Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Without further ado, here are you week 1 power rankings.
1. Slobb On My Cobb -
As the first GM to win 2 straight titles in the Modern Era alot of pundits are starting to compare Tristan Trupka to legendary Bama Coach Nick Saban giving him the moniker "Lil Nicky". The Cobb's don't appear to have much talent wise this year outside of Gronk but the odds are Lil Nicky knows something we dont.
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs
Worst to First? Its a possibility for the Footlongs this year as they took advantage of a plethora of extra draft picks. ESPN projects them as the highest scoring team in Week 1 but I am less than impressed with their squad. Their QB is 57 years old (Drew Brees) and their second best running back is a toss up between someone with the most carries in the past 8 years (Matt Forte) and someone splitting time in a 3 back system (CJ Anderson).
3. The Firechiefs
2013 Champion Justin VanKueser is hoping All Pro RB Adrian Peterson can keep his switch locked up for the next 6 months while he leads the Firechiefs to another championship. If the Firchiefs can avoid a slow start in the first 3 weeks the return of Le'Veon Bell will give this team the best RB duo in the league.
4. Keckism Killers
The Killers traded the house last year for a shot at the Title that has eluded Jason Stanley for his entire fantasy career. The team appears to have all the pieces they need this year led by Todd Gurley and 3 top 10 receivers from last year(Fitzgerald, Hopkins, Decker). The big unknown is how the Killers recent move from the safe suburbs to the inner city will effect their ability to game plan from week to week.
5. Raytown 3/5rs
Fresh faces abound for the 3/5rs after their relocation from Dixieland. This years squad hopes to make a splash in Raytown with the Dynamic Runningback duo of Doug Martin and Lamar Miller who were both top 6 backs last year. If his WR core of T.Y. Hilton and Mike Evans can play to their potential GM Ben Keck could bring home a record 3rd overall Title.
6. My Lucky Tate
The Tates have added another brain to their war room with the addition of lil charlie as a co-gm. They are betting big on bounceback years from Andrew Luck and Jordy Nelson but their running back core of Ryan Matthews and Lil Danny Woodhead may hold them back from serious contention.
7. I Touchdown There
GM Michael Brungy has been laid up in bed for months with a leg injury and this is the best team he could come up with? Aaron Rodgers should make decent trade bait around week 7 and maybe someone will throw an 8th round pick at David Johnson after he comes back to earth this year.
8. West Canaan Coyotes
GM Matthew Settles joins the league this year taking over for long time cellar dweller Harry Poole. The coyotes do have last years #1 running back Dvonta Freeman and #3 WR Brandon Marshall but after that things look bleak with Tyrod Taylor starting at QB. Things could get rough for first time GM but better to take his lumps now and learn from the experience.
9. Polygamy Pounders
The pounders are a perennial contender who made it all the way to the championship game last year but things are not looking great this year. Look for Cam Newton to be playing on the 3/5rs by week 8.
10. PV Porch Monkeys
Longtime bridesmaid Pearce McKinley is hoping the addition of Molly Wilson as Co-GM will get him over the hump. Other than Antonio Brown I just don't see alot of talent on this team. Their QB plays for Jacksonville which is basically a AAA franchise and their best RB will be second string by week 5. Could be a long year on W 70th St.
11. Zipper Destroyers
The Zippers traded the farm last year for a shot at glory and are now paying the the price. They currently have 5 rookies on their roster as well as Jamaal Charles who recently underwent an experimental surgery to replace his knees with tennis balls and string cheese. Is this the year he finally has a fire sale and builds for next year?
12. Puff Puff Pass
GM Puff Meyers shocked everyone in 2013 with a playoff berth but it has been all downhill since then. His most recent draft included 2 QB's in the first 3 rounds and 2 TE's in the first 7 rounds. If captain Autodraft can turn this pile of shit into a playoff team he will lock up manager of the century.
Monday, September 5, 2016
Monday, June 13, 2016
Week 11 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Week 11 Power Rankings
An overhead view of the middle of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Standings
1. Boats
n Hosmers (8-2) The Boats have started the season on an impressive hot streak
averaging 386 ppg but a fellow GM who would like to remain anonymous is not
worried “Schoon? Yeah, they are starting the season well but he has no
experience winning the big game. If he can keep his team healthy, and that’s a
big IF, then expect nothing more than a first round exit”.
GM Schoon McGoon
thinks otherwise “This is my 3rd year in the league and we have made
the playoffs every season which is unprecedented for an expansion team(See
Cross). With this pace we expect another appearance. If we can cap it off with
a championship they might need to think about replacing one of the faces on Mt.
Rushmore”
2. Hosmer Stole My Girl (7-3) Newcomer Jared
Concannon has taken the league by storm with his Analytic Revolution. We
reached out to Ben Keck, GM of the defending champion Rebel Yell, for his
take on their hot start. “It’s a Mirage, we see this every year. Some team
starts out hot and everyone is clamoring that this will be the year someone
besides the 3 Titans(Yell/Cain’s/Chen’s) wins the league…but it never happens”
3. Rebel
Yell (5-5) Despite leading the league with 394ppg ole Rebel Yell is still just
5-5 due to some bad breaks. The team keeps chugging along though and has
positioned themselves well with the pickup of Sonny Gray off the trash heap.
“Its Ridiculous” GM Ben Keck shouted “Its ridiculous how stupid some people
could be. Waive Sonny Gray 2 months into the season? Come on bro, make it a
challenge for me!”
4. Chen
Music (6-4) The Chen’s are putting together another solid season behind young
guns like Jake Arietta and Stephen Strasbourg. 2 Time champion GM Matt Murphy
has faced some tough questions about his possible overuse of these starters but
responded by saying “Those guys are horses! Did Nyquist wear down after winning
the Kentucky Derby???.....Well, bad example. Look, our eyes are set on winning
our 3rd championship and we have the balance to do so. We don’t rely
on 1,2, or even 5 players, it’s a team effort here”
5. Lo
Cain’s (5-5) GM Sven Murphy has his team rolling on a 4 game winning streak and
attributes it to “The emergence of young players like Eric Hosmer, Bryce Harper
and Steven Matz. These players are young and hungry”. A young and hungry team
combined with Sven’s championship experience(2 Titles) could make this a team
that no one wants to face in the Playoffs.
6. HGH
Junkies (5-5) Perennial bridesmaid Pearce McKinley has put together another
respectable squad this year but Anxiety is setting in that this team may not be
good enough to wear the white dress. “I’m willing to listen to all offers” Maid
of Honor Pearce McKinley said “Kershaw is on the block for the right price. It
would require 2 players clearly above replacement level. I’m not trading
Kershaw for a good player and “Joe the baseball player” who can be found on
waivers.” There you have it folks, a BWKNBNC exclusive, Clayton Kershaw is on
the block.
7. Team
Elephant (5-5) Is fatherhood having an adverse effect on Casey Wayne Walkers
managerial abilities? Lil Charlie may be cuter than an Asian kid in glasses but
Team Elephant’s fans are getting anxious about their 3 game losing streak.
8. Los
Gringos Blancos (4-6) Things were starting to look bleak for the Blancos after
a 0-4 start but GM Cheese Horner rallied the troops back into contention. They
face a HUGE midseason matchup this week against the Junkies and Cheese is
sounding pretty confident “Consider this a fitting for his bridesmaid dress”
9. Team
Cross (3-7) Last years expansion team continues to struggle in the League Of
Extraordinary Gentlemen. GM Alex Cross has refuted rumors that his squad was
thinking about dropping down to AAA saying “ Its been very disappointing but I
have my head high. Injuries and slumps are holding my team back from full
potential. I think we have a few more quality wins under our belt in the second
half of the year”.
10. CW’s
Trouser Trouts (2-8) With a horrendous start GM Juice Van Heche still thinks
the Trout’s have something to play for saying “Our only goal at this point is
to continue to make moves and make the team better. With the complete logjam in
the middle of the standings one good week from my team could ruin one teams
season while allowing another to sneak into the playoffs. It has never been a
thought in my mind to just throw in the towel like GM’s have in the past(Jason
Stanley) as that really takes away from the integrity of the league”.
Those
were strong words issued by Coach Van Heche so we asked if he wanted to retract
his indictment of former GM Jason Stanley, he refused and fired back “There is
a reason he is no longer in the league. In living with him for 5 years I got an
inside look at how he ran his team and needless to say the man was just not fit
to run a baseball squad”
Monday, December 7, 2015
2015 KSFBFFL Playoff Breakdown
Ben Ji
140 Miles east of gods country
Wow! What an exciting way to finish the 2015 KSFBFFL regular season! Needing a victory to break their 4 game losing streak and secure the final playoff spot the Dixieland 3/5rs came out on fire and just DESTROYED the Polygamy Pounders.
Lets take a look at how the Playoff Bracket shakes out.
Pretender Bracket
First lets take a look at the "Pretender" Bracket. With the Coyotes recent loss they tumble all the way from a #2 seed to the #4 seed where they take on The Polygamy Pounders in the first round. Waiting in the wings is everyone's favorite Bridesmaid the PV Monkeys.
The only team on this side of the bracket with any championship experience is the Polygamy Pounders but that was back in 2011 and their title was a complete fraud due to their D/ST scoring 18 points on Monday Night Football during their Semi Finals match up against the 3/5rs.
#1. PV Porch Monkeys (12-1)
Fresh off 126 point beat down of the Coyotes the Porch Monkeys have locked up the #1 seed and a first round bye. As a reward for their great season the Monkeys have by far the easiest path to the championship game as they will face the winner of the Coyotes/Pounders match.
GM Pearce McKinney knows he has a lot to prove this post season “No one believes in us.” You hear that all the time in sports. You hear it so often that it’s almost become meaningless. You hear an athlete say it, and you just kind of roll your eyes. The thing about “no one believes in us,” though … is that most of the time it’s deserved. When people don’t believe in you — as hard to accept as it may be — what it usually amounts to is this: It means that you still haven’t proven it."
#4. West Canaan Coyotes (8-4) vs #5 Polygamy Pounders (7-6)
The Coyotes have rode the hot hand of Tommy Brady all year but they will need some production from the RB's (Combined 5 points last week) if they want their season to continue.
Pounders GM Keane Cheese is ready for the challege "Anytime you're having to face Tom Brady its gonna be a tough match up but with the way Cam has been playing lately we've got a chance. We have some major issues in our Running game as well but we will be addressing them this week. Above all else we have to band together and OVERCOME. THE. ADVERSITY. ON. THE. FIELD"
Projected Winner- West Canaan Coyotes 89, Polygamy Pounders 82
Look for the Coyotes to get just enough production out of Tom Brady and Demarco Murray to keep their season alive.
Contender Bracket
Wowzers, this side of the bracket is just LOADED with 3 former champions including the last 2 winners. The Cobbs may be a slight favorite but will face a tough test when they take on the winner of the 3/5rs and Firechefs.
With such a loaded bracket whoever emerges will likely be the one to give McKinney his second bridesmaid dress of 2015.
#2. Slobb on my Cobb (9-4)
With an impressive 136 point performance the Cobb's have locked up the #2 seed and put the league on notice that they intend to hold on to The Martin for another year. New starter Marcus Mariota shocked a lot of people last week with his 35 pt performance but GM Tristy Trupka was not one of them.
"We knew going in Mariota was a young guy with real physical attributes and a lot of potential" Trupka said "Given our playoff lock going into the week we decided to put our Boom or Bust lineup on the field. We could only win and boy did Marcus and Darren really come through for us"
#3 The Firechefs (9-4) vs #6 Dixieland 3/5rs (6-7)
Common logic says the Firechefs should dominate this game as they were the top scoring team all year and the 3/5rs had to snap a 4 game losing streak just to make the playoffs....but things aren't always as they appear. The Firechefs have scored under 80 points in 2 of their past 3 games while the 3/5rs exploded for 132 points in a do or die game last week.
"We lost focus after starting 4-1" The 3/5rs extremely good looking and charismatic coach said "We saw what Rebel Yell was able to do, taking home a trophy, and we started celebrating with them...but its not our trophy and I made it a point to the team that we have our own trophy to win. I sat them down and told them in no uncertain terms that WE, THE DIXIELAND THREE FIFTHERS, WILL BE THE ONE TO GIVE PEARCE MCKINLEY HIS SECOND BRIDESMAID DRESS OF 2015"
Projected winner - Dixieland 3/5rs 112, The Firechefs 83
Looks for the 3/5rs to continue their hot hand with a blowout victory of the reeling Firechefs.
140 Miles east of gods country
Wow! What an exciting way to finish the 2015 KSFBFFL regular season! Needing a victory to break their 4 game losing streak and secure the final playoff spot the Dixieland 3/5rs came out on fire and just DESTROYED the Polygamy Pounders.
Lets take a look at how the Playoff Bracket shakes out.
Pretender Bracket
First lets take a look at the "Pretender" Bracket. With the Coyotes recent loss they tumble all the way from a #2 seed to the #4 seed where they take on The Polygamy Pounders in the first round. Waiting in the wings is everyone's favorite Bridesmaid the PV Monkeys.
The only team on this side of the bracket with any championship experience is the Polygamy Pounders but that was back in 2011 and their title was a complete fraud due to their D/ST scoring 18 points on Monday Night Football during their Semi Finals match up against the 3/5rs.
#1. PV Porch Monkeys (12-1)
Fresh off 126 point beat down of the Coyotes the Porch Monkeys have locked up the #1 seed and a first round bye. As a reward for their great season the Monkeys have by far the easiest path to the championship game as they will face the winner of the Coyotes/Pounders match.
GM Pearce McKinney knows he has a lot to prove this post season “No one believes in us.” You hear that all the time in sports. You hear it so often that it’s almost become meaningless. You hear an athlete say it, and you just kind of roll your eyes. The thing about “no one believes in us,” though … is that most of the time it’s deserved. When people don’t believe in you — as hard to accept as it may be — what it usually amounts to is this: It means that you still haven’t proven it."
#4. West Canaan Coyotes (8-4) vs #5 Polygamy Pounders (7-6)
The Coyotes have rode the hot hand of Tommy Brady all year but they will need some production from the RB's (Combined 5 points last week) if they want their season to continue.
Pounders GM Keane Cheese is ready for the challege "Anytime you're having to face Tom Brady its gonna be a tough match up but with the way Cam has been playing lately we've got a chance. We have some major issues in our Running game as well but we will be addressing them this week. Above all else we have to band together and OVERCOME. THE. ADVERSITY. ON. THE. FIELD"
Projected Winner- West Canaan Coyotes 89, Polygamy Pounders 82
Look for the Coyotes to get just enough production out of Tom Brady and Demarco Murray to keep their season alive.
Contender Bracket
Wowzers, this side of the bracket is just LOADED with 3 former champions including the last 2 winners. The Cobbs may be a slight favorite but will face a tough test when they take on the winner of the 3/5rs and Firechefs.
With such a loaded bracket whoever emerges will likely be the one to give McKinney his second bridesmaid dress of 2015.
#2. Slobb on my Cobb (9-4)
With an impressive 136 point performance the Cobb's have locked up the #2 seed and put the league on notice that they intend to hold on to The Martin for another year. New starter Marcus Mariota shocked a lot of people last week with his 35 pt performance but GM Tristy Trupka was not one of them.
"We knew going in Mariota was a young guy with real physical attributes and a lot of potential" Trupka said "Given our playoff lock going into the week we decided to put our Boom or Bust lineup on the field. We could only win and boy did Marcus and Darren really come through for us"
#3 The Firechefs (9-4) vs #6 Dixieland 3/5rs (6-7)
Common logic says the Firechefs should dominate this game as they were the top scoring team all year and the 3/5rs had to snap a 4 game losing streak just to make the playoffs....but things aren't always as they appear. The Firechefs have scored under 80 points in 2 of their past 3 games while the 3/5rs exploded for 132 points in a do or die game last week.
"We lost focus after starting 4-1" The 3/5rs extremely good looking and charismatic coach said "We saw what Rebel Yell was able to do, taking home a trophy, and we started celebrating with them...but its not our trophy and I made it a point to the team that we have our own trophy to win. I sat them down and told them in no uncertain terms that WE, THE DIXIELAND THREE FIFTHERS, WILL BE THE ONE TO GIVE PEARCE MCKINLEY HIS SECOND BRIDESMAID DRESS OF 2015"
Projected winner - Dixieland 3/5rs 112, The Firechefs 83
Looks for the 3/5rs to continue their hot hand with a blowout victory of the reeling Firechefs.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
2015 KSFBFFL Playoff Preview
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
The great month of December is upon us, a month filled with presents, bright lights, college football bowl games...and of course, The K-State's Finest Bro's Fantasy Football League Playoffs.
Lets take a look at our contenders.
1. PV Porch Monkeys (11-1)
Coming off 2 championship game losses the Monkeys are right back in the hunt this year on the back of stellar wide receiver play from Antonio Brown and Odell Beckam Jr. Having already locked up the 1 seed GM Pearce McKinney knows there is only one thing left to do "We think we have a historically good team and view anything less than a championship as a failure. The Martin will be spending 2016 in my possession!"
2. The Firechiefs (9-3)
After a disappointing 2014 season the Firechefs have returned as a championship contender this year with the highest point total in the league. With a win next week over the 4-8 Puff's ole CW can rest his star players for the first round as the number 2 seed.
3. West Canaan Coyotes (9-3)
With Lance's new hurry up system in place the Coyotes have come from no where to become one of the top teams in the KSFBFFL. We could get a preview of the championship game this week when the Top Ranked Monkeys come to town. If the Coyotes can win that game they could sneak into the 2 seed.
4. Slobb on my Cobb (8-4)
The defending champion Cobb's have flown under the radar this year and are noticably absent from everyone's championship predictions. "We've had a rough last few weeks" GM Tristy Trupka said, "The injury to Gronk certainly doesn't help. We're looking to finish the season strong this week on the road in Tampa and even though we are a playoff lock I wouldn't count on any starters sitting"
5. Polygamy Pounders (7-5)
Is there something in the mountain air that makes people bad at social media AND fantasy football? After a fluke championship run in 2011 the Pounders relocated to Salt Lake and have never again sniffed at a title. Much like Cheese's group me posts no one is expecting much out of the Pounders this December.
Rounding out the playoff bracket will make for an exciting Sunday as literally EVERY TEAM except the Keckism Killers have a chance to make the playoffs.
The 3/5r's and the Leashed Pooches are the heavy favorites to clinch the last spot. Their records are the same but currently The 3/5rs have a slight advantage of 13 total points. Here is a breakdown of how every team could make the playoffs.
Dixieland 3/5r's (5-7)
A win vs the Pounders while scoring within 12 points of the Pooches will guarantee their spot. If they lose and the Pooches win the 3/5r's will be spending the rest of December at home.
Leashed Pooches (5-7)
GM Matt Murphy rolled the dice at the trade deadline and is feeling some heat "We gave up 3 draft picks to compete in december. A trip to the playoffs would mean job security for out scouting department who tipped us on Julio, Carlos and Matty Ice." If the Pooches win next week and score 14 more points than the 3/r's their front office would be vindicated. A loss however......
Lets take a look at how each remaining team except the Killers can make the playoffs with a loss by both the 3/5r's and Pooches.
Puff Puss Pass (4-8)
A win and score 73 more points than the 3/5rs and 60 more points than the Pooches.
Farve Dollar Footlong (4-8)
A win and score 113 more points than the 3/5rs and 100 more points than the Pooches.
My Lucky Tate (4-8)
A win and score 148 more points than the 3/5rs and 130 more points than the Pooches.
I Touchdown There (4-8)
A win and score 268 more points than the 3/5rs abd 250 more points than the Pooches.
Hey, It could happen.
140 Miles East of Gods Country
PLAYOFFS? You Talking about Playoffs?!?
The great month of December is upon us, a month filled with presents, bright lights, college football bowl games...and of course, The K-State's Finest Bro's Fantasy Football League Playoffs.
Lets take a look at our contenders.
1. PV Porch Monkeys (11-1)
Coming off 2 championship game losses the Monkeys are right back in the hunt this year on the back of stellar wide receiver play from Antonio Brown and Odell Beckam Jr. Having already locked up the 1 seed GM Pearce McKinney knows there is only one thing left to do "We think we have a historically good team and view anything less than a championship as a failure. The Martin will be spending 2016 in my possession!"
2. The Firechiefs (9-3)
After a disappointing 2014 season the Firechefs have returned as a championship contender this year with the highest point total in the league. With a win next week over the 4-8 Puff's ole CW can rest his star players for the first round as the number 2 seed.
3. West Canaan Coyotes (9-3)
With Lance's new hurry up system in place the Coyotes have come from no where to become one of the top teams in the KSFBFFL. We could get a preview of the championship game this week when the Top Ranked Monkeys come to town. If the Coyotes can win that game they could sneak into the 2 seed.
4. Slobb on my Cobb (8-4)
The defending champion Cobb's have flown under the radar this year and are noticably absent from everyone's championship predictions. "We've had a rough last few weeks" GM Tristy Trupka said, "The injury to Gronk certainly doesn't help. We're looking to finish the season strong this week on the road in Tampa and even though we are a playoff lock I wouldn't count on any starters sitting"
5. Polygamy Pounders (7-5)
Is there something in the mountain air that makes people bad at social media AND fantasy football? After a fluke championship run in 2011 the Pounders relocated to Salt Lake and have never again sniffed at a title. Much like Cheese's group me posts no one is expecting much out of the Pounders this December.
Rounding out the playoff bracket will make for an exciting Sunday as literally EVERY TEAM except the Keckism Killers have a chance to make the playoffs.
The 3/5r's and the Leashed Pooches are the heavy favorites to clinch the last spot. Their records are the same but currently The 3/5rs have a slight advantage of 13 total points. Here is a breakdown of how every team could make the playoffs.
Dixieland 3/5r's (5-7)
A win vs the Pounders while scoring within 12 points of the Pooches will guarantee their spot. If they lose and the Pooches win the 3/5r's will be spending the rest of December at home.
Leashed Pooches (5-7)
GM Matt Murphy rolled the dice at the trade deadline and is feeling some heat "We gave up 3 draft picks to compete in december. A trip to the playoffs would mean job security for out scouting department who tipped us on Julio, Carlos and Matty Ice." If the Pooches win next week and score 14 more points than the 3/r's their front office would be vindicated. A loss however......
Lets take a look at how each remaining team except the Killers can make the playoffs with a loss by both the 3/5r's and Pooches.
Puff Puss Pass (4-8)
A win and score 73 more points than the 3/5rs and 60 more points than the Pooches.
Farve Dollar Footlong (4-8)
A win and score 113 more points than the 3/5rs and 100 more points than the Pooches.
My Lucky Tate (4-8)
A win and score 148 more points than the 3/5rs and 130 more points than the Pooches.
I Touchdown There (4-8)
A win and score 268 more points than the 3/5rs abd 250 more points than the Pooches.
Hey, It could happen.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Week 7 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles east of Gods Country
140 Miles east of Gods Country
HOT STOVE EDITION
Killers GM Jason Stanley has been an especially active participant in trades
Completed Trades
****Trade deadline is Thursday October 29th*****
Keckism Killers trade Carlos Hyde to the Leashed Pooches for their 5th and 14th round pick in 2016
Footlongs trade Antonio Brown, Greg Olsen and their 6th round pick to the PV Monkeys for their 2nd and 8th round picks in 2016.
Keckism Killers trade Dez Bryant and CJ Anderson to the Dixieland 3/5rs for their 5th round pick in 2016.
Footlongs trade Matt Ryan and Julio Jones to the Leashed Pooches for their 4th and 6th round picks in 2016.
POWER RANKINGS
Championship Contenders
1. PV Monkeys (6-0)
The Monkeys were dominate last week as they put up 122 pts in a victory over the 3/5rs to keep their record perfect. Five different players scored in double digits while both starting running backs scored over 22 points.
The Monkeys aren't resting though, instead they are gearing up for a championship push by acquiring Antonio Brown and Greg Olsen. When reached for comment GM Pearce McKinney said "We are done with bridesmaid dresses, we are going all in with the expectation of wearing white in December"
2. Firechiefs (5-1)
Chris Ivory's 25 points led the Firechiefs to another impressive victory last weekend while Carson Palmer has revitalized his career this year with the Firechiefs and is having a top 5 season. If Adrian Peterson can stop beating children and go back to putting up 15 pts a game this team will be hard to beat.
Expect another victory next week as when GM Justin VanHecke takes on the deadbeat Puff Puff Pass.
3. Dixieland 3/5rs (4-2)
With Jamaal Charles out for the year and 2 top 10 RB's on bye (Latavious Murray, Doug Martin) the 3/5rs faced a tough road last week against the Monkeys. Despite the loss this team still leads the league in total points and should be dangerous once newly acquired Dez Bryant gets back to playing.
We asked GM Benjamin William Keck III about breaking his no trade vow and acquiring Dez and CJ from his arch rival the Keckism Killers "Things change Mox. If Jamaal doesn't go down we don't make this trade....but he did and we had to reevaluate our roster and put ourselves in the best position to bring The Martin back to her rightful home."
4. Slobb On My Cobb (4-2)
The defending champs have not garnered much press this year but have no doubt GM Trenny Trupka has put together a team that has a chance to be the first back to back Martin winners. Trenny took an unorthodox approach this year choosing to build his team (2nd highest point total) around the Denver Bronco's defense who have averaged a remarkable 16.5ppg. Throw in a late round pick like Eli Manning having a career year and its easy to see how this team is a legit contender.
If Arian Foster can stay healthy the Trupka's could be spending another summer with The Martin.
Playoff Contenders
5. Polygamy Pounders (3-3)
Despite his 1st round draft pick sitting on the bench and his 2nd round draft pick contributing 1 point the Pounders scored 105 points in a victory last week. Mark Ingram and Jonathan Stewart have picked up Eddie Lacy's slack and Keenan Allen has had a breakout season.
If Eddie Lacy and Andrew Luck can start playing like top draft picks GM Cheese Horner may be taking The Martin back to the Wasatch Mountains.
6. West Canaan Coyotes (4-2)
Since being left for dead after an embarrassing 32-36 loss to the Keckism Killers 3 weeks ago the Coyotes have won 2 straight in impressive fashion. This week GM Lance Poole rode Tommy Brady and Calvin Johnson to another victory scoring 104 points.
7. Leashed Pooches (2-4)
It's October so that can only mean 1 thing...GM Matt Murphy has begun trading all of next years draft picks for a shot at the Martin. Doing some quick math (beep...boop....beep...beep...boop) I'm projecting he will enter the 2018 draft with no picks in the first 10 rounds.
By acquiring Julio Jones/Matt Ryan/Carlos Hyde the pooches have once again gone all in for a taste of The Martin.
Better Luck Next Year
8. I Touchdown There (1-5)
Another disappointing year for the Touchdowns as they are once again eliminated from the playoff picture before Halloween. Expect Larry Fitzgerald and Marshawn Lynch to be playing for another team by this time next week.
9. Farve Dollar Footlongs (1-5)
KSFBFFL will be without GM Sven Murphy in the playoffs for the first time this year as the Footlongs have gone into rebuilding mode by dealing Matt Ryan and Julio Jones.
We reached out to Sven to get his thoughts "This is tough, real tough. I feel terrible for the fans who have had to watch us these last 6 weeks but I owe it to them to put us in the best position possible next season"
10. Keckism Killers (2-4)
Another year without a title for the man on west 73rd Terrace. After averaging an embarrassing 55 points a game GM Boo Boo Stanley has sold off his meager pieces for a couple of 5th round draft picks.
Better luck next year kid.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
KSFBFFL Week 5 Power Rankings
Come yee! Come Yee! Thy power Ranking are out!
Ben Ji
140 Miles east of Gods Country.
Lords of the Manor
1. The Firechefs (3-1)
The Firechefs are the picture of Consistency this year scoring between 85 and 106 points every week. This week it was a 98-68 beat down of their Arch Rival Footlongs. Chris Ivory and Adrian Peterson form the best 1/2 running back combo in the league putting up a combined 37 pts last week.
Nobody is questioning Adrians ability to keep this up but TMZ has reported that Chris Ivory has been spotted multiple times at "Titty Clubs" the night before the game. GM Justin Van Heche Threatened to bench Ivory for the Matchup against the Footlongs but ultimately relented saying "The man will play. It's all about the Jimmy and Joes, not the X's and O's"
2. Dixieland Three Fifthers (3-1)
After a rough start in week 1 the 3/5r's have averaged a scorching 107 ppg in their last three victories and now lead the league in points scored. HOF GM Ben Keck explains it this way "We had to warm up you know? We spent alot of the Pre Season focused on our championship baseball squad. With our recent Victory in the World Series we can now focus all our attention to the Grid Iron and I think you are seeing the result"
If the 3/5rs core of Charles/Green/Edelman/Murray can stay healthy they could go along way this year. Exactly how far they go this year will be dependent on Players like Jimmy Graham, Justin Forsett and Drew Brees who have all got off to rocky starts this year.
3. PV Porch Monkeys (4-0)
Another good showing from the Monkeys this week is starting to erase doubts about whether this team if for real. Despite being the only undefeated team they are still only averaging a paltry 85 ppg. Questions still remain about this teams depth as last week 2 players (Phillip Rivers and Devonta Freeman) scored 58 of their 89 points.
Luckily for the Monkeys their 4-0 start almost guarantees them a spot in the playoffs barring a total meltdown. We asked GM Pearce McKinney his thoughts on the season so far "We had a team meeting voicing concern of lack of effort the first 2 weeks. As Coach Reid would say, "Thats my fault....I take responsibility for that". We still have alot of work to do before we consider ourselves contenders but I am excited about the possibility of aqcuiring ANOTHER bridesmaid dress"
Yeoman
4. Slobb On My Cobb (2-2)
Using a boom or bust strategy the Cobb's have the second highest point total but only a 2-2 record to show for it. They have scored 107 and 113 points in both their victories but failed to hit 90 in either of their losses.
Team President Tristan Tucker was widely mocked for Taking Rookie QB Marcus Mariotta so high in the draft but he obviously saw something that caught his eye as Mariotta has the 7th highest PPG total of any QB "With a heisman winner playing for a sky high offense as the ducks whats not to like?" Tucker Said. "We saw alot of drive and determination in the young man. After a short interview with the youngster I immediately knew he would fit in well with our 16 goals for success. Mariota will certainly give veteran Eli Manning a run for the starting job after the bye week".
5. Polygamy Pounders (2-2)
Despite having his first round pick spend more time playing Warcraft than football the Pounders are on a suprising 2 game win streak. Last week was a marginal performance against the overmatched touchdowns but they got the W and thats all that matters.
If this team is serious about reclaiming The Martin Andrew Luck needs to play and Eddie Lacy needs to get in the end zone.
6. Leashed Pooches (2-2)
What else can you say about GM Matt Murphy besides he is a hell of a GM? Despite trading away all his draft picks last year and getting married over the weekend he still found enough time to pick up Karlos Williams (13 pts last week) off the waiver wire and eek out a 1 pt win.
On paper this team looks pedestrian at best but never count the old dawg out.
7. Farve Dollar Footlong (1-3)
What a disappointing performance by the Footlongs last week. Despite scoring over 95 pts in their first 3 games they came out with a clunker against the arch rival Firechefs. The Footlongs are at a crossroads now and need a victory over the undefeated Monkeys next week to salvage their season.
Will GM Steve Murphy gamble it all and go for the big play with Mike Vick at QB next week? If Vick can lead (NAME VACATED) to a title in 2010 he could do the same for Sven in 2015.
Peasants
8. I Touchdown There (1-3)
No surprise here, after a good first couple of weeks the Touchdowns are back in the kiddie pool after losing their last 2 games by a combined 71 points. GM Mike Gomez seems to have given up already as evident by him starting the Texans defense and leaving an inactive Marshawn Lynch in the starting lineup.
Better luck next year.
9. Keckism Killers (2-2)
How the hell is this team 2-2? They are averaging a league low 55 ppg and scored 36 last week AND WON. How is that even possible?!? You can only put lipstick on a pig for so long, and GM Jason Stanley is running out of lipstick.
10. West Canaan Coyotes (2-2)
See above.
DEADBEATS
Puff Puff Pass (1-3)
My Lucky Tate (1-3)
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Week 3 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Week 3 Power Rankings
Firechefs GM Justin VanHeche Is Ready To Climb On Top of The Martin One More Time
Game of the week
Firechefs VS Monkeys
On paper this looks like a great match up of two undefeated teams led by respected GM's duking it out for first place. Peeling back the veneer we see that the Monkeys are nothing but smoke and mirrors who scored 64 and 75pts in his first 2 games. On the Flip side the Firechefs are the Juggernaut everyone thinks they are scoring over 90pts in each of their first 2 games.
Score Prediction– Firechefs 105,Monkeys 81
Watchable
Cobb vs Coyotes
Are the Coyotes for real? After cruising through the first two weeks they face a their first tough test in the defending champion Cobbs.GM Lance Poole will need Demarco Murray and Calvin Johnson to break out of their funk if he wants announce himself as a contender for The Martin.
Score Prediction - Coyotes 92, Cobbs 87
3/5rs vs Pooches
The 3/5r's have so far failed to live up to the expectations placed on teams who stockpile draft picks. The opposite could be said of the Pooches who despite trading away their 3rd and 4th round picks put up an impressive 104 pts in week one. While the season is still young the loser of this game could be on the outside looking in come playoff time.
Score Prediction - 3/5r's 103, Pooches 78
Power Rankings
1. Firechefs – Top Scorer at 196 points, another dynasty in the making? They have the pieces with a championship GM and a resurgent Carson Palmer and Adrian Peterson and Travis Kelce.
2. Coyotes – Could this be the best team since Kilmer was coach? GM Lance Poole has constructed a great team and despite a slow start by #1 draft pick Demarco Murray they are undefeated thanks largely to Tommy Brady.
3. Footlongs – “Team no RB” has been getting by thanks to stellar WR play from Antonio Brown and Julio Jones. If Melvin Gordon can get going ole Stevie could be bringing the Martin back to florida for Christmas.
4. Cobbs – Don’t sleep on the defending champions, ole tuck tuck has put together a solid squad. If Dez Bryant remains hurt until the playoffs Terrance Williams could be the draft pick of the year.
5. Touchdowns – I never like to rank Brungy high this early in the season but after last week he deserves it. Questions remain if Larry Fitzgerald and Dion Lewis can keep up their production.
6. Leashed Pooches – After a breakout week 1 the pooches came back to earth in week 2. No one doubts the skill of GM Matt Murphy but his lack of depth due to trading draft picks and upcoming nuptiuals may be enough to keep him from reaching the playoffs.
7. 3/5rs – A lot was expected out of this team who sold spent much of last year in rebuilding mode. So far their 8 draft picks in the first 4 rounds have yielded mixed results, I don’t think the fan base can stand another season watching the playoffs from home.
8. Monkeys – Despite being 2-0 this team has been awful averaging less than 70 points a game. The Monkeys better have a stiff drink on hand when they take on the 1st place firechefs this weekend.
9. Pounders – What happened to this team? Despite having an extra 4th and 6th round pick they are terrible. Their Star running back Eddie Lacy is Hurt and their Star QB Andrew Luck has been benched after admitting he would rather play WOW than throw touchdown passes.
10. Killers – I will award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.
Unranked- Deadbeats. You know who you are.
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