baseball is still ahead of us. 

Your ball club started out 0-3 and seemed to have given up on the season before Brook was promoted to co GM. What kind of presence does she bring to the dugout?

Well Ben, she has brought the cooking skills that have allowed our players to eat like fucking kings.  Oh and steriods...

Since the 0-3 start the Fisters are 8-1 despite lacking any certifiable STUD starters. How  have you been able to overcome this during your current streak?

We preach the concept of TEAM in our clubhouse.  We feel that the great chemistry in the clubhouse and the dugout is a big key to our success.  Throughout the season it seems like when some of our guys are in slumps the rest of the team is there to pick them up.  We don't have a lot of power and RBI potential on our team, but what we lack in that area we have more than made up for it in stolen bases.  Fuck it lets be honest, our lineup stinks worse than Annie Thompson's pussy on a hot summer night at PNL.  We are just going to have to continue to count on our pitching and timely hitting.

 Some media members have pointed out that the Fisters have had the lowest amount of points scored on them all season and believe that their current hot streak is merely a mirage. What do you have to say to all the haterz out there?

Ben we don't worry about what we can't control.  We are simply working on getting better everyday.  Our good fortune may run out, but again thats not something we can worry about.  As long as we continue to play well and play with excellent fundamentals I believe we will be successful.

It looks like the Fisters have a lot of players on the DL right now. Any chance we see they make a move to acquire a fresh body?

We have been working late scouring the waiver wire and have been on the phones constantly working on some trades.  We have both David Price and Jose Reyes coming back by the end of the month so we feel that those two will give our team a nice boost as we approach the all-star break.  I believe that any team in the league would love to be adding those two in the middle of the season.  David was flat out awful before he got hurt but we are confident that he will return to his Cy Young form sooner than later.  Jose was outstanding before he got hurt so we are looking for him to pick up where he left off.

Here is this week’s Power Rankings

 "STUD'S"

1. Furbush Fisters (8-4) – Juice Christine

A new top dog this week as the Fisters have risen to the top after starting the season in the dawg house of the power rankings. The Fisters may have the fewest points scored against them of any team but until someone knocks them off they are on top.

2. Paddle Your Own Cano (7-5) - Sven Murphy

The Cano's of hit a bit of a rough patch losing 2/3 including a soul crushing loss this week against the Elephants. This team is still putting up impressive point totals but could do without Jeremy Guthrie's negative 17 points.

3. Billy Buttlicks (7-5) - Schooon McGooooooooon

The Buttlicks had a nice comeback win last week against Rebel Yell and put up an impressive 360 pts. You might not hear much about this team since I haven't seen owner Schoon McGoon since KSU Bball season but believe me, they can still play some ball.

4. Rebel Yell (6-6) - Benjamin William Keck

Rebel Yell has been sliding lately losing their last two games. We reached out to GM Benjamin William Keck to see what's going on.

"The fact of the matter is we have been racked by injuries. Two top 30 starters are on the DL and we just got Micheal Cuddyer back, we'll be fine come payday in september"

5 . Crocs In Florida (6-6)- Allan Baird

The crocs have clawed their way back to .500 on the backs of Adam Wainwright and Patrick Corbin. They face a tough matchup this week against Rebel Yell and their championship winning GM Benjamin William Keck.

"PUD'S"

6. Hidden Ball Tricks (5-7) - Blouse McKinney

The Pudly HBT's wouldn't be in the playoffs if the season ended today but GM Blouse McKinney appears to have righted his sinking ship despite a close loss to the Crocs last week.

They have a tough matchup against the up and down Elephants this week but should be able to eke out a victory.

  

7. Team Elephant (5-7) - Casey McIntosh

THE ELEPHANTS, SMOKIN HOT RIGHT NOW, 407 POINTS, WOOOO WEEE, HOT DAMN, ZIMMERMAN AND GARZA THROWING HEAT, HEAT I TELL YOU, CHRIS DAVIS SMACKIN HOME RUNS, GIGGITY, BAM, AMAZING!

8. PV Predators (6-6) - Old Man River

Its finger pointing time on 73rd ter as the Predators are slumping. GM Old Man River was last seen dropping his drawers when he heard it was finger pointing time.

9. Los Gringo's Blancos (5-7) - Cheese Horner

¿De verdad sólo traducir esto a leer algo de queso? Su equipo está caliente la basura y sus calcetines son por la costra con los restos de los mil hijos por nacer.

10. Penn Valley Pooches (5-7) - The Dawg

Suuppppppppppp

Week 12 Power Rankings

WEEK 12 POWER RANKINGS

BREAKING NEWS-

BWKNBNC has learned that reigning champion Matt Murphy has recently sold his team to "The Dawg".  The Speculation that has always circled around the KC Brosmers regarding who the true owner is has finally been put to rest. 

So what do we know about this mystery figure simply called "The Dawg"? Well not much, a quick google search shows that he is a playboy millionaire who was last spotted in the boom boom room of the B-Slider.

We reached out to Matthew Murphy who confirmed that "The Dawg" has bought the team and will be renaming them "The Penn Valley Pooches". Mr Murphy had no other news for us but speculated the roster would stay intact.

END BREAKING NEWS-

The Cano's hold on the the top spot but have been floundering of late. We reached out to GM Sven Murphy last week to ask about his teams recent woes.

1. How do the recent injuries to Peavy and Strasburg effect your attempt at a championship

The injuries to JP and Sven are very minor A DL stint for the two youngsters ensures their arms will be fresh for games that matter. Expect them both the be back in the lineup soon.(Editors note, Peavy was waived right after the comment)

2. Any truth both pitchers were injured in a locker room fight over a case of natty?

As for the fight we are taking away the clubhouse video games until the all star break. Too much gambling fighting and childish activity has been going on lately.

3. How many games in a row can you lose before you decide a drastic change is needed?

The cano's have hit a tough stretch, yes, but we have a championship demeanor that is instilled in every one of your players. Look for leaders like Robbie Cano, Justin Upton(since traded) and CC Sabatia to step up.

4. Any truth to the rumors your namesake Robbie Cano is on the trading block?

Cano is our franchise player and is going nowhere. End of comments.

Here is this week’s Power Rankings

 "STUD'S"

1. Paddle Your Own Cano (7-3) - Sven Murphy

The Cano's have not been as impressive as they were at the start of the year squeaking out a 17 point win over the floundering Blanco's. With 2 starters on the DL GM Sven Murphy decided to shake things up by acquiring Zacko the Wacko from the elephants. Tough match up this week against the scorching hot Fisters.

2. Rebel Yell (6-4) – Ben “10 for 10” Keck

League High 426 pts last week put a damper on the HBT's attempts at a comeback 

The key player of the week was Kyle Lohse who rejoined the team Sunday morning and put up an impressive 33 pt performance after being relegated to the waiver wire for 1 month.

3. Furbush Fisters (6-4) – Juice Christine

After starting the year 0-3 the Fisters have been tearing up buttholes left and right including their latest victim Crocs in Florida. Mike Minor and Shelby Miller both had solid weeks to lead the Fisters to their latest victory.

We reached out to GM Brook Van Heche to see if she had any comments about allegations regarding PED's like Steroids and Amphetamines being handed out like candy on Halloween. Brook was visibly upset by the allegations and refused to comment.

4. Billy Buttlicks (6-4) - Schoon McGoon

The Buttlicks cruised to an easy 70 point victory over the Elephants while putting up 398 points. There is nothing flashy about this team but with the recent addition of Yasiel Puig to an offense already featuring Trumbo this team has the look of a contender.

"PUD'S"

No dud's this week as we still have a clusterfuck at the bottom.

5 . Crocs In Florida (4-6)- Allan Baird

The Crocs have been hot recently but had an off week putting up a measly 309 points in their latest matchup. David Ortiz came through again but his 35 points were almost wiped out by a -24 effort by Ian Kennedy.

  

6. Prairie Village Predators (5-5) - Old Man River

The Predators have been slumping lately but they still sit at 5-5. With the harvest season starting soon expect to see Old Man River spend more time tending his garden then his baseball squad.

7. Los Gringos Blancos (4-6) – Cheese Horner

The Blanco's drop to 4-6 after losing a heart breaker to the 1st place Cano's. We reached out to GM Cheese Horner but he could not be reached for comment after consuming 2 lbs of montery jack while on a monday night bender.

8. Penn Valley Pooches (4-6) – The Dawg

New ownership brings deep pockets to the Penn Valley Pooches. We tried to reach out to The Dawg tonight but he had jumped the fence and all his voice mail said was "Dawg out chasing bitches, leave a message at the WOOF WOOF BARK"

9. Hidden Ball Tricks (4-6) – Pearce McKinney

The HBT's put up the second highest point total last week but still got the L after running into the buzz saw that is REBEL YELL.

Despite their recent showing I'm not sold the on the HBT's chances, they still have the lowest season point total.

10. Team Elephant(4-6) – Wayne Walker

While the Elephants are not terrible someone needs to be in last and this week it is the Elephants.

The season is never over for GM Wayne Walker who recently traded his Pitching Keeper from last year Zacko The Wacko. We reached out to Wayne about some recent unpaid rent at his soon to be former residence but could not get ahold of him

Week 11 Power Rankings

1. Paddle your own Cano
2. Billy Buttlicks
3. Rebel Yell
4. Furbush Fisters
5. Crocs in Florida
6. Los Gringos Blancos
7. PV Predators
8. Team Elephant
9. Hidden Ball Tricks
10. KC Brosmers