Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
The Touchdowns look to continue their impressive win streak (7 straight) this week in a crucial 2nd round playoff match up against the Firechefs. Here at BWKNBNC we received an infusion of capital (10% of the total pot approved by both commissioners) to cover the remaining games.
Let's see how this game stacks up
Key Matchup - Leveon Bell vs David Johnson
Leveon Bell has been unstoppable lately scoring in double digits his last 5 games including a ridiculous 47 Points last week. GM Justin Van Kueser mentioned that Leveon was highly motivated by the most recent power rankings which state that the firechefs were the most overrated team in the league.
Lining up opposite him for the Touchdowns is David Johnson who is the #1 back in the league and has scored in double digits every game this year. GM Mike Gomez's selection of Johnson with the #2 overall pick has paid huge dividends and got him to where he is today.
Injuries
The Touchdowns led all teams in the KSFBFFL with 1383 points in the regular season but enter the playoffs with a banged up team. #1 QB Aaron Rodgers is questionable with a calf injury while #4 RB Melvin Smelvin Gordon is doubtful after getting Bo Jackson'd last week. "Melvin will be a game time decision this week" Coach Gomez said, " We are confident in his recovery but if he can't go Carlos is ready to fill in and take us to the title game"
Over in North OP the Firechefs have battled through a rash of Injuries this year (AD, Sammy Watkins, ETC) but their squad is surprisingly healthy. When asked for a comment about his team's perseverance GM Justin Van Kueser had this to say "Our players have done an incredible job of blocking out the negative media this year. Our injuries were tough but the constant bulletin board material provided by the media helped lead us to our first round victory over the arch rival footlongs"
Coaches
Despite the fact that the Touchdowns have never won a playoff game Coach Van Kueser is not taking the matchup lightly. "We look forward to the challenge of playing the Touchdowns. Their record and point total speak for itself and we know we are in for a dogfight." He said before trashing them viciously "but we all know regular season stats mean nothing when it comes to the playoffs and we feel our Championship pedigree will show on the field."
Coach Gomez responded "2013? Thats when the Firechefs won their title? Wasn't OBAMA just starting his second term? This is Trumps America now. Our guys are focused on getting the W this week and a championship won 3 years ago has no impact on the field"
BWKNBNC Prediction
This should be a close matchup. The Firechefs can't expect Leveon to score over half their points again this week and will need huge games from Derek Carr and Dez Bryant this week if they hope to reach the championship game again. The Touchdowns depleted roster has given them hope but here at BWKNBNC we predict that Aaron Rodgers will be a go and Carlos Hyde will fill in admirably for Smelvin Gordon.
Touchdowns 101, Firechefs 82
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
WayneGate
Ben Ji
120 Miles east of Gods Country
120 Miles east of Gods Country
Wayne Caught in Scandal!
In a case that is rocking the KSFBFFL GM Casey Wayne Walker has been barred from the 2016 playoff due to bribing Austin Meyers with Cash to accept a trade beneficial to the Lucky Tates.
I cannot embed the report but here is a link to a PDF of the report Full Casey Wayne Walker Report
Friday, December 2, 2016
2017 KSFBFFL Playoff Picture
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
#1 I Touchdown There - Projected Finish 9-4
With the All Live Matter division already locked up the Touchdowns are playing for the league point total championship this week. They need to score 9 points more than the Footlongs this week to secure the $100 prize.
120 Miles East of Gods Country
You get a playoff Spot! You Get a Playoff Spot! Everyone gets a playoff spot!
(Except for Pearce, Jason, Keane, Tristan, Austin and one of the Matt's)
PROJECTED PLAYOFF BRACKET
First Round Bye
#1 I Touchdown There - Projected Finish 9-4
With the All Live Matter division already locked up the Touchdowns are playing for the league point total championship this week. They need to score 9 points more than the Footlongs this week to secure the $100 prize.
#2 Raytown 3/5rs - Projected Finish 9-4
The Black Lives Matter division is up for grabs with 4 teams having a legitimate shot at the first round bye. The 3/5r's are the best positioned out of the 4 as they face the Pud City Pounders this week and only need to score 1 more point than the Lucky Tates.
Wildcard Games -
#3 My Lucky Tate - Projected Finish 9-4
GM Casey Wayne Walker has alot on the line this week against an opponnet who vows to fight for the end. Kicker Dan Bailey only put up 5 points in a weak start to a game that will decide if the Tates can sip a mai thai on the first weekend of the playoffs or would be forced to duke it out with the 6 seed.
#4 The Firechefs - Projected Finish 9-4
MOST. OVER. RATED. TEAM. IN. THE. HISTORY. OF. THE. K-STATE'S. FINEST. BROS. FANTASY. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE. Expect them to eek out a 78-69 victory over the Puffs this week before bowing out in the first round of the playoffs.
#5 Farve Dollar Footlongs - Projected Finish 8-5
The Fightin Farves will be looking to rack up some points this week against the Cobb's as they attempt to hold on to to their 8 point advantage in total points. Unfortunately even with a win there is no way the Footlongs could get a first round bye.
#6 Huge Ditka's - Projected Finish 8-5
WHAT? Where are the Zippers? Despite tanking the end of the year BWKNBNC is predicting that the Ditka's WILL win this week against the Monkeys while the Destroyers lose against the Touchdowns.
Projected First Round Matchups.
1. I touchdown there
Bye
5. Farve Dollar Footlongs
4. The Firechefs
-----------------------------------------------------------------
6. Huge Ditka's
3. My Lucky Tates
Bye
2. Raytown 3/5rs
Wildcard Games -
#3 My Lucky Tate - Projected Finish 9-4
GM Casey Wayne Walker has alot on the line this week against an opponnet who vows to fight for the end. Kicker Dan Bailey only put up 5 points in a weak start to a game that will decide if the Tates can sip a mai thai on the first weekend of the playoffs or would be forced to duke it out with the 6 seed.
#4 The Firechefs - Projected Finish 9-4
MOST. OVER. RATED. TEAM. IN. THE. HISTORY. OF. THE. K-STATE'S. FINEST. BROS. FANTASY. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE. Expect them to eek out a 78-69 victory over the Puffs this week before bowing out in the first round of the playoffs.
#5 Farve Dollar Footlongs - Projected Finish 8-5
The Fightin Farves will be looking to rack up some points this week against the Cobb's as they attempt to hold on to to their 8 point advantage in total points. Unfortunately even with a win there is no way the Footlongs could get a first round bye.
#6 Huge Ditka's - Projected Finish 8-5
WHAT? Where are the Zippers? Despite tanking the end of the year BWKNBNC is predicting that the Ditka's WILL win this week against the Monkeys while the Destroyers lose against the Touchdowns.
Projected First Round Matchups.
1. I touchdown there
Bye
5. Farve Dollar Footlongs
4. The Firechefs
-----------------------------------------------------------------
6. Huge Ditka's
3. My Lucky Tates
Bye
2. Raytown 3/5rs
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Week 12 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Wow! What a tumultuous week in the KSFBFFL! Amari Cooper came through in a HUGE way with a late score to help the Touchdowns come back against the 3/5rs and now hold the top spot in the power rankings! How about those Zipper Destroyers! Their season was on the line against the Footlongs but they eeked out an Ugly Victory over the reeling Footlongs. Meanwhile the Firechefs, who have been getting by with 70 point victories all year, showed that anyone who overlooks them as a true contender for The Martin could be in for a shock during the playoffs.
1. I Touchdown There - 7-4
After years of Mediocrity the Touchdowns have finally established themselves as a true contender for The Martin. They currently lead the KSFBFFL in points on the backs of Aaron Rodgers and David Johnson. Look for the Touchdowns to lock up a first round bye next week against the Ditka's before resting everyone in week 13 against the Destroyers.
Remaining Schedule - Ditkas 7-4, Destroyers 6-5
2. Raytown 3/5r's - 7-4
The 3/5r's battled hard this week putting up 120 points but once again they lost to the Touchdowns. GM Ben Keck is now like 1-17 in his last 18 games against GM Mike Brungardt. With 2 games against pud teams remaining the 3/5rs are hoping the Firechefs lose 1 more game so they can lock up the first round bye and put themselves on the opposite end of the bracket from the Touchdowns.
Remaining Schedule - Monkeys 5-6, Pounders 4-7
3. The Firechefs - 8-3
Well looky here! Ole CW's team broke the 90 point barrier for the third time this season! What an accomplishment! With another HUGE matchup looming next week against the desperate Destroyers the Firechefs will need another big game from LeDarryl Bell and Dezari Bryant.
Remaining Schedule - Destroyers 6-5, Puffs 3-8
4. My Lucky Tates 7-4
It wasn't pretty last week but Andrew Luck and LeSHAWN McCoy were able to lead the Tates to a victory over the Puffs which should secure the Tates playoff slot. With 2 gimmes coming up the Tates are playing for seeding in the hopes of making their path to The Martin easier. (P.S. If you win the Martin I expect weekly pictures of Chuck drinking milk out of it)
Remaining Schedule - Cobbs 2-9, Killers 4-7
5. Farve Dollar Footlongs - 6-5
Despite holding the #1 spot in the power rankings for most the season and having the second highest point total the Footlongs suddenly find themselves on the brink of missing the playoffs after losing 2 of their last 3 games. They will likely need to win at least 1 of their last 2 games to clinch a playoff berth.
Remaining Schedule - Puffs 3-8, Cobbs 2-9
6. Huge Ditkas - 7-4
Three straight loses for the Ditkas has sent them tumbling in the rankings and has some people wondering how they were ever ranked so high to begin with. They haven't broken the 90 point total since week 5 and will probably need to win both their remaining games to secure a playoff spot due to their low point total.
Remaining Schedule - Touchdowns 7-4, Monkeys 5-6
7. Zipper Destroyers 6-5
The Destroyers playoff hopes are hanging on by a thread after their 75-62 victory over the slumping Footlongs. With 2 games remaining the destroyers will likely need to win both to make the playoffs as they have only scored 983 points. Their best shot at making the playoffs is to win both their remaining games or hope they can win 1 and the Ditkas lose out. Unfortunatley they face 2 of the top 3 teams to end the season.
Remaining Schedule - Touchdowns 7-4, Firechefs 8-3
Who Cares
8. PV Monkeys 5-6
The Monkeys keep playing hard and have a chance to ruin a couple of season to end the year.
9. Keckism Killers 4-7
Sad times down in the crossroads as GM Jason Stanley wasted all the draft picks he acquired last season.
10. Polygamy Pounders 4-7
Ski season, AMIRIGHT?!?
11. Puff Puff Pass 3-8
Ski season on smaller hills, AMIRIGHT?!?
12. Slobb on My Cobb 2-9
The Martin has already left the premises.
120 Miles East of Gods Country
SIMPLY THE BEST!
Touchdowns GM Mike Brungardt celebrates his victory over the 3/5rs by kissing a rando
Wow! What a tumultuous week in the KSFBFFL! Amari Cooper came through in a HUGE way with a late score to help the Touchdowns come back against the 3/5rs and now hold the top spot in the power rankings! How about those Zipper Destroyers! Their season was on the line against the Footlongs but they eeked out an Ugly Victory over the reeling Footlongs. Meanwhile the Firechefs, who have been getting by with 70 point victories all year, showed that anyone who overlooks them as a true contender for The Martin could be in for a shock during the playoffs.
1. I Touchdown There - 7-4
After years of Mediocrity the Touchdowns have finally established themselves as a true contender for The Martin. They currently lead the KSFBFFL in points on the backs of Aaron Rodgers and David Johnson. Look for the Touchdowns to lock up a first round bye next week against the Ditka's before resting everyone in week 13 against the Destroyers.
Remaining Schedule - Ditkas 7-4, Destroyers 6-5
2. Raytown 3/5r's - 7-4
The 3/5r's battled hard this week putting up 120 points but once again they lost to the Touchdowns. GM Ben Keck is now like 1-17 in his last 18 games against GM Mike Brungardt. With 2 games against pud teams remaining the 3/5rs are hoping the Firechefs lose 1 more game so they can lock up the first round bye and put themselves on the opposite end of the bracket from the Touchdowns.
Remaining Schedule - Monkeys 5-6, Pounders 4-7
3. The Firechefs - 8-3
Well looky here! Ole CW's team broke the 90 point barrier for the third time this season! What an accomplishment! With another HUGE matchup looming next week against the desperate Destroyers the Firechefs will need another big game from LeDarryl Bell and Dezari Bryant.
Remaining Schedule - Destroyers 6-5, Puffs 3-8
4. My Lucky Tates 7-4
It wasn't pretty last week but Andrew Luck and LeSHAWN McCoy were able to lead the Tates to a victory over the Puffs which should secure the Tates playoff slot. With 2 gimmes coming up the Tates are playing for seeding in the hopes of making their path to The Martin easier. (P.S. If you win the Martin I expect weekly pictures of Chuck drinking milk out of it)
Remaining Schedule - Cobbs 2-9, Killers 4-7
5. Farve Dollar Footlongs - 6-5
Despite holding the #1 spot in the power rankings for most the season and having the second highest point total the Footlongs suddenly find themselves on the brink of missing the playoffs after losing 2 of their last 3 games. They will likely need to win at least 1 of their last 2 games to clinch a playoff berth.
Remaining Schedule - Puffs 3-8, Cobbs 2-9
6. Huge Ditkas - 7-4
Three straight loses for the Ditkas has sent them tumbling in the rankings and has some people wondering how they were ever ranked so high to begin with. They haven't broken the 90 point total since week 5 and will probably need to win both their remaining games to secure a playoff spot due to their low point total.
Remaining Schedule - Touchdowns 7-4, Monkeys 5-6
7. Zipper Destroyers 6-5
The Destroyers playoff hopes are hanging on by a thread after their 75-62 victory over the slumping Footlongs. With 2 games remaining the destroyers will likely need to win both to make the playoffs as they have only scored 983 points. Their best shot at making the playoffs is to win both their remaining games or hope they can win 1 and the Ditkas lose out. Unfortunatley they face 2 of the top 3 teams to end the season.
Remaining Schedule - Touchdowns 7-4, Firechefs 8-3
Who Cares
8. PV Monkeys 5-6
The Monkeys keep playing hard and have a chance to ruin a couple of season to end the year.
9. Keckism Killers 4-7
Sad times down in the crossroads as GM Jason Stanley wasted all the draft picks he acquired last season.
10. Polygamy Pounders 4-7
Ski season, AMIRIGHT?!?
11. Puff Puff Pass 3-8
Ski season on smaller hills, AMIRIGHT?!?
12. Slobb on My Cobb 2-9
The Martin has already left the premises.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Week 10 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
With 4 weeks left in the KSFBFFL season some Teams are already thinking about how they can improve for next year while others are thinking of only one thing....spooning with the Martin all winter long.
The Top 4 teams in the League have all but locked up a playoff berth barring a late season melt down
1. Raytown 3/5r's 7-2
Newly acquired TE Jimmy Graham came up huge for the 3/5r's on MNF leading them to their 5th straight win. The 3/5r's face 2 more tough tests in the coming weeks before ending the season with 2 gimmes.
Remaining Schedule - Firechefs 6-3, Touchdowns 5-4, Monkeys 3-6, Pounders 2-7
Projected Finish 10-3
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs 5-4
The Footlongs put a scare in the 3/5r's last week with half their players on bye and still lead the league in total points. With the highest point total in the league the Footlongs will win any tie breakers for playoff spots and face a manageable schedule to end the year.
Remaining Schedule - Ditkas 7-2, Destroyers 5-4, Puff's 3-6, Cobbs 2-7
Projected Finish 8-5
3. Huge Ditkas 7-2
The Ditkas could lose out and still make the playoffs on the back of their strong start. Look for GM Matt Settle to tinker with the lineup as the Ditkas have only scored over 90 points twice and have not broken 82 points in their last 4 games.
Remaining Schedule - Footlongs 5-4, Firechefs 6-3, Touchdowns 5-4, Monkeys 3-6
Projected Finish 8-5
4. Firechefs 6-3
Ole CW needs to stop consummating his marriage and start focusing on the Firechefs as they need to win at least 1 more game (Possibly 2 due to their low point total) to make the playoffs. Look for them to steal 1 of their next three games then wallop the Puff's during week 13.
Remaining Schedule - 3/5r's 7-2, Ditkas 7-2, Destroyers 5-4, Puff's 3-6
Projected Finish 8-5
With 4 playoff spots all but locked up we have 4 teams fighting for the remaining 2 playoff spots. All 4 teams currently control their own destiny but have little to no room for error.
5. I Touchdown There 5-4
Michael Brungy and the Touchdowns hold the second highest point total of the year but find themselves facing a brutal end to the season as they face 4 playoff contenders in a row.
Remaining Schedule - Killers 4-5, 3/5rs 7-2, Ditkas 7-2, Destroyers 5-4
Projected Finish 7-6
6. My Lucky Tates 5-4
The Tates pulled out a gutsy cum from behind victory on Monday night over the Ditka's. They face a crucial matchup next week against the Destroyers then what could be a season deciding game against the Killers in week 13.
Remaining Schedule - Destroyers 5-4, Puff's 3-6, Cobbs 2-7, Killers 4-5
Projected Finish 8-5
7. Zipper Destroyers 5-4
After a 2-3 start things looked bleak for the Zippers but GM Dawg Murphy has guided this team back to the playoff hunt. Unfortunately for the Zippers they may face the toughest end to the season of any team in the playoff hunt.
Remaining Schedule - Tates 5-4, Footlongs 5-4, Firechefs 6-3, Touchdowns 5-4
Projected Finish 7-6
8. Keckism Killers 4-5
The killers were on the brink of elimination last week but a 30 pt performance by Latavious Murray is keeping them alive. With the lowest point total of any team fighting for a playoff chance the killers will probably have to win out to make it to the playoffs.
Remaining Schedule - Touchdowns 5-4, Monkeys 3-6, Pounders 2-7, Tates 5-4
Projected Finish 6-7
9. Puff Puff Pass 3-6
Contenders would be wise not to sleep on the Puff's who put up a 92 point performance last week. Look for the Puffs to ruin at least 1 season by the end of the year, possibly the Firechefs in week 13?
10. PV Monkeys 3-6
With Antonio Brown still on the team the Monkeys have the ability to put up a decent score on any given week. If a contender sleeps walk into the game the monkeys could send them home with a bloody nose.
11. Polygamy Pounders 2-7
Mark Ingram had the best game of his career last week and the Pounders still lost. I don't see enough firepower on this squad to knock off any of the contenders.
12. Slobb On My Cobb 2-7
Tell Jenny not the take the new job.
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Playoff Preview Edition!
With 4 weeks left in the KSFBFFL season some Teams are already thinking about how they can improve for next year while others are thinking of only one thing....spooning with the Martin all winter long.
The Top 4 teams in the League have all but locked up a playoff berth barring a late season melt down
LOCKS
1. Raytown 3/5r's 7-2
Newly acquired TE Jimmy Graham came up huge for the 3/5r's on MNF leading them to their 5th straight win. The 3/5r's face 2 more tough tests in the coming weeks before ending the season with 2 gimmes.
Remaining Schedule - Firechefs 6-3, Touchdowns 5-4, Monkeys 3-6, Pounders 2-7
Projected Finish 10-3
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs 5-4
The Footlongs put a scare in the 3/5r's last week with half their players on bye and still lead the league in total points. With the highest point total in the league the Footlongs will win any tie breakers for playoff spots and face a manageable schedule to end the year.
Remaining Schedule - Ditkas 7-2, Destroyers 5-4, Puff's 3-6, Cobbs 2-7
Projected Finish 8-5
3. Huge Ditkas 7-2
The Ditkas could lose out and still make the playoffs on the back of their strong start. Look for GM Matt Settle to tinker with the lineup as the Ditkas have only scored over 90 points twice and have not broken 82 points in their last 4 games.
Remaining Schedule - Footlongs 5-4, Firechefs 6-3, Touchdowns 5-4, Monkeys 3-6
Projected Finish 8-5
4. Firechefs 6-3
Ole CW needs to stop consummating his marriage and start focusing on the Firechefs as they need to win at least 1 more game (Possibly 2 due to their low point total) to make the playoffs. Look for them to steal 1 of their next three games then wallop the Puff's during week 13.
Remaining Schedule - 3/5r's 7-2, Ditkas 7-2, Destroyers 5-4, Puff's 3-6
Projected Finish 8-5
With 4 playoff spots all but locked up we have 4 teams fighting for the remaining 2 playoff spots. All 4 teams currently control their own destiny but have little to no room for error.
Still Fighting
5. I Touchdown There 5-4
Michael Brungy and the Touchdowns hold the second highest point total of the year but find themselves facing a brutal end to the season as they face 4 playoff contenders in a row.
Remaining Schedule - Killers 4-5, 3/5rs 7-2, Ditkas 7-2, Destroyers 5-4
Projected Finish 7-6
6. My Lucky Tates 5-4
The Tates pulled out a gutsy cum from behind victory on Monday night over the Ditka's. They face a crucial matchup next week against the Destroyers then what could be a season deciding game against the Killers in week 13.
Remaining Schedule - Destroyers 5-4, Puff's 3-6, Cobbs 2-7, Killers 4-5
Projected Finish 8-5
7. Zipper Destroyers 5-4
After a 2-3 start things looked bleak for the Zippers but GM Dawg Murphy has guided this team back to the playoff hunt. Unfortunately for the Zippers they may face the toughest end to the season of any team in the playoff hunt.
Remaining Schedule - Tates 5-4, Footlongs 5-4, Firechefs 6-3, Touchdowns 5-4
Projected Finish 7-6
8. Keckism Killers 4-5
The killers were on the brink of elimination last week but a 30 pt performance by Latavious Murray is keeping them alive. With the lowest point total of any team fighting for a playoff chance the killers will probably have to win out to make it to the playoffs.
Remaining Schedule - Touchdowns 5-4, Monkeys 3-6, Pounders 2-7, Tates 5-4
Projected Finish 6-7
Who cares
9. Puff Puff Pass 3-6
Contenders would be wise not to sleep on the Puff's who put up a 92 point performance last week. Look for the Puffs to ruin at least 1 season by the end of the year, possibly the Firechefs in week 13?
10. PV Monkeys 3-6
With Antonio Brown still on the team the Monkeys have the ability to put up a decent score on any given week. If a contender sleeps walk into the game the monkeys could send them home with a bloody nose.
11. Polygamy Pounders 2-7
Mark Ingram had the best game of his career last week and the Pounders still lost. I don't see enough firepower on this squad to knock off any of the contenders.
12. Slobb On My Cobb 2-7
Tell Jenny not the take the new job.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Week 8 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Wow guyz! What an action packed finish to the KSFBFFL trade deadline as a total of 6 deals were completed in the last 2 days. The folks at BWKNBNC were on top of all the deals and are we plan on breaking them down to see who came out ahead.
Cam Newton for a 4th round pick
Was there any doubt this deal wouldn't get done? The Pounder's have been in fire sale mode for 4 weeks while the Ditka's are in First Place despite starting Tyrod Taylor. Questions remain as to whether Cam can regain his 2015 form and the Ditka's probably could of snagged him for a 6th but this is a win win deal.
Pounders Grade - A
Ditka's Grade - C+
Jonathan Stewart for an 8th Round Pick
The Pounders started their fire sale with this trade 2 weeks ago. Stewart had been injured for the majority of the season but his first game back he scored 28pts. If the Pounders had held off on trading him until after his return they likely could of gotten at LEAST a 5-6th round pick.
3/5rs Grade - A
Pounders Grade - C
Robert Gronkowski for a 4th Round Pick
Top of the line TE's are notoriously hard to come by but did the Footlongs Overpay? Cobb's GM Tristan Trupka revealed that his next best offer was a 9th round pick. No one will care though if the Footlongs bring The Martin back to Orlando.
Cobb's Grade - A+
Footlongs Grade - B
Jimmy Graham and Matt Asiata for a 10th Round Pick
Neither of these players move the needle much for the 3/5r's but then again neither does a 10th round pick. Graham may see some starts but Asiata is nothing but insurance.
3/5r's - B-
Monkeys - B-
Michelle Crabtree and Lesean McCoy for a 4th and 7th round pick
The Tates are going for Broke this year but did they really need to make this trade? They already have 2 top 10 RB's and 2 Top 10 WR's so someone will be riding the bench each week.
Puff's- A
Tates - D
Kelvin Benjamin for a 5th Round Pick
Since the Zippers acquired Kelvin Benjamin 1 month ago he has yet to have a double digit point total. Is that production worth a 5th round pick?
Monkeys - A
Zippers - D-
Tom Brady for an 8th Round Pick
Touchdown Tom is back from suspension and will now be slinging the rock for the Zipper Destroyers. QB was a position of need for the Zippers and they waited until the last second and were able to snag Brady for an 8th round pick. Considering that Cam Newton went for a 4th round pick just 2 days earlier this may have been the steal of the trade deadline.
Zippers - A+
Puff's - F
Dezerai Bryant for a 7th Round Pick
The Firechefs were desperate for some production at the WR spot but Dez Bryant has spent the Majority of the last 2 years injured on the sideline. Rookie QB Dak Prescott may not even know who he is!
Firechefs - C
Puff's - B
1. Huge Ditkas 6-1
The W is flying high in The Windy City.
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs 4-3
The Footlongs are back baby! 145 points last week and the chance to end the Killers Playoff hopes this week.
3. Raytown 3/5rs 5-2
Raytown will go wild if the 3/5r's can lock up the 2 seed and get a first round bye.
4. My Lucky Tate 4-3
With the recent acquisitions of Crabtree and McCoy the Tate may have forgotten there is only 1 football on the field and not everyone can have it at the same time.
5. The Firechefs 5-2
Another lackluster performance last week but another W.
6. I Touchdown There 3-4
Impressive win last week but most the contenders got better while they stood still.
7. Zipper Destroyers 3-4
The Destroyers stunk up the bed last week but hope Touchdown Tom's veteran leadership can help them make the playoffs.
8. Keckism Killers 3-4
There are 8 teams competing for 6 playoff spots and the Killers are at the bottom of that group.
9. PV Monkeys 3-4
Don't sleep on the Monkeys as they still have an outside shot at the playoffs despite trading away their star players.
10. Puff Puff Pass 2-5
The Pass's got a bounty of draft picks for their players but some of their fans are still dreaming about what could of been.
11. Slobb on My Cobb 2-5
Maybe let Jenny run your team again?
12. Polygamy Pounders 2-5
Automatic W every week for whoever they play.
120 Miles East of Gods Country
HOT STOVE EDITION
Wow guyz! What an action packed finish to the KSFBFFL trade deadline as a total of 6 deals were completed in the last 2 days. The folks at BWKNBNC were on top of all the deals and are we plan on breaking them down to see who came out ahead.
Cam Newton for a 4th round pick
Was there any doubt this deal wouldn't get done? The Pounder's have been in fire sale mode for 4 weeks while the Ditka's are in First Place despite starting Tyrod Taylor. Questions remain as to whether Cam can regain his 2015 form and the Ditka's probably could of snagged him for a 6th but this is a win win deal.
Pounders Grade - A
Ditka's Grade - C+
Jonathan Stewart for an 8th Round Pick
The Pounders started their fire sale with this trade 2 weeks ago. Stewart had been injured for the majority of the season but his first game back he scored 28pts. If the Pounders had held off on trading him until after his return they likely could of gotten at LEAST a 5-6th round pick.
3/5rs Grade - A
Pounders Grade - C
Robert Gronkowski for a 4th Round Pick
Top of the line TE's are notoriously hard to come by but did the Footlongs Overpay? Cobb's GM Tristan Trupka revealed that his next best offer was a 9th round pick. No one will care though if the Footlongs bring The Martin back to Orlando.
Cobb's Grade - A+
Footlongs Grade - B
Jimmy Graham and Matt Asiata for a 10th Round Pick
Neither of these players move the needle much for the 3/5r's but then again neither does a 10th round pick. Graham may see some starts but Asiata is nothing but insurance.
3/5r's - B-
Monkeys - B-
Michelle Crabtree and Lesean McCoy for a 4th and 7th round pick
The Tates are going for Broke this year but did they really need to make this trade? They already have 2 top 10 RB's and 2 Top 10 WR's so someone will be riding the bench each week.
Puff's- A
Tates - D
Kelvin Benjamin for a 5th Round Pick
Since the Zippers acquired Kelvin Benjamin 1 month ago he has yet to have a double digit point total. Is that production worth a 5th round pick?
Monkeys - A
Zippers - D-
Tom Brady for an 8th Round Pick
Touchdown Tom is back from suspension and will now be slinging the rock for the Zipper Destroyers. QB was a position of need for the Zippers and they waited until the last second and were able to snag Brady for an 8th round pick. Considering that Cam Newton went for a 4th round pick just 2 days earlier this may have been the steal of the trade deadline.
Zippers - A+
Puff's - F
Dezerai Bryant for a 7th Round Pick
The Firechefs were desperate for some production at the WR spot but Dez Bryant has spent the Majority of the last 2 years injured on the sideline. Rookie QB Dak Prescott may not even know who he is!
Firechefs - C
Puff's - B
Power Rankings
1. Huge Ditkas 6-1
The W is flying high in The Windy City.
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs 4-3
The Footlongs are back baby! 145 points last week and the chance to end the Killers Playoff hopes this week.
3. Raytown 3/5rs 5-2
Raytown will go wild if the 3/5r's can lock up the 2 seed and get a first round bye.
4. My Lucky Tate 4-3
With the recent acquisitions of Crabtree and McCoy the Tate may have forgotten there is only 1 football on the field and not everyone can have it at the same time.
5. The Firechefs 5-2
Another lackluster performance last week but another W.
6. I Touchdown There 3-4
Impressive win last week but most the contenders got better while they stood still.
7. Zipper Destroyers 3-4
The Destroyers stunk up the bed last week but hope Touchdown Tom's veteran leadership can help them make the playoffs.
8. Keckism Killers 3-4
There are 8 teams competing for 6 playoff spots and the Killers are at the bottom of that group.
9. PV Monkeys 3-4
Don't sleep on the Monkeys as they still have an outside shot at the playoffs despite trading away their star players.
10. Puff Puff Pass 2-5
The Pass's got a bounty of draft picks for their players but some of their fans are still dreaming about what could of been.
11. Slobb on My Cobb 2-5
Maybe let Jenny run your team again?
12. Polygamy Pounders 2-5
Automatic W every week for whoever they play.
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Week 7 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Another week and another W is hung on the wall of GM Matthew Settles 1 bedroom studio apartment underneath the rickety L tracks of Chicago. The Ditka's are loaded at all positions except QB, a void that may be filled soon "My gut switching of both mediocre QBs has shown success so far but I may need one top of the line starter to finish the season out" Settle said before before rubbing salt in the wounds of the Touchdowns "I tried to hand the game to Brundgart last week by leaving 40 pts on the bench but we proved to be too strong!".
What is going on in Cigar City USA? Despite a 109 pt performance last week the Footlongs fell for the 3rd time in 4 games. The running back core of Anderson/Forte/Blount that once looked so ferocious now looks more like a stray cat trapped in an alley. With a trip to Mid America on the schedule this week we asked GM Sven Ali Baba how the travel may affect his team's performance. "No issues" he said, "We like our matchup this week against the Cobb's, look for a bounce back win"
I don't know what to make of these destroyers...Do they have an offensive nickname? Yes. Do they have a GM with Championship level skills? Yes (2 baseball titles). But something just doesn't seem right about the Destroyers being a legit contender though. Maybe its because their owner Matt Murphy is a complete dick to the media saying "No we don't plan on acquiring another QB. Marcus and Dak are our Quarterbacks. Let me know when you have a good question, Ben"
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Are the Footlongs and Killers in danger of missing the playoffs AGAIN?
The Keckism Killers and Farve Dollar Footlongs are 2 of the original Franchises of the KSFBFFL so it came as quite the surprise last year when both missed the playoffs. Fear not they said, we just need to rebuild and we will be back.....And it looked like that for a bit. The Footlongs started the year hitting on all cylinders as they put up 143 pts in week 1, but have now lost 3 of their last 4 including losses to the rebuilding Monkeys and Pounders.
Meanwhile the Killers started the year with high expectations after acquiring 6 draft picks in the first 4 rounds. They were hot out the gate going 2-1 while scoring at least 93 points in every game but have slumped lately. They are now 3-3 and have scored 65pts or below in 2 of the last 3 weeks. If these two traditional powers keep sliding it may allow some fresh blood like the Touchdowns, Tates and Pass's to sneak into the playoffs.
1. The Huge Ditkas 5-1
Another week and another W is hung on the wall of GM Matthew Settles 1 bedroom studio apartment underneath the rickety L tracks of Chicago. The Ditka's are loaded at all positions except QB, a void that may be filled soon "My gut switching of both mediocre QBs has shown success so far but I may need one top of the line starter to finish the season out" Settle said before before rubbing salt in the wounds of the Touchdowns "I tried to hand the game to Brundgart last week by leaving 40 pts on the bench but we proved to be too strong!".
2. Raytown 3/5rs 4-2
The Three Fifthers continue to roll as they settle into their new digs in Raytown, this time it was a 97-40 win over the hapless Monkeys. Newly acquired RB Jonathan Stewart scored 20 pts and their first round pick Lamar Miller finally got in the end zone(twice) on his way to scoring 28 pts. With Doug "The Muscle Hamster" Martin set to return from injury in a couple of weeks this team is starting to take the shape of a championship contender. "We feel good" Coach Lady Keck said "We trust that Jacquiz can fill in adequately until Dougie returns and know that Matthew Ryan is going to keep slinging the ball to TY Hilton and Michael Evans".
3. The Firechefs 4-2
I would like to personally thank Firechefs GM Justin Van Heche for not only hosting my birthday party this Friday but also the KSFBFFL Fall meeting! Come prepared to swap draft picks for players this Friday 10-21 where all the out of towners and locals can meet in one place! In other news the Firechefs lost a heartbreaker to the Destroyers last week and now face the surging Auto Pass's. Better set your lineup before you spend all weekend making out with your WIFE!
4. Farve Dollar Footlongs 3-3
What is going on in Cigar City USA? Despite a 109 pt performance last week the Footlongs fell for the 3rd time in 4 games. The running back core of Anderson/Forte/Blount that once looked so ferocious now looks more like a stray cat trapped in an alley. With a trip to Mid America on the schedule this week we asked GM Sven Ali Baba how the travel may affect his team's performance. "No issues" he said, "We like our matchup this week against the Cobb's, look for a bounce back win"
5. Zipper Destroyers 3-3
I don't know what to make of these destroyers...Do they have an offensive nickname? Yes. Do they have a GM with Championship level skills? Yes (2 baseball titles). But something just doesn't seem right about the Destroyers being a legit contender though. Maybe its because their owner Matt Murphy is a complete dick to the media saying "No we don't plan on acquiring another QB. Marcus and Dak are our Quarterbacks. Let me know when you have a good question, Ben"
6. My Lucky Tates 3-3
PEW! PEW! PEW! The Tates came out all guns a blazing last week led by 25 pts from Kenny Britt and 22 pts from Spencer Ware in their 105-78 beat down of the Cobbs. We tried to reach out to GM Casey Wayne Walker to get this thoughts on their upcoming matchup with Killers but he said "I refuse to speak with the liberal media, all you do is lie and support Hillary"
7. Keckism Killers 3-3
With Big Ben out for 4-6 weeks the Killers will be hitching their Wagon behind stud throughbred Matthew Stafford in an attempt to save their season. The Killers will need RB Todd Gurley to increase his production to make up for former starter Latavious Murray being relegated to second string status in Oakland. When asked if Big Ben would regain his starting job when he returns from injury GM Boo Boo Stanley said "We don't know, it's up in the air, we are just trying to win a ball game"
8. Puff Puff Pass 2-4
Don't look now but the Auto Pass's now lead the league in Total Points after their 130-109 shellacking of the sliding Footlongs. After scoring 62 points in week 1 the Pass's have topped the 90 point total every week and have scored 100+ in their last 3 games. GM Taco Meyers has turned down several offers for star RB LeSean McCoy saying "You'll never get this, You'll never get this" and feels confident that his team will continue winning "Touchdown Tom came to play! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!"
9. I Touchdown There 2-4
Yet another heartbreak in the Metroplex this week as the touchdowns fall 5 pts short of a victory against the Firechefs. Despite having the second highest point total this year the Touchdowns have 4 losses by a combined 19 points. The Touchdowns may have the best RB trio in the league but they will need more production from Aaron Rodgers and their receivers if they hope to turn their season around.
10. PV Monkeys 3-3
Forty Points. Forty Points is all the PV Monkeys could manage last week in the 97-40 loss to the 3/5rs. "We are garbage" Coach McKinley said "Injuries and lack of draft picks did me in this year but that is the price you have to pay when you are constantly in the playoffs. We went all in last year and are now paying the price"
11. Polygamy Pounders 2-4
"CAM. NEWTON. IS. ON. THE. BLOCK." Pounders GM Cheese McGee keeps reiterating despite an impressive win last week against the Killers. "It was a solid week for sure" he continued "but I'm gonna let the other GM's decide how good my players are. The doors and phone lines are wide open"
12. Slobb On My Cobb 2-4
The Martin is a cruel Mistress. After spending 2 long years sleeping with Tucker she seems to have sapped his will to compete as evident by his league low 431 points. The Cobbs are also the only team not to break 100pts this season so don't count on them sneaking up and knocking off a contender.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Week 6 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
3/5rs coach Lady taking in a view of the beautiful Missouri River
When GM Ben Keck approached me about taking over the head coaching job I was initially hesitant. I've always been a huge fan of the KSFBFFL and have followed it closely all of my life, to have an opportunity to coach such a historic franchise was an opportunity I could not pass up. I've got 10 hrs a day where I'm home alone with nothing to do except dig holes and chew bones. With my new responsibility I plan to spend all my available time scouring the waiver wire and interacting with my players on twitter.
A gut call? No, thats a clown question bro. That was 3 weeks worth of preparation that led to my decision to start Artis-Payne.
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Katy Bar the Door! The 3/5rs are cummin!!!
The Raytown 3/5rs shook up their coaching staff last week when GM Ben Keck relinquished his coaching role to up and coming WR coach Lady. The shakeup paid immediate results as Lady led the 3/5rs to a comeback victory after expertly selecting her lineup card. We sat down with the 3/5rs new coach to learn more.
Q: The 3/5r's are one of the pillar franchises of the KSFBFFL but have fallen on hard times recently having not won a playoff game since 2011. How do you intend to bring them back to their rightful place atop the league?
When GM Ben Keck approached me about taking over the head coaching job I was initially hesitant. I've always been a huge fan of the KSFBFFL and have followed it closely all of my life, to have an opportunity to coach such a historic franchise was an opportunity I could not pass up. I've got 10 hrs a day where I'm home alone with nothing to do except dig holes and chew bones. With my new responsibility I plan to spend all my available time scouring the waiver wire and interacting with my players on twitter.
Q: That was a ballsy call last week starting Cameron Artis-Payne (combined 6 pts in last 2 games) last week but it paid off big with a 20pt performance. Was that a gut call?
A gut call? No, thats a clown question bro. That was 3 weeks worth of preparation that led to my decision to start Artis-Payne.
Q: When will Doug Martin return to the lineup?
That's a great question Ben and I wish I could give you an answer but its all up to the doctors. We are hoping to have him back after his Bye this week to help us make a late season push for the 1 seed. Now if you excuse me I see a rabbit trying to break into the garden.
1. Huge Ditkas 4-1
The Ditka's rise to the top spot in the league this week after an impressive 53pt beatdown of the Zipper Destroyers. GM Matthew Settle's decision to start 2 TE's paid off in a big way as Greg Olsen put up 18pts and Martellus Bennet scored 3 TDs on the way to a 24pt performance.
2. Keckism Killers 3-2
With their highest scoring week of the season(116pts) the Killers are feeling confident ahead of this weeks matchup against the Pounders. "Its gonna be a cakewalk" GM Jason Stanley said, "Gurley is finally hitting on all cylinders and D Murray may have been the steal of the draft"
3. Farve Dollar Footlongs 3-2
What happened to the footlongs? They started out the year with aspirations of taking their place alongside the 2013 Firechefs as one of the GOAT but have lost 2 of their last 3. More concerning is that they have not broken 100 pts since week 2 and put up a measly 61 last week in a thrashing at the hands of the PV Monkeys.
GM Steve Murphy has a plan though "It was pitiful last week and that's why we are bringing in Presidential Candidate Donald Trump to speak at our team dinner on Thursday night. Lets just say that we plan to grab our opponent by the pussy next week!"
4. Firechefs 4-1
Speaking of the Firechefs ole CW may have finally whipped his team into shape as evident by their comeback 108-104 victory over the Touchdowns. Despite being down 45 pts after the thursday night game the Firechefs came roaring back with Derek Carr scoring 21 pts and Waiver Wire Hero Tyrell Williams scoring 17.
The Firechefs face another high scoring team this week in the Zipper Destroyers but CW is not worried "I plan on running the same team out on the field that I have all season long" he said, "We don't see any reason to make changes at this point".
5. Raytown 3/5rs 3-2
Raytown residents have nicknamed this team the cardiac kids as they erased a 40 pt deficit on Monday Night Football to beat the Auto Pass's. With Mike Evans and Doug Martin/Jacquizz Rogers on Bye this week we they are going to need some other players to step up.
"We still believe that Lamar Miller(#19 overall draft pick) can be an impact player" GM Ben Keck stated, "He was less than impressive this week and has yet to score a TD but Lady has promised to give him some extra coaching this week".
6. I Touchdown There 2-3
Despite leading the league with 525 points and never scoring less than 95 The Touchdowns find themselves with a losing record. With 3 of the leagues top 4 RB's the Touchdowns have the manpower to turn their season around GM Mike Gomez knows every game from here on out is important.
"We are focusing on the game in front of us and thats it. All our guys are focused on getting better and we are ready to take down the Ditkas"
7. PV Porch Monkeys 3-2
Two weeks ago The Monkeys were dead in the water and in the process of selling off their team. Has two straight wins changed GM Pearce Wilson's mind? According to him that a big fat negative as he was quoted as saying "The rebuilding process has not been halted but we are still attempting to remain competitive, expectations are still low."
8. My Lucky Tates 2-3
The Tates have a solid team but is it championship caliber? Sure Julio Jones is a stud and Tevin Coleman/Andrew Luck are good players but GM Casey Wayne Walker has been talking like a defeatist lately. When asked how Jamaal Charles return will effect running back Spencer Ware he let a single tear roll down his face and whispered "It's over....".
9. Zipper Destroyers 2-3
After another loss has some people questioning GM Matt Murphy's decision to acquire Kelvin Benjamin but he is not backing down "The phone lines are always open, but it will take a good offer to forfeit our season before the halfway point. Jamaal's return gives us a critical piece to make a playoff run. We can afford to drop a couple more, we aren't worried."
Thing don't get easier this week as the Destroyers travel to take on the 4-1 Firechefs.
10. Slobb on my Cobb 2-3
Two deep playoff runs in a row may have taken their toll on the Cobb's this year. With only 1 player, their kicker, ranked in the top 10 there may not even be any pieces to sell off for draft picks.
11. Puff Puff Auto Pass 1-4
Tom Brady's explosive return to the KSFBFFL was overshadowed by the 3/5rs dramatic comeback victory. The Auto Pass's face a tough road to the playoffs but if GM Austin Taco decides to trade his team away he could get a fools bounty. Look for McCoy/Brady/Crabtree to be playing on different teams by the time the trade deadline rolls around.
12. Polygamy Pounders 1-4
A season low 52 pts last week may have signaled the end of the Pounders hopes of being competitive. GM Keane Cheese was in a somber mood after the loss "Up until now we had been focused on beating the opponent placed in front of us and as a result had deflected all trade offers....but i do think after this latest defeat its time to declare the market open. Look for the wacky waving inflatable arm guy outside of dailybread.com stadium"
1. Huge Ditkas 4-1
The Ditka's rise to the top spot in the league this week after an impressive 53pt beatdown of the Zipper Destroyers. GM Matthew Settle's decision to start 2 TE's paid off in a big way as Greg Olsen put up 18pts and Martellus Bennet scored 3 TDs on the way to a 24pt performance.
2. Keckism Killers 3-2
With their highest scoring week of the season(116pts) the Killers are feeling confident ahead of this weeks matchup against the Pounders. "Its gonna be a cakewalk" GM Jason Stanley said, "Gurley is finally hitting on all cylinders and D Murray may have been the steal of the draft"
3. Farve Dollar Footlongs 3-2
What happened to the footlongs? They started out the year with aspirations of taking their place alongside the 2013 Firechefs as one of the GOAT but have lost 2 of their last 3. More concerning is that they have not broken 100 pts since week 2 and put up a measly 61 last week in a thrashing at the hands of the PV Monkeys.
GM Steve Murphy has a plan though "It was pitiful last week and that's why we are bringing in Presidential Candidate Donald Trump to speak at our team dinner on Thursday night. Lets just say that we plan to grab our opponent by the pussy next week!"
4. Firechefs 4-1
Speaking of the Firechefs ole CW may have finally whipped his team into shape as evident by their comeback 108-104 victory over the Touchdowns. Despite being down 45 pts after the thursday night game the Firechefs came roaring back with Derek Carr scoring 21 pts and Waiver Wire Hero Tyrell Williams scoring 17.
The Firechefs face another high scoring team this week in the Zipper Destroyers but CW is not worried "I plan on running the same team out on the field that I have all season long" he said, "We don't see any reason to make changes at this point".
5. Raytown 3/5rs 3-2
Raytown residents have nicknamed this team the cardiac kids as they erased a 40 pt deficit on Monday Night Football to beat the Auto Pass's. With Mike Evans and Doug Martin/Jacquizz Rogers on Bye this week we they are going to need some other players to step up.
"We still believe that Lamar Miller(#19 overall draft pick) can be an impact player" GM Ben Keck stated, "He was less than impressive this week and has yet to score a TD but Lady has promised to give him some extra coaching this week".
6. I Touchdown There 2-3
Despite leading the league with 525 points and never scoring less than 95 The Touchdowns find themselves with a losing record. With 3 of the leagues top 4 RB's the Touchdowns have the manpower to turn their season around GM Mike Gomez knows every game from here on out is important.
"We are focusing on the game in front of us and thats it. All our guys are focused on getting better and we are ready to take down the Ditkas"
7. PV Porch Monkeys 3-2
Two weeks ago The Monkeys were dead in the water and in the process of selling off their team. Has two straight wins changed GM Pearce Wilson's mind? According to him that a big fat negative as he was quoted as saying "The rebuilding process has not been halted but we are still attempting to remain competitive, expectations are still low."
8. My Lucky Tates 2-3
The Tates have a solid team but is it championship caliber? Sure Julio Jones is a stud and Tevin Coleman/Andrew Luck are good players but GM Casey Wayne Walker has been talking like a defeatist lately. When asked how Jamaal Charles return will effect running back Spencer Ware he let a single tear roll down his face and whispered "It's over....".
9. Zipper Destroyers 2-3
After another loss has some people questioning GM Matt Murphy's decision to acquire Kelvin Benjamin but he is not backing down "The phone lines are always open, but it will take a good offer to forfeit our season before the halfway point. Jamaal's return gives us a critical piece to make a playoff run. We can afford to drop a couple more, we aren't worried."
Thing don't get easier this week as the Destroyers travel to take on the 4-1 Firechefs.
10. Slobb on my Cobb 2-3
Two deep playoff runs in a row may have taken their toll on the Cobb's this year. With only 1 player, their kicker, ranked in the top 10 there may not even be any pieces to sell off for draft picks.
11. Puff Puff Auto Pass 1-4
Tom Brady's explosive return to the KSFBFFL was overshadowed by the 3/5rs dramatic comeback victory. The Auto Pass's face a tough road to the playoffs but if GM Austin Taco decides to trade his team away he could get a fools bounty. Look for McCoy/Brady/Crabtree to be playing on different teams by the time the trade deadline rolls around.
12. Polygamy Pounders 1-4
A season low 52 pts last week may have signaled the end of the Pounders hopes of being competitive. GM Keane Cheese was in a somber mood after the loss "Up until now we had been focused on beating the opponent placed in front of us and as a result had deflected all trade offers....but i do think after this latest defeat its time to declare the market open. Look for the wacky waving inflatable arm guy outside of dailybread.com stadium"
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Week 4 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
120 Miles East of Gods Country
Week 3 of KSFBFFL was everything anyone could of hoped for with the drama continuing late into Monday Night as the Tate's eeked out a 1 pt victory over the Touchdowns. After a shocking loss by the Footlongs The Firechefs of North OP emerged as the only undefeated team left despite never scoring more than 86 points and declining every week. With 10/12 teams at either 1-2 or 2-1 week 4 should separate the wheat from the chaff.
1. Farve Dollar Footlongs 2-1
With a shocking loss to the previously win less pounders the footlongs dropped from the ranks of the unbeaten. When asked why he kept Jeremy Hill and his 21pts on the bench GM Steve Murphy said there is no one to blame but him and mentioned Hill could be in play for a starting spot next week "We have some tough decisions this week as all 4 RB's are worthy of a starting spot. Blount and CJ are locked in, will come down to either Forte or Hill for the flex start". The footlongs will need all hands on deck this week as they hope to take down the undefeated Firechefs.
2. Keckism Killers 2-1
Is there a QB Controversy brewing in the crossroads? Starting QB Ben Rapelesberger continues to put up pedestrian numbers while stud frat star Matthew Stafford keeps lighting up the bench. GM Jason Stanley admits he has been impressed with Staffords big play potential which is something his team needs. "We have been very consistent scoring in the 90's every week but never breaking 100. We have some options but at this point we aren't worried. We will make the playoffs and anything can happen once there".
3. Huge Ditka's 2-1
If the season ended today the expansion Ditka's would have a first round bye as champions of the All Lives Matter Division. GM Matthew Settles is riding high on his 2 game win streak but admits there is still work to do "I feel like we are starting to play like a team. Except for the WR's...A combined 7 points from all 3 is unacceptable and will not stand against the teams coming up. Hopefully GM Jason Stanley keeps his kicker on the bye week in the lineup and I have a chance at a 3rd win in a row"
4. The Firechefs 3-0
When it comes to overachieving the undefeated Firechefs are certainly a team that comes to mind. They have the 3rd lowest pt total (78 ppg) but have taken down all comers so far this year. We reached out to GM Justin VanKeuser for his thoughts on this weeks matchup against childhood rival Steve Murphy "There really isn't alot of motivation needed considering that Susan Murphy is my rival. We also get our leader back in LeDevan Bell. The fact that we are 3-0 when we haven't even hit our stride yet shows the mental toughness of our team. We are welcoming Vin Diesel into the locker room this thursday to provide the pre game speech to our team to reiterate that it doesn't matter if you win by a mile or an inch, all that matters is winning"
5. Zipper Destroyers 2-1
The Zippers shocked the 3/5rs last week with a 12 pt victory last week on the back of Marvin Jones 32 pt performance. GM Matt Murphy was not happy though and traded next years 5th round pick for Monkeys WR Kelvin Benjamin. "I plan to make him WR2 next to the surging Allen Robinson" he said "Marvin Jones is getting bumped to the flex giving the zippers a top 3 WR core". We have seen this before though as the dawg traded his 3rd/4th picks in 2014 and his 4th 5th 6th round picks last year all without a title to show.
6. Raytown 3/5rs 2-1
"It was shocking, losing to a team like the Destroyers, we thought we were better" GM Benjamin William Keck IV said at his post game press conference. What isn't shocking is that this team once again failed to score 100 points. Look for the 3/5rs to pay closer attention to Injury reports this week as they left TY Hilton and his 23pts on the bench.
7. My Lucky Tate's 1-2
A last second pt on Monday Night football propelled the Tate's over the Touchdowns last week and GM Casey Wayne Walker knew who to thank "We just thank GOD for the win this week and look forward to hosting the rebuilding Monkeys this week". "Every week is a new opportunity" he continued, "We have had some injuries but have to adjust, our talented WR's have bailed out our struggling QB and that needs to change."
8. I Touchdown There 1-2
The Touchdowns suffered a last second meltdown last week and all of a sudden find themselves in dire straights despite having the 2nd most total points. With Aaron Rodgers on a bye this week the Touchdowns face a must win next week against the Pounders. GM Mike Gomez understands the importance of this weeks matchup saying "Its very important. We have all the right pieces in place its just a matter of executing. We are confident that we will get on track this week."
9. Polygamy Pounders 1-2
After shocking the world last week by taking down the #1 Footlongs Pounders GM Keene Cheese also realizes the importance of this weeks matchup against the Touchdowns. I spoke with him briefly and asked if a loss means its time to rebuild, "No doubt its a pivotal week for sure, You can say that for both teams, 2-2 is something that can be built on, 1-3 is a deep, deep hole"
10. Slobb on My Cobb 1-2
Reigning Champion Tristan Trupka also faces a do or die matchup this week against the 3/5rs. Unfortunately for him 2 starters are on bye leaving him to scour the waiver wire. GM Trupka realizes what a loss may mean for his hopes for a 3 peat and when asked if he would consider a rebuild if the Cobbs lose he despondently responded, "Afraid So".
11. PV Monkeys 1-2
It's rebuild time on W 70th street as GM Molly McKinley has begun trading away pieces for draft picks. WR Kelvin Benjamin was the first casualty but Antonio Brown expects to fetch the biggest bounty. When asked why he decided to rebuild so early in the year he said "We lost some important pieces for the year last week. We had an offer on the table we felt comfortable with and don't believe our team will be a championship contender this year. Sometimes its best to take 1 step back to take 2 steps forward"
12. Puff Puff Auto Pass 0-3
GM Austin Meyers declined to respond to inquiries from BWKNBNC and still has not paid his dues.
120 Miles East of Gods Country
AND THEN ONLY 1 REMAINED
Over the summer Firechefs GM Justin VanHeche attempted to drink himself to death in order to avoid his upcoming nuptials.
Week 3 of KSFBFFL was everything anyone could of hoped for with the drama continuing late into Monday Night as the Tate's eeked out a 1 pt victory over the Touchdowns. After a shocking loss by the Footlongs The Firechefs of North OP emerged as the only undefeated team left despite never scoring more than 86 points and declining every week. With 10/12 teams at either 1-2 or 2-1 week 4 should separate the wheat from the chaff.
1. Farve Dollar Footlongs 2-1
With a shocking loss to the previously win less pounders the footlongs dropped from the ranks of the unbeaten. When asked why he kept Jeremy Hill and his 21pts on the bench GM Steve Murphy said there is no one to blame but him and mentioned Hill could be in play for a starting spot next week "We have some tough decisions this week as all 4 RB's are worthy of a starting spot. Blount and CJ are locked in, will come down to either Forte or Hill for the flex start". The footlongs will need all hands on deck this week as they hope to take down the undefeated Firechefs.
2. Keckism Killers 2-1
Is there a QB Controversy brewing in the crossroads? Starting QB Ben Rapelesberger continues to put up pedestrian numbers while stud frat star Matthew Stafford keeps lighting up the bench. GM Jason Stanley admits he has been impressed with Staffords big play potential which is something his team needs. "We have been very consistent scoring in the 90's every week but never breaking 100. We have some options but at this point we aren't worried. We will make the playoffs and anything can happen once there".
3. Huge Ditka's 2-1
If the season ended today the expansion Ditka's would have a first round bye as champions of the All Lives Matter Division. GM Matthew Settles is riding high on his 2 game win streak but admits there is still work to do "I feel like we are starting to play like a team. Except for the WR's...A combined 7 points from all 3 is unacceptable and will not stand against the teams coming up. Hopefully GM Jason Stanley keeps his kicker on the bye week in the lineup and I have a chance at a 3rd win in a row"
4. The Firechefs 3-0
When it comes to overachieving the undefeated Firechefs are certainly a team that comes to mind. They have the 3rd lowest pt total (78 ppg) but have taken down all comers so far this year. We reached out to GM Justin VanKeuser for his thoughts on this weeks matchup against childhood rival Steve Murphy "There really isn't alot of motivation needed considering that Susan Murphy is my rival. We also get our leader back in LeDevan Bell. The fact that we are 3-0 when we haven't even hit our stride yet shows the mental toughness of our team. We are welcoming Vin Diesel into the locker room this thursday to provide the pre game speech to our team to reiterate that it doesn't matter if you win by a mile or an inch, all that matters is winning"
5. Zipper Destroyers 2-1
The Zippers shocked the 3/5rs last week with a 12 pt victory last week on the back of Marvin Jones 32 pt performance. GM Matt Murphy was not happy though and traded next years 5th round pick for Monkeys WR Kelvin Benjamin. "I plan to make him WR2 next to the surging Allen Robinson" he said "Marvin Jones is getting bumped to the flex giving the zippers a top 3 WR core". We have seen this before though as the dawg traded his 3rd/4th picks in 2014 and his 4th 5th 6th round picks last year all without a title to show.
6. Raytown 3/5rs 2-1
"It was shocking, losing to a team like the Destroyers, we thought we were better" GM Benjamin William Keck IV said at his post game press conference. What isn't shocking is that this team once again failed to score 100 points. Look for the 3/5rs to pay closer attention to Injury reports this week as they left TY Hilton and his 23pts on the bench.
7. My Lucky Tate's 1-2
A last second pt on Monday Night football propelled the Tate's over the Touchdowns last week and GM Casey Wayne Walker knew who to thank "We just thank GOD for the win this week and look forward to hosting the rebuilding Monkeys this week". "Every week is a new opportunity" he continued, "We have had some injuries but have to adjust, our talented WR's have bailed out our struggling QB and that needs to change."
8. I Touchdown There 1-2
The Touchdowns suffered a last second meltdown last week and all of a sudden find themselves in dire straights despite having the 2nd most total points. With Aaron Rodgers on a bye this week the Touchdowns face a must win next week against the Pounders. GM Mike Gomez understands the importance of this weeks matchup saying "Its very important. We have all the right pieces in place its just a matter of executing. We are confident that we will get on track this week."
9. Polygamy Pounders 1-2
After shocking the world last week by taking down the #1 Footlongs Pounders GM Keene Cheese also realizes the importance of this weeks matchup against the Touchdowns. I spoke with him briefly and asked if a loss means its time to rebuild, "No doubt its a pivotal week for sure, You can say that for both teams, 2-2 is something that can be built on, 1-3 is a deep, deep hole"
10. Slobb on My Cobb 1-2
Reigning Champion Tristan Trupka also faces a do or die matchup this week against the 3/5rs. Unfortunately for him 2 starters are on bye leaving him to scour the waiver wire. GM Trupka realizes what a loss may mean for his hopes for a 3 peat and when asked if he would consider a rebuild if the Cobbs lose he despondently responded, "Afraid So".
11. PV Monkeys 1-2
It's rebuild time on W 70th street as GM Molly McKinley has begun trading away pieces for draft picks. WR Kelvin Benjamin was the first casualty but Antonio Brown expects to fetch the biggest bounty. When asked why he decided to rebuild so early in the year he said "We lost some important pieces for the year last week. We had an offer on the table we felt comfortable with and don't believe our team will be a championship contender this year. Sometimes its best to take 1 step back to take 2 steps forward"
12. Puff Puff Auto Pass 0-3
GM Austin Meyers declined to respond to inquiries from BWKNBNC and still has not paid his dues.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Week 3 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
140 Miles East of Gods Country
SHOCKER IN RAYTOWN!!!
Killers WR Larry Fitzgerald cost his team a W last week
Wow! What a ending to week 2! The Killers thought they had squeaked out a 1 point victory over their Arch Rival 3/5rs but a late stat correction by The World Wide Leader in Sports sent the Killers spirits in the dumpster.
Lets take a look at this weeks power rankings.
1. Farve Dollar Footlongs 2-0
The Footlongs continued their dominate start to the season with a 104-95 win over the Touchdowns. CJ Anderson will need to keep up his stellar play this week as fellow back Matthew Forte is listed as questionable. Luckily for the footlongs they have an easy matchup against the hapless Pounders.
2. Raytown 3/5rs 2-0
Raytown erupted into riots last night when an ESPN Stat adjustment gave them the victory over the Keckism Killers. "Its BIG" GM Ben Keck said "We knew the stats were off and brought our case directly to ESPN. I'm glad they did the right thing but we have been focused on our matchup with the Zippers since Tuesday and did not participate in the looting last night"
3. Keckism Killers 1-1
While Raytown erupted in riots of elation all was somber in the crossroads last night. Star RB Todd Gurley has been a total disappointment this year and will look to rebound this week with an easy matchup against Puff Puff Auto Pass.
4. I Touchdown There 1-1
A solid 95 point performance by the Touchdowns last week was not enough to slow down the scorching hot Footlongs. Carlos Hyde took the blame for the loss last week saying "2 Points man, I put up 2 points. That's not going to cut it". They face a tough matchup next week against the erratic but desperate Tates.
5. The Firechiefs 2-0
Despite the 2-0 record no one seems to be taking the 2013 champs seriously due to their low point total. GM Justin VanKeuser hopes to squeak out one more victory over his former roommate Pearce McWilson this week before all star RB LedeVeonel Bell comes back from his dope addiction.
6. The Huge Ditka's 1-1
The Ditka's seem to have found their stride in the KSFBFFL last week with a league high 116 points. WR Stefon Diggs appears on his way for a breakout season which could propel first year GM Matthew Settles into the playoffs.
7. My Lucky Tates 0-2
Are the Tates for real? After an impressive 118 point total in week 1 the Tates laid an egg last week in what should of been an easy victory over the Firechiefs. Things don't get any easier this week as the tates take on the #4 ranked Touchdowns.
8. Prairie Village Monkeys 1-1
The Monkeys slept walked to a unimpressive victory last week against the Pounders. It appears as if the monkeys will need big games from Antonio Brown every week it they intend to make a playoff push.
9. Zipper Destroyers 1-1
Left for dead after week 1 the Destroyers shocked the defending champs last week putting up 111 pts. GM Matthew Murphy was not surprised "Send my team more bulletin board material. I'll trade my 4th 5th 6th rounds picks in 2017 if anyone wants them. They dont matter, I'll just defer those rounds.
10- Slobb on My Cobb 1-1
Has GM Tristan Trupka's magical run come to an end? With Co-GM Jenny Trupka running her own team now the Cobb's seem to have lost the Magic they had during their past 2 championship runs.
11. Puff Puff Auto Pass 0-2
The Auto Pass's put up a respectable 95 points last week with a solid all around performance. They need a big W this week against the Killers to avoid falling in the dreaded 0-2 hole.
12. Polygamy Pounders 0-2
2011 Champion Keane Horner may be looking to trade off his pieces as soon as next week. The Pounders have failed to score over 70 points in any week but do have some nice pieces that other teams may be interested in.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Week 2 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
8. Prairie Village Monkeys (0-1)
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Farve Dollar Footlongs Party All Night Long!
Brett Farve Checks Back Into Rehab After Relapsing on Opiates celebrating the Victory
The first week of the K-State Finest Bro's Fantasy Football League(KSFBFFL) kicked off with a bang this week with what some are already calling the game of the year. The Monkeys of Prairie Village, led by Antonio Brown, took an 18 pt lead heading into the final Monday Night Football game.
Week 2 should be just as exciting as one of the leagues oldest rivalries takes center stage when the Killers visit the 3/5rs new home in Raytown for the first time. We caught up with a local Raytown citizen named Jim Kramer who works at Jiffy Lube for his take "WWHOOOOO?!? The KILLERS?!? THEY ARE GARBAGE, 3/5R'S ARE THE BEST TEAM ON THE PLANET AND WE GONNA WIIIINNNNNNN!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Week 2 should be just as exciting as one of the leagues oldest rivalries takes center stage when the Killers visit the 3/5rs new home in Raytown for the first time. We caught up with a local Raytown citizen named Jim Kramer who works at Jiffy Lube for his take "WWHOOOOO?!? The KILLERS?!? THEY ARE GARBAGE, 3/5R'S ARE THE BEST TEAM ON THE PLANET AND WE GONNA WIIIINNNNNNN!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Power Rankings
1. Farve Dollar Footlongs (1-0)
The Footlongs were by far the most impressive team in week 1 as they jumped out to an early lead on their way to scoring a league high 143 points. With 4 of the Top 23 RB's the footlongs have plenty of pieces to play with in their quest for a second title.
2. Keckism Killers (1-0)
Jumping out to an early lead on the back of the Murray Twins the Killers were never really challenged last week in a easy victory over the Destroyers. Todd Gurley may have been able to sleep walk through week 1 but the Killers need all hands on deck this week as they take on their Arch Rival the Raytown 3/5rs.
3. My Lucky Tate (0-1)
Another Tough break for the Tate's as they finished with the second highest point total but still lost. GM Casey Wayne Walker has put together a fearsome team led by a resurgent Andrew Luck. If Spencer Ware can remain the Chiefs feature back and Jordy Nelson returns to his 2014 form the Tates could be hoisting The Martin next December.
4. Raytown 3/5rs (1-0)
Led by breakout star William Snead IV the 3/5rs easily handled the expansion Ditkas in week 1 but QB Kirk Cousins is feeling the heat after his 9 point performance. GM Ben Keck had this to say "It wasn't what we were looking for out of him. We plan to stick with him for now but Matty Ice has been throwing lasers all week in practice.
5. FireChiefs (1-0)
GM Justin VanKueser had mixed emotions about watching his 4th round pick Keenan Allen's season end after only one half "It was terrible seeing Keenan go down after having 62 yards in the first half. Time for Jordan Matthews to put on his big boy pants". Hopefully next week they will get more than 21 pts from their 5 RB/WR's.
6. I Touchdown There (1-0)
The Touchdowns won an instant classic over the snake bitten Monkeys of PV but I would hold off on joining the Touchdowns bandwagon tho as they have a reputation for tanking after week 1. The running back core of David Johnson and Carlos Hyde may be enough to keep them in contention for the Martin.
7. Slobb On My Cobb (1-0)
No doubt in my mind that Tuck Tuck spent all day spooning with The Martin while watching his team sleepwalk to another victory. Their lackluster week was saved by Deangelo Williams 28pts but it was Arian Foster and his refusal to stand for the National Anthem that GM Tuck Tuck mentioned after the game "He was benched for a reason. We don't condone such behavior, but the men who have died for this country before us fought for his right to do just that".
8. Prairie Village Monkeys (0-1)
For every great comeback win there is a loser who allowed it to happen. This week that loser resides in PV and goes by the name Pearcey Poo. The monkeys epic 18 pt defensive collapse had GM Pearce Wilson LIVID as he spent the entire post game press conference muttering "Too fat! Too Slow! More conditioning for the defense....(inaudible muttering)...fat...slow"
9. Huge Ditka's (0-1)
The Ditkas were welcomed to the KSFBFFL with an 18 pt beat down that was never as close as the score indicated. GM Matthew Settles is not worried "Devonta may not be what he was last year, but this first week doesn't scare me. I'm also excited about the possibilities Brandin Cooks will bring to the take and if Brandon Marshall can play to his potential the Ditkas will have a great second week against Puff Puff Auto Pass". ***Editors Note - Devonta was recently demoted to second string by the Falcons***
10. Polygamy Pounders (0-1)
Elder Horner was less than pleased with his teams performance in week 1 saying "The zero's put up by our TE and Flex players are troubling but we are focusing on what can be done in week 2. We need better from our starters". No mention about his confusion Sunday morning when he realized he Couldn't start both Cam Newton and Andy Dalton "Where I come from you can have both...at the same time"
11. Puff Puff Pass (0-1)
The Puff Puff Auto Pass's may be out of playoff contention before Tommy Braddy comes back from suspension. With Dez Bryant and LeSean McCoy at least he will have some decent trade pieces.
12. Zipper Destroyers (0-1)
^^^^^This years Jason Stanley. Time to start trading away what meager pieces you have for the shot at being decent next year.
Monday, September 5, 2016
2016 KSFBFFL Week 1 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Without further ado, here are you week 1 power rankings.
1. Slobb On My Cobb -
As the first GM to win 2 straight titles in the Modern Era alot of pundits are starting to compare Tristan Trupka to legendary Bama Coach Nick Saban giving him the moniker "Lil Nicky". The Cobb's don't appear to have much talent wise this year outside of Gronk but the odds are Lil Nicky knows something we dont.
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs
Worst to First? Its a possibility for the Footlongs this year as they took advantage of a plethora of extra draft picks. ESPN projects them as the highest scoring team in Week 1 but I am less than impressed with their squad. Their QB is 57 years old (Drew Brees) and their second best running back is a toss up between someone with the most carries in the past 8 years (Matt Forte) and someone splitting time in a 3 back system (CJ Anderson).
3. The Firechiefs
2013 Champion Justin VanKueser is hoping All Pro RB Adrian Peterson can keep his switch locked up for the next 6 months while he leads the Firechiefs to another championship. If the Firchiefs can avoid a slow start in the first 3 weeks the return of Le'Veon Bell will give this team the best RB duo in the league.
4. Keckism Killers
The Killers traded the house last year for a shot at the Title that has eluded Jason Stanley for his entire fantasy career. The team appears to have all the pieces they need this year led by Todd Gurley and 3 top 10 receivers from last year(Fitzgerald, Hopkins, Decker). The big unknown is how the Killers recent move from the safe suburbs to the inner city will effect their ability to game plan from week to week.
5. Raytown 3/5rs
Fresh faces abound for the 3/5rs after their relocation from Dixieland. This years squad hopes to make a splash in Raytown with the Dynamic Runningback duo of Doug Martin and Lamar Miller who were both top 6 backs last year. If his WR core of T.Y. Hilton and Mike Evans can play to their potential GM Ben Keck could bring home a record 3rd overall Title.
6. My Lucky Tate
The Tates have added another brain to their war room with the addition of lil charlie as a co-gm. They are betting big on bounceback years from Andrew Luck and Jordy Nelson but their running back core of Ryan Matthews and Lil Danny Woodhead may hold them back from serious contention.
7. I Touchdown There
GM Michael Brungy has been laid up in bed for months with a leg injury and this is the best team he could come up with? Aaron Rodgers should make decent trade bait around week 7 and maybe someone will throw an 8th round pick at David Johnson after he comes back to earth this year.
8. West Canaan Coyotes
GM Matthew Settles joins the league this year taking over for long time cellar dweller Harry Poole. The coyotes do have last years #1 running back Dvonta Freeman and #3 WR Brandon Marshall but after that things look bleak with Tyrod Taylor starting at QB. Things could get rough for first time GM but better to take his lumps now and learn from the experience.
9. Polygamy Pounders
The pounders are a perennial contender who made it all the way to the championship game last year but things are not looking great this year. Look for Cam Newton to be playing on the 3/5rs by week 8.
10. PV Porch Monkeys
Longtime bridesmaid Pearce McKinley is hoping the addition of Molly Wilson as Co-GM will get him over the hump. Other than Antonio Brown I just don't see alot of talent on this team. Their QB plays for Jacksonville which is basically a AAA franchise and their best RB will be second string by week 5. Could be a long year on W 70th St.
11. Zipper Destroyers
The Zippers traded the farm last year for a shot at glory and are now paying the the price. They currently have 5 rookies on their roster as well as Jamaal Charles who recently underwent an experimental surgery to replace his knees with tennis balls and string cheese. Is this the year he finally has a fire sale and builds for next year?
12. Puff Puff Pass
GM Puff Meyers shocked everyone in 2013 with a playoff berth but it has been all downhill since then. His most recent draft included 2 QB's in the first 3 rounds and 2 TE's in the first 7 rounds. If captain Autodraft can turn this pile of shit into a playoff team he will lock up manager of the century.
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Without further ado, here are you week 1 power rankings.
1. Slobb On My Cobb -
As the first GM to win 2 straight titles in the Modern Era alot of pundits are starting to compare Tristan Trupka to legendary Bama Coach Nick Saban giving him the moniker "Lil Nicky". The Cobb's don't appear to have much talent wise this year outside of Gronk but the odds are Lil Nicky knows something we dont.
2. Farve Dollar Footlongs
Worst to First? Its a possibility for the Footlongs this year as they took advantage of a plethora of extra draft picks. ESPN projects them as the highest scoring team in Week 1 but I am less than impressed with their squad. Their QB is 57 years old (Drew Brees) and their second best running back is a toss up between someone with the most carries in the past 8 years (Matt Forte) and someone splitting time in a 3 back system (CJ Anderson).
3. The Firechiefs
2013 Champion Justin VanKueser is hoping All Pro RB Adrian Peterson can keep his switch locked up for the next 6 months while he leads the Firechiefs to another championship. If the Firchiefs can avoid a slow start in the first 3 weeks the return of Le'Veon Bell will give this team the best RB duo in the league.
4. Keckism Killers
The Killers traded the house last year for a shot at the Title that has eluded Jason Stanley for his entire fantasy career. The team appears to have all the pieces they need this year led by Todd Gurley and 3 top 10 receivers from last year(Fitzgerald, Hopkins, Decker). The big unknown is how the Killers recent move from the safe suburbs to the inner city will effect their ability to game plan from week to week.
5. Raytown 3/5rs
Fresh faces abound for the 3/5rs after their relocation from Dixieland. This years squad hopes to make a splash in Raytown with the Dynamic Runningback duo of Doug Martin and Lamar Miller who were both top 6 backs last year. If his WR core of T.Y. Hilton and Mike Evans can play to their potential GM Ben Keck could bring home a record 3rd overall Title.
6. My Lucky Tate
The Tates have added another brain to their war room with the addition of lil charlie as a co-gm. They are betting big on bounceback years from Andrew Luck and Jordy Nelson but their running back core of Ryan Matthews and Lil Danny Woodhead may hold them back from serious contention.
7. I Touchdown There
GM Michael Brungy has been laid up in bed for months with a leg injury and this is the best team he could come up with? Aaron Rodgers should make decent trade bait around week 7 and maybe someone will throw an 8th round pick at David Johnson after he comes back to earth this year.
8. West Canaan Coyotes
GM Matthew Settles joins the league this year taking over for long time cellar dweller Harry Poole. The coyotes do have last years #1 running back Dvonta Freeman and #3 WR Brandon Marshall but after that things look bleak with Tyrod Taylor starting at QB. Things could get rough for first time GM but better to take his lumps now and learn from the experience.
9. Polygamy Pounders
The pounders are a perennial contender who made it all the way to the championship game last year but things are not looking great this year. Look for Cam Newton to be playing on the 3/5rs by week 8.
10. PV Porch Monkeys
Longtime bridesmaid Pearce McKinley is hoping the addition of Molly Wilson as Co-GM will get him over the hump. Other than Antonio Brown I just don't see alot of talent on this team. Their QB plays for Jacksonville which is basically a AAA franchise and their best RB will be second string by week 5. Could be a long year on W 70th St.
11. Zipper Destroyers
The Zippers traded the farm last year for a shot at glory and are now paying the the price. They currently have 5 rookies on their roster as well as Jamaal Charles who recently underwent an experimental surgery to replace his knees with tennis balls and string cheese. Is this the year he finally has a fire sale and builds for next year?
12. Puff Puff Pass
GM Puff Meyers shocked everyone in 2013 with a playoff berth but it has been all downhill since then. His most recent draft included 2 QB's in the first 3 rounds and 2 TE's in the first 7 rounds. If captain Autodraft can turn this pile of shit into a playoff team he will lock up manager of the century.
Monday, June 13, 2016
Week 11 Power Rankings
Ben Ji
140 Miles East of Gods Country
140 Miles East of Gods Country
Week 11 Power Rankings
An overhead view of the middle of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Standings
1. Boats
n Hosmers (8-2) The Boats have started the season on an impressive hot streak
averaging 386 ppg but a fellow GM who would like to remain anonymous is not
worried “Schoon? Yeah, they are starting the season well but he has no
experience winning the big game. If he can keep his team healthy, and that’s a
big IF, then expect nothing more than a first round exit”.
GM Schoon McGoon
thinks otherwise “This is my 3rd year in the league and we have made
the playoffs every season which is unprecedented for an expansion team(See
Cross). With this pace we expect another appearance. If we can cap it off with
a championship they might need to think about replacing one of the faces on Mt.
Rushmore”
2. Hosmer Stole My Girl (7-3) Newcomer Jared
Concannon has taken the league by storm with his Analytic Revolution. We
reached out to Ben Keck, GM of the defending champion Rebel Yell, for his
take on their hot start. “It’s a Mirage, we see this every year. Some team
starts out hot and everyone is clamoring that this will be the year someone
besides the 3 Titans(Yell/Cain’s/Chen’s) wins the league…but it never happens”
3. Rebel
Yell (5-5) Despite leading the league with 394ppg ole Rebel Yell is still just
5-5 due to some bad breaks. The team keeps chugging along though and has
positioned themselves well with the pickup of Sonny Gray off the trash heap.
“Its Ridiculous” GM Ben Keck shouted “Its ridiculous how stupid some people
could be. Waive Sonny Gray 2 months into the season? Come on bro, make it a
challenge for me!”
4. Chen
Music (6-4) The Chen’s are putting together another solid season behind young
guns like Jake Arietta and Stephen Strasbourg. 2 Time champion GM Matt Murphy
has faced some tough questions about his possible overuse of these starters but
responded by saying “Those guys are horses! Did Nyquist wear down after winning
the Kentucky Derby???.....Well, bad example. Look, our eyes are set on winning
our 3rd championship and we have the balance to do so. We don’t rely
on 1,2, or even 5 players, it’s a team effort here”
5. Lo
Cain’s (5-5) GM Sven Murphy has his team rolling on a 4 game winning streak and
attributes it to “The emergence of young players like Eric Hosmer, Bryce Harper
and Steven Matz. These players are young and hungry”. A young and hungry team
combined with Sven’s championship experience(2 Titles) could make this a team
that no one wants to face in the Playoffs.
6. HGH
Junkies (5-5) Perennial bridesmaid Pearce McKinley has put together another
respectable squad this year but Anxiety is setting in that this team may not be
good enough to wear the white dress. “I’m willing to listen to all offers” Maid
of Honor Pearce McKinley said “Kershaw is on the block for the right price. It
would require 2 players clearly above replacement level. I’m not trading
Kershaw for a good player and “Joe the baseball player” who can be found on
waivers.” There you have it folks, a BWKNBNC exclusive, Clayton Kershaw is on
the block.
7. Team
Elephant (5-5) Is fatherhood having an adverse effect on Casey Wayne Walkers
managerial abilities? Lil Charlie may be cuter than an Asian kid in glasses but
Team Elephant’s fans are getting anxious about their 3 game losing streak.
8. Los
Gringos Blancos (4-6) Things were starting to look bleak for the Blancos after
a 0-4 start but GM Cheese Horner rallied the troops back into contention. They
face a HUGE midseason matchup this week against the Junkies and Cheese is
sounding pretty confident “Consider this a fitting for his bridesmaid dress”
9. Team
Cross (3-7) Last years expansion team continues to struggle in the League Of
Extraordinary Gentlemen. GM Alex Cross has refuted rumors that his squad was
thinking about dropping down to AAA saying “ Its been very disappointing but I
have my head high. Injuries and slumps are holding my team back from full
potential. I think we have a few more quality wins under our belt in the second
half of the year”.
10. CW’s
Trouser Trouts (2-8) With a horrendous start GM Juice Van Heche still thinks
the Trout’s have something to play for saying “Our only goal at this point is
to continue to make moves and make the team better. With the complete logjam in
the middle of the standings one good week from my team could ruin one teams
season while allowing another to sneak into the playoffs. It has never been a
thought in my mind to just throw in the towel like GM’s have in the past(Jason
Stanley) as that really takes away from the integrity of the league”.
Those
were strong words issued by Coach Van Heche so we asked if he wanted to retract
his indictment of former GM Jason Stanley, he refused and fired back “There is
a reason he is no longer in the league. In living with him for 5 years I got an
inside look at how he ran his team and needless to say the man was just not fit
to run a baseball squad”
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